How does a guy go about finding women interested in casual hookups?

I have realized recently that this actually is something I would like to do. It seems to be fairly common for guys to do it and it is socially acceptable for the most part. I am 28 and I would like to just have some fun with attractive women. Not necessarily just sex, I would like to just have the "girlfriend experience" sort of thing. They can be 18 or 23 or 35 or 50 age doesn't really matter as long as I am attracted to them. But I do not want it to be with escorts, I want it to be with women who are genuinely attracted to me and want to do it. How do guys normally go about seeking out these types of relationships?

No judgment please, your moral values are not mine.

That is true.

Tinder? -.^

From what I heard from people OK Cupid is known for casual hookups as well as plenty of fish. There are some "adult" sites I think but unsure which ones. Also go to the bar? Women who pick up men in bars are usually looking for casual hookups. Try to type "casual dating" and see what comes up? Make sure you use protection if it gets to that point

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I have never used it but I believe the first poster had a good point too. Tinder, I believe is really catered to exactly that - casual hook ups.

Yeah I have heard of ok cupid and tinder, but from what I have seen most girls on there are still looking for relationships, same as in real life. The main trouble I am having is how to go about letting a girl know that you would like to hook up with her without potentially offender her and being labeled as a creep. It seems to me like it is acceptable for guys to hook up only of "it just happens" but going out and seeking it is considered taboo. So how does a guy go about making it "just happen"?

You are right. It could come across as offensive if you tell women that. At the same time not saying it up front isn't honest. It's a tough one. Most women I know of any ages do look for more than hookups. Do you have any single friends who might give you pointers?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

From what I was reading on a "pick up artist" sort of website, which is about this sort of thing, younger women(18-23) are usually much more open to casual sex. As women get older, they develop this thing called "anti-slut defense" which is basically a result of society's sexual repression and "slut shaming". They basically feel this internal pressured to repress their sexual urges. And of course as we know it is taboo for men to seek younger women, especially for sex. Another reason why aging makes my life miserable. Personally I think this is what society intended. Society doesn't want men past their late 20s or so to be having casual sex, and since younger women are usually the ones who are into casual sex, stopping us from getting with younger women is a pretty good way to accomplish that.

I don't know. I actually think and observed from people I
personally know that people might go for casual hookups when they are just out of divorce or relationship and aren't ready for anything serious ( especially if they have kids at home). You might have better luck with older women who aren't ready for anything serious but don't mind casual dating for the time being. Not sleeping around but not having any big plans etc

I don't know anything about sexual repression or suppressing urges. I never felt repressed or limiting my needs. Maybe others do but I don't so i can only speak for myself. I don't mean I sleep around of course lol

I wouldn't worry about society and see if you can find some women for casual dating on those websites mentioned?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It's not that there aren't women interested in casual hookups, it's that the ratio of women who are, to men who are, make for not much better than lottery odds for men. A woman who is "interested"... and I put this in quotes because for a woman, interest doesn't really come into it.. if we want it, it's there, and an "interest" doesn't need to develop... and young women 18-23 simply haven't yet entirely discovered how this works in their favor! But they figure it out quick enough, with everyone banging on their door..

Chris Rock once explained this dynamic with .

I think Tinder is about as close as you're gonna get though, without involving, er, professional women. I'd certainly recommend being indicative about your intentions, unless you want to waste time entertaining the hopes of girls interested in a relationship which it sounds like you don't.

Just describe yourself as dynamic, and carefree, and always looking for new experiences, stuff like that. We'll know what you mean.

Good point describing yourself as carefree and adventurous etc

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Tinder ! and you could go ole school and head out to a bar !

Create a Tinder profile and write "not looking for anything serious" at the bottom. There are soooo many people who do that. If that's what you want, it's really quite easy to find. We've suggested online dating to you numerous times, and you've always declined, but I hope you try it this time. That is exactly what tinder is for. It's actually much more difficult to find people looking for relationships than hookups.

Yes I think Tinder is the way to go, and use the "carefree, adventurous, not looking for anything serious" headline. You can find almost everything on the internet, casual hookups should be the easiest.

Is there any truth to the idea that women tend to only go for guys under 26 when seeking hookups? I have seen this suggested several times now. If it is true, can someone explain to me why? What does a guy under 26 have that I at 28 don't have?

It does seem like the only time I hear about stories of guys having casual hookups with women, it typically guys in their teens or early 20s and rarely guys older than that. It often seems to me like even older women only have casual sex with younger guys and have sex with men their own age and older only when it is in the context of a relationship. It actually seems like it is more often than not guys in their teens getting laid. Just look at the stories of teachers having affair with their underage male students. How often do 30 year old men get sex from hot women with no strings attached?

Shadix, why are you again going down the road of " my age..

Women that are just looking for a hookup isn't going to give a ratsasss that your 28.

I think your again over complicating this situation..

As in the great Nike ads...... Just do it

Question: are you wanting casual dates, or one night stands? Or both or either? There's a pretty big difference between them though!

Try plenty of fish - it's got a bit where you select what you're looking for - long term, casual, that sort of stuff. There are tons of people just looking for hook ups, especially on tinder and plenty of fish (try them all really, if for no other reason than to figure out which one your local area seems to use the most).

Every one night stand I've had has been with men about the same age as me - a few years older if not the same age. Then again, I only go along with things if I know someone who knows them (I've never gone out looking for a hookup but I've just gone with the flow sometimes). When out I will turn down men who I think are younger than me (I've asked a few times too).

The teacher thing: teaching is a predominantly female industry, so of course there will be more documented occurances with women. Percentage wise it's probably quite different. Either way, it's rape - teachers are in a position of power over their students so it is always considered rape. Which isn't what you are looking for at all.

30 year old men would be more likely to have hook ups - they're more likely to have stuff like money, as well as experience. And, a lucky bit for guys - men are often considered to age well and look better as they get older, while women tend to be considered less attractive every year (am going off of celebrity/movie star information I read about how the actors and actresses get treated differently in the media as they age).

Regardless, wanting some casual whether is just relaxed dates or sex, there is nothing wrong with that. The only thing that would be wrong would be if you were to lead someone on.

Either. But more so an FWB type thing than just a one night stand. However the sex isn't really the essential part I'm looking for, I just want to be with a female I'm attracted to and is attracted to me and enjoy each other's company romantically and sexually without necessarily committed to a long term relationship. When I say sexually though I don't necessarily mean going all the way, I would love to just make out and cuddle and stuff like that. Make sense?

...not really.

That is a lot of gray area.

Tinder is for casual sex i.e. a hookup. In fact, a straight up hookup is pretty easy to find. What you are looking for is a short term relationship with all of the perks, without any commitment. I don't know if there is a place to find that without confusing women in the process.

Well, it depends what you mean by "relationship" I suppose. A FWB is a sort of relationship technically, is it not? But if you mean like an exclusive relationship, then no that is not what I am looking for right now. I am mainly looking for sexual enjoyment and experience with girls. I don't think I ever mentioned this, but the few sexual experiences I have had have been with escorts. And honestly they were not satisfying experiences at all. I don't think it is possible to enjoy a sexual experience when you are in a state of fear that you could be robbed or arrested or your car might break down and you'd have to explain to your parents why you are where you are. Basically in terms of dating and sex, do not think of me as a 28 year old think of me as an 18 year old in the body of a 28 year old. I actually I have less experience in this area than most 18 year olds.

Then put on your profile that you are looking for friendship of short term or casual dating etc and see what happens. No one cares if you 26 or 28 or 30 or 69. Just go for it

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You're just scared, and that's ok.

I don't think there is any need to write anything about specifying your intentions on a profile. Just put yourself out there, start dating, and see what happens. Sometimes you won't click at all, sometimes you'll get laid on the first date and won't ever call her again, and you just might meet the love of your life.

You don't really even know what you want. You just need to have experiences. Have fun. Be nice.

That is not an 'affair'; what you described there is a crime. Therapy--preferably with a male therapist--will help you figure out what is keeping you spinning around and around on the same topic.

I don't think you're going to find women interested in casual hookups. And if there was such a thing, I'm sure they've already have been having sex with whoever they wanted.

Don't use Tinder for that purpose. I haven't seen any girls on there looking for "casual hookups". I haven't seen any girls like that on OKCupid or PoF either. Or on any other site for that matter. The only thing that might be a possibility is a blatant site for that such as adultfriendfinder. I tried that site for all of 5 minutes before I called to get my money back. Its just a big scam. Basically, if there were women out there that just wanted casual sex, they have already been having it. Its too hard to find such a thing as a guy. I guess the best thing you could try would be to hookup in real life situations such as at a bar, but you're going to find really not-so-good people with who-knows-what kinds of problems, probably more problems than you're willing to deal with. Also, this sort of behavior is still generally shunned and widely not-accepted today. Good luck!

Yeah I agree that it's a crime. I was using it as an example because it is a situation where women are without a doubt seeking purely sexual experiences without the expectations of any sort of commitment. I often see people suggest that women are pretty much never just want sex and are always doing it in hopes of something more. These occurences are proof that women do have purely sexual urges like men. I think women typically keep it on the downlow when they have these types of sexual escapades. The only reason we hear about these is because it is illegal and they are arrested for it. However online you can find people anonymously sharing stories of their sexual experiences, and from what I have read it seems like it is always the really young guys in their teens and early 20s having those casual hookups, with both women their own age and older women. So I am wondering if women just don't feel sexually attracted to men past this age or if there is something else at play here.

Why a male therapist? I have had a couple sessions with two make therapists before and with both of them I didn't like where it was going. I just feel more comfortable talking to females about this stuff for some reason.

Of course women have purely sexual urges and there are many women who want hookups/FWB. It is very common. It has nothing to do with age. I could list at least five female friends who are currently looking/finding people to hook up with, and they tend to choose people over 25. The only person who is obsessed with age is YOU. The "problems" you keep identifying are not real; they are things you imagine. If you feel your only options are escorts, then there is a problem with your thinking that you should probably address in therapy. If you think women want men in their late teens/early twenties, then how come women were not all over you when you were that age? Doesn't that prove your thinking is flawed? Your problem is that you are creating mental obstacles for yourself-- you are afraid or lack confidence or something. The problem is not age. The sooner you address what is actually going on for you, the sooner you can start finding the companionship you seek.