I really want to make up with my ex best friend

I've been depressed for awhile, and because of it I've ended up pushing away multiple friends. Just recently my ex best friend and I got into a huge fight. We actually were both dealing with depression. It was pretty bad and we worked at the same job which made it even worse. After I quit, she told me she no longer wanted to be in contact with me. A month later, I messaged her apologizing. She said "Thank you for your message I really appreciate it. Hope you're doing well." Then about two days later I texted her a picture of something that reminded me of her and she responded to that as well. Both times she texted back almost immediately. I've always known her to be very forgiving and I really miss her. I want to message her again, but I'm trying to wait it out. She said she didn't want me speaking to her anymore, but she didn't block me on anything and now she's responding to me.

After our initial fight, we made up and talked it out, but it was through text/Facebook. I'm a face to face kind of person and every time I attempted to ask to meet with her in person, she never responded. I know she has bad anxiety and this whole thing probably made her anxious, but all I want to do is see her again and tell her how much I miss her.

Tricky ... she's responding to your light-hearted messages, but has kind of made it clear, for now, that she doesn't want to meet by not responding to those particular texts.

On the one hand you do say that she's a very forgiving person. Maybe she's had enough time to think this whole thing through and the distance created by you two no longer working in the same place may have helped give her a bit more space too.

It's a pity that she hasn't been receptive to your offer of meeting in the past.

Perhaps once she's processed all of this she may be in a better headspace to meet you.

Don't give up all hope on this friendship just yet.

Thanks! I will continue trying but I won't be too pushy. I should also mention that one time at work I asked her in person what she was doing a certain day and if we could meet up. She said yes and that she'd text me. She never did and when I asked she said she was sick, but photos of her on Facebook came up on my newsfeed the day we were supposed to get together and she looked just fine. I was really hurt because she had agreed to meet up and I had blocked off the entire day for her. I left that job the day after and told her in a message how hurt I was. That's when she said she had decided she didn't want to speak anymore. Whenever I express my feelings she ignores that too and only responds if I awknoledge her feelings.

I would really like some more advice on this situation if possible.

I think Crazy hitch gave stellar advice as always.

Your friend has put up some boundaries and you really have no right to try and push through them. Everyone has a right to keep people in there life or not.

As much as this has hurt you.... you really have no choice than to accept it and move on, Maybe she will respond or maybe not.

Im sorry your hurting

I agree with hitch, on one level but I also caution you from continuing to try and message her. She set up a boundary and you are, in effect violating it. you don't know if she's just being polite. The apology was appropriate but to be honest if I tell someone I no longer want to be in contact it means what I say unless I say otherwise.

My point being I don't think you should give up on the friendship either, but not sure that continuing to message her (whether light hearted or not) is fair to her or if it's really kind of rude? I'd send one message and then leave it at this. Ask her if it's alright that you're messaging her again - get it out in the open. Do NOT message her until she responds to that.

Rather than leave your entire day open, and thus leaving yourself vulnerable to feeling resentful, another option might be to do a followup text in a day or two, e.g. How about if we meet at 12 for lunch?".

She could have felt stalked and accused by your bringing this up.

It was not her fault that you blocked off the entire day. As above, I think a followup text would be an idea to consider.

You quit the job because of this incident?

I expect that she was hurt too, and also angered, by what could feel like stalking to her, and by your accusing her of lying.

People do appreciate having their feelings being acknowledged, so it is good of you to do that.

My suggestion is to send a followup text in a day or so to ask about a specific time. If you don't hear back, just assume that the person can't do it anymore and move on without getting hurt about it or telling your feelings about it.

If it happens a few times with the same person, you can inquire with them about it. But in my opinion the inquiry should be one of nonjudgmental interest, such as "I've noticed that we have a lot of trouble getting together. Is there anything wrong between us?" The inquiry should not amount to an accusation, such as a statement of how hurt you are by the way she is behaving.

I never told her about the photo. Even if I did, it showed up in MY news feed. We were friends on Fb. It's not like I was checking her profile constantly and keeping tabs on everything she was doing. I quit my job because she spread rumors and told the managers and everyone else about things I never did or said and they started treating me horribly. This fed my depression, and I have another job that pays more so it wasn't a big deal. But based on the way she responded I feel like she misses me, but doesn't want to get close again too fast and that's okay because I'd rather not do that either.