[stolemyheart87]

Why is it, at least for me, that all the guys I have ever dated or plan to date, they always say "My ex cheated on me." why is this always the case? What do these guys do to cause their girlfriends to go off and cheat to begin with? I don't get it.

[Crazy Hitch]

What do these guys do to cause their girlfriends to go off and cheat to begin with?

Nobody does anything that deserves them to be cheated on.

Cheating is a choice.

If people can make a choice to cheat, then people can make a choice to leave a relationship before they cheat on their partner.

[A Red Panda]

They didn't do anything to cause women to cheat on them. Someone who cheats is always the one at fault there, because it's a choice.

They may have done anything to cause their exes to be unhappy in the relationship. Or not. But they didn't cause their exes to cheat, the exes made that choice instead of being more respectful and ending the relationship.

Blaming the victim? That's never ok.

As to whether it's a line or not? You'll never know if you don't trust them. But it isn't always a line and it isn't always the truth. It depends on the person. Men get cheated on just the same as women get cheated on, so statistically there are certainly men who are telling the truth about having been cheated on.

[stolemyheart87]

Well I have never been cheated on. Or if I did I never knew haha.

[A Red Panda]

Then you are lucky.

Some people have been cheated on. Some people have not been cheated on. Some people have cheated on their partners. Some people would never cheat on their partner.

You just can't lump people altogether into one category based on gender.

[divine1966]

You have very negative opinion of men. Or just very contradictory opinions. Just based on your posts. You said you only meet jobless men who only want sex. Even the one you date now only wants sex or fool around and the only activity he plans is for you to come over for fooling around. Then you say they don't cheat. Yet women cheat on them. I wouldn't worry about they say on the subject of cheating but worry about hanging out with them. I'd start worrying why are you attracted to these men. You can do better

[stolemyheart87]

I have found men who are better but yet they don't talk to me. I could message them a long paragraph of a topic of something we like and they can't reply back, BUT they are online? Its like HELLO.

[divine1966]

Them being online doesn't mean they need to reply. Are these people you know?

[stolemyheart87]

These are guys I WANT TO DATE AND GET TO KNOW. I message them to talk to them and they NEVER reply back or they take forever to reply back.

[divine1966]

It takes two people to want to date each other. If you want to date them it doesn't always mean they want to date you. These are strangers and they can't be forced to talk or date you

[stolemyheart87]

Well what to do then?

[divine1966]

Possibly see a therapist and try to figure out why you are attracted to
Men with whom it can't work

[stolemyheart87]

No it can work, they just don't show interest or can't be up front with me and all this other stuff. And can you please stop telling me to see a therapist. A therapist won't know anything about dating or love.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by stolemyheart87

No it can work, they just don't show interest or can't be up front with me and all this other stuff. And can you please stop telling me to see a therapist. A therapist won't know anything about dating or love.

You have very unhealthy ideas about relationships with men or probably people in general. YES ! This is exactly the type of stuff that people go to Therapy for..... Just your reactions from advice given here is a heads up that ..... yes ... therapy would certainly be helpful, well helpful if you want to improve your life and relationships.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by stolemyheart87

No it can work, they just don't show interest or can't be up front with me and all this other stuff. And can you please stop telling me to see a therapist. A therapist won't know anything about dating or love.

Doesn't show interest--Will. Not Work.
Can't be up front with me--Will. Not. Work.
All this other stuff--WTF? What do we not know already that we know WILL NOT WORK.

You do realize they have therapists specifically for dating and love...and everything else that's going wrong in your head...right?

[divine1966]

Therapy or seeing a Pdoc is most certainly something you should try. Please

[stolemyheart87]

ENOUGH. I am NOT seeing a therapist. All I want to do is date and find a guy for me period. And your wrong, me and this one guy who won't reply back to my messages had lots to talk about and still do have tons to talk about. He is the one that stopped talking to me.

[~Christina]

I'll throw this out there , this is for all 7 of your posts.

Your anger at anyone that offers advice that you don't want to hear is really troubling, the majority of people seek advice consider the advice given. You don't have to like or agree with it but I really haven't seen you being gracious much or if all . People are taking time to read all your threads and respond . You like to be dismissive and well to be blunt rude.

This constant need for people to respond right away to your text and your unreasonable demands on there time seems a lot like borderline personality disorder.

* this is not meant to be offensive for anyone with bpd that is working on getting better*

I am certainly not a doctor and can not diagnose, but maybe if you take a look at Borderline PD something might catch your eye.

You will hate that I advise again, talk to a Therapist. If nothing else you can pay to ignore common sense advice, or maybe paying someone will be more productive for you than asking strangers on the Internet that take time to offer help that you don't want to hear anyway.

I hope you do find someone that loves you for you.,,, same as you need to love some one for who they are and don't try to change them to suit your needs.

[BreakForTheLight]

You're on a forum for mental health and you're surprised when people tell you to see a therapist?

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by stolemyheart87

ENOUGH. I am NOT seeing a therapist. All I want to do is date and find a guy for me period. And your wrong, me and this one guy who won't reply back to my messages had lots to talk about and still do have tons to talk about. He is the one that stopped talking to me.

[divine1966]

You contradict yourself. If a guy had lots to say to you he'd be replying. He isn't replying because he has nothing to say

[divine1966]

I just realized you must be very young as you are the same person who lives with her parents and got in trouble for cussing at home. Are you of legal age?

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by BreakForTheLight

You're on a forum for mental health and you're surprised when people tell you to see a therapist?

Her profile says she is here for "relationship issues".

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I just realized you must be very young as you are the same person who lives with her parents and got in trouble for cussing at home. Are you of legal age?

She claims she works at concerts and that she drives. But I really don't believe a single word she says.

[stolemyheart87]

I am 29 but since you don't believe me thats fine. Anyway me and the guy I was dating for 2 months, cut ties between each other. Now I am talking to some other guys and going to see what happens next.