Nope...can't

[Trippin2.0]

Maybe the "comfort" you find is simply in being part of a pair... Not everyone is comfortable alone.


But that being said, at what price are you willing to hold on?


Are you reaping the rewards of what you're investing into this man, this relationship?


If you make a pros and cons list, which side wins, is it neck and neck or by a landslide?


Are you willing to sacrifice yourself just for the sake of not being alone?


I mean what is the absolute worst that can happen if you leave?


Your world won't collapse and your breath won't be taken from you.


Life will go on...


I've loved men who were bad for me, the worst I loved almost on principal alone. I said I would, so I decided to keep my word.


Not a bad characteristic, but not a good one when it nearly gets you killed and makes you question your sanity every other week.


It was toxic as hell.


Yes, love endures, but true love is reciprocal.


It doesn't endure torture from each other, it endures whatever obstacles life throws your way. Together, as a team.


Remember that.


The longer we hold onto the wrong people, the less chance we afford ourselves of having the right people.


Take me for instance...

If I didn't leave my ex when I did, I wouldn't have given my current bf a chance and he would've left and gone abroad again. But because I was single and we were catching up, (Old friends) he decided it was worth it to stay on dry land.


Ps. I don't mean for you to answer the above questions, just some points for you to think on.


Self preservation is more useful than martyrdom.


I wish you well.

[Trippin2.0]

This is the second time you delete an OP... Part of you wants to face facts and gain the support and maybe even the strength you need... But it seems an even bigger part of you wants to pretend everything is either ok, or not that bad....


I really hope you learn to love yourself enough to save yourself from this unhealthy madness.

[avlady]

good luck!!!!!!!

Thank you. I appreciate your input.
Everything you said is very true.
I know the facts, really i do.

I talk openly about this with my t and i acknowledge that right now I'm choosing what is probably not best for me.

I have left bad relationships before. One i was longer in than this and the bs made me no longer love him.

That just hasn't happened here and im dealing with someone who has his own demons so i do feel very different. There is this connection. I can't explain it. I have never had it. Maybe it's all caused by mental illness maybe not. That part i don't know.

When i was alone i had the best few years of my life.

Just something that keeps me connected here for either good or bad reasons.

I get super anxious sharing anything about myself. If i could delete all my posts from the past i would. Kinda wish you didn't bring that up but you wanted to share your thoughts on that.

Just recently shared in a thread and panicked a day later hoping i could erase it.

Anxiety of course being on the laundry list of my issues.

[Trippin2.0]

Believe it or not, I didn't not love my ex when I left. Which sounds retarded considering what he did to me. But he was my first real bf, my child's father so I sure as hell didn't hate him when I left.


I left because he was bad for me, bad for my child, and i figured best to jump ship now than wait for things to get even worse and scar my child for life.


I know its a long shot, but don't you think its better to leave before all good feelings you have toward him are gone?


Who knows, maybe under the right circumstances you two remain friends or your break up inspires and motivates him to get help.



That's what happened with me... My current bf broke up with me due to me not handling my shyt and dragging him down with me.


I sought professional help (without him knowing) and we managed to get back together....


We don't have to wait until we get burned to ash before we decide enough is enough, sometimes walking away is best for both involved.


There's absolutely nothing wrong with loving the good the bad and the ugly in someone, as long as that person fully reciprocates, and it never hurts you to do so.