[mugwort2]

A woman friend is in the hospital for taking an overdose. I presume she's getting good care. I only know she didn't complain. She wants me to go to her apt and bring some items for her. She wants me to go to the hospital and get her keys so I can go to her apt room and get the things she wants. How does this sound to you. I'd really appreciate replies. She wants me to go 6/26/16.
Plus my sister gave her around $100.00 to tide her over. Its a long story Well she figured she didn't need the cash since she was going to kill herself. She tore up the check. In a way I don't blame her. Suicidal feelings can do that.
She wants to tell my sister what she did with the check. Hope Roz understands

Wow, I hope your friend gets well soon. I take it you're a man and hesitant to enter her premises? How well do you know her? Is she more than a friend?

Those questions apply regardless of gender, I think. Why are you hesitant? Tell us more and then we can give our opinion on whether it's a good idea. I sense your intuition tells you this might not be a good idea.

[mugwort2]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

Wow, I hope your friend gets well soon. I take it you're a man and hesitant to enter her premises? How well do you know her? Is she more than a friend?

Those questions apply regardless of gender, I think. Why are you hesitant? Tell us more and then we can give our opinion on whether it's a good idea. I sense your intuition tells you this might not be a good idea.

I'm not a man. She is a friend. She's my co writer in a blog we write Its in my sig if you want to read it. Yes you're right. Unclear if its a good idea. TY for your feedback.

[Yoda]

Does your friend not have family in the area?

I know when I went inpatient the first time I didn't know what to bring and my sister brought me things I wanted. Do you have any idea how long she will be inpatient?

[Crazy Hitch]

Maybe she doesn't want any of her family knowing she's there?

If she's in a neighbourhood where you don't fear for your safety going there, and you have the time, I can't see much harm in picking up the items she requested.

I hope she gets well soon.

If you have not met her IRL (even factoring in the blog), I don't think it's wise to enter her residence despite her request. I think it would be better if she had someone else gather her items from her home. Does she not have anyone?

Also, I was wondering how much stuff she needs? She's recovering from a suicide attempt. Is she medically cleared and now in the psychiatric crisis unit wing? Those are designed for short term stays and there is not a lot you can bring in.

Are you going to go visit her then? Maybe you can just buy a paperback book and a get well card.

So you've been blogging for four years and are both local? But haven't met IRL yet. Just want to make sure I understand.

Visit her if you can to show support, bring a book or blank journal and a card. Someone else should go to her home. IMO. If you'd already met that's different. I think that's the crux of it for me.

[Bill3]

I would ask the nursing staff if it is okay to bring in these items.

That's an awful lot to ask of a not-IRL friend.

Ask the staff at the hospital for instruction

[divine1966]

If you don't know her in real life certainly don't go to her house. Are you friends in real life or just online?

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[mugwort2]

Originally Posted by Yoda

Does your friend not have family in the area?

I know when I went inpatient the first time I didn't know what to bring and my sister brought me things I wanted. Do you have any idea how long she will be inpatient?

My friend and I are friends going back to the early 90s. She never mentioned there were any local relatives. She doesn't want me to get anything for her stay. She wants her checkbook so she can pay her rent. I appreciate your caring response to me.

[mugwort2]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

If you have not met her IRL (even factoring in the blog), I don't think it's wise to enter her residence despite her request. I think it would be better if she had someone else gather her items from her home. Does she not have anyone?

Also, I was wondering how much stuff she needs? She's recovering from a suicide attempt. Is she medically cleared and now in the psychiatric crisis unit wing? Those are designed for short term stays and there is not a lot you can bring in.

Are you going to go visit her then? Maybe you can just buy a paperback book and a get well card.

So you've been blogging for four years and are both local? But haven't met IRL yet. Just want to make sure I understand.

Visit her if you can to show support, bring a book or blank journal and a card. Someone else should go to her home. IMO. If you'd already met that's different. I think that's the crux of it for me.

She only wants the things she needs so she can pay her rent. I know her irl. We even go to different events together. My boyfriend lives in Princeton and I only see him a couple times a month We meet in N.E. Philly.

[mugwort2]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

That's an awful lot to ask of a not-IRL friend.

Ask the staff at the hospital for instruction

She is a RLF We've seen each other plenty of times through the years.

[mugwort2]

Originally Posted by Bill3

I would ask the nursing staff if it is okay to bring in these items.

Offhand I believe it would be okay to bring her checkbook. To be on the safe side I'll consider asking to be certain. She just wants to be able to pay her rent for her apt.

[A Red Panda]

If she is a good enough friend that it's lasted since the 90s, you write a blog together, and your sister gave her money....... Then I am struggling to understand why it would be a challenge for you to go to her place to get the things she's asked you to get?

She clearly needs your support now more than ever. She's attempted suicide, and she has reached out to you and let you know what has happened. She trusts you.

I understand your trepidation ... Perhaps another friend can go with you to kind of act as a witness?

Or even a police officer you may know, perhaps?

As far as inquiries about where her "family" is ... Not all families are "good".

Hell, some of them are so downright evil that they're what drives people to attempt to kill themselves in the first place!

Sad, But true!

Originally Posted by mugwort2

She only wants the things she needs so she can pay her rent. I know her irl. We even go to different events together. My boyfriend lives in Princeton and I only see him a couple times a month We meet in N.E. Philly.

Oh, well that is good. I wouldn't see a problem with you picking up her things then. Are you simply uncomfortable going to her residence without her there?

[mugwort2]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

If she is a good enough friend that it's lasted since the 90s, you write a blog together, and your sister gave her money....... Then I am struggling to understand why it would be a challenge for you to go to her place to get the things she's asked you to get?

She clearly needs your support now more than ever. She's attempted suicide, and she has reached out to you and let you know what has happened. She trusts you.

I decided to bring what she wants monday. Her apt. policy makes it impossible to do it Sunday. I called the apt bldg and that's what I was told. I wanted to make sure it was okay with her apt. policy.

[Nammu]

I find it odd that your heading states it's a woman in the hospital instead of a friend. You've known her since the 90's, attend the same events but you are not close enough to call her friend in the title nor close enough to be comfortable getting her checkbook for her. I feel sorry for her that she has no one close to call for help. I'm glad you have decided to help, even though you have reservations about it.

[divine1966]

I am confused. If she is your friend since 90s which is at least 16 years of friendship then why is it so problematic to go get her checkbook? So problematic that you are asking total strangers how you should handle such basic task. I thought it is someone you don't know irl. I am confused why is this even an issue and why you were so hesitant ? Is there more to the story?

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[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by mugwort2

I decided to bring what she wants monday. Her apt. policy makes it impossible to do it Sunday. I called the apt bldg and that's what I was told. I wanted to make sure it was okay with her apt. policy.

That's very kind of you and I'm sure your friend appreciates it

She's clearly not in a good place right now so it's the little things that count.

[mugwort2]

Thanks everyone for your feedback. Upshot. I went over to the hospital psych ward where she is. She was transferred today 6,30.16. Got there at 3 pm. She told me to see her before 4 pm. The procedure is to go to the information desk. No prob. The woman told me visiting hrs. wasn't until 7:30 pm. Okay my woman freind was wrong but hey everyone makes mistakes. So I didn't complain to her. Felt I needed to explain since she left 3 messages why I didn't come. I explained nicely. Okay this is what I decided in getting her checkbook. Hope I don't sound really selfish but its super hot where here. Plus my primary last week diagnosed me with the wearing of the cartilage of both knees (chondromalacia) Carol wanted the checkbook to pay her rent. She told me there'd be a $30.00 late fee. I told her it was too much for me to go to her apt at night. Frankly concerned for my safety. Don't know the area that well. Let her know I would pay the difference and she doesn't owe me for the money. I wonder too if there is a case manager who can get the checkbook.

[A Red Panda]

So in 5 days you haven't been able to find any time at all during daylight hours (during the month with the most light) to go to her place? Wow.

I really feel for this poor woman. You're the person she is trusting the most right now.... She must be feeling humiliated along with the depression. I can't imagine having no one to ask to get something from my home, then reaching out to the person I was closest to, and having them not help.

I don't understand how you have known this woman since the 90s yet are still unwilling to step up when she obviously really needs a friend. It's not like you've known her casually for a month. You've known her ages, your sister offered to loan her money which means she is also a family friend.... And you write a blog together. Between you and your sister I truly don't understand how you can't get her chequebook for her. It's really a small thing to ask of someone but is a huge need for her right now.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by mugwort2

She is a RLF We've seen each other plenty of times through the years.

In that case I echo what the above poster has said.

[mugwort2]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

So in 5 days you haven't been able to find any time at all during daylight hours (during the month with the most light) to go to her place? Wow.

I really feel for this poor woman. You're the person she is trusting the most right now.... She must be feeling humiliated along with the depression. I can't imagine having no one to ask to get something from my home, then reaching out to the person I was closest to, and having them not help.

I don't understand how you have known this woman since the 90s yet are still unwilling to step up when she obviously really needs a friend. It's not like you've known her casually for a month. You've known her ages, your sister offered to loan her money which means she is also a family friend.... And you write a blog together. Between you and your sister I truly don't understand how you can't get her chequebook for her. It's really a small thing to ask of someone but is a huge need for her right now.

It wasn't to do with the time. It was the fact visiting hrs. weren't until 7:30 pm. I don't trust her neighborhood being there by myself. Hospital itself is within walking distance. Plus my health conditions, ie my knees. It hurts when I walk. I offered to pay her the difference. She understood. I did try to do what she wanted. It was NOT a small thing to ask. I don't drive. Like I should go to a neighborhood by myself I'm not that familiar with at night? She thought me paying the late rent fee was good enough for her. Obviously that solution wasn't good enough for you. I'm just happy it was okay with my friend. I believe I did the right thing.

[mugwort2]

PS She didn't give me the impression she was humiliated. You don't know her. I do. She sounded fine with how I handled the situation. Plus I think offering to pay the late fee IS being a friend.