Am I really not Appealing to Males?

When you write down what kind of person you are looking for, it should read so that a lot of people will think "That's me".

Well, what I had written down in that "NEW PROFILE" good or bad?

I am not looking for someone thats Catholic let alone religious, religion doesn't matter to me. I've dated all types of guys from various religions.

As for longest serious relationships, longest ever for me was 3 years and 9 months, and then 1 year, and the last was 11 months, so almost a year haha.

2 of those were engagements.

All those other dating websites and apps cost money, and you don't know if the user you are messaging on the PAID dating sites, is also a paid member.

What type of outfit should I be wearing for the photos?

UPDATE

Alright this is the style I usually wear and these girls don't smile in their photos, how come they can get away with it, but when I smile I get butchered for it?

http://dark-world.ru/files/bands/pho...w_bfjg1i93.jpg

Just a heads up...
In case it didn't occur to you, celibacy, while in the confounds of a relationship is usually religion based. Not always no, but usually we learn the "no sex before marriage" lesson as part of religious teachings.


So in some ways you are either looking for a possible virgin waiting for marriage, who's probably religious, orrrr a sexually active person who is willing to swear off sex for you until you two are married.

@The O.P, try meetup.com to meet specific type of guys. It's perfect since it's free and it's mostly catered towards people in their 20's-30's. There are lots of singles groups and there are definitely lots of groups for everything that you can think of.

There are even groups for stoners, lol! So of course, there will be anime groups. I like metal music too, and there are a few groups for that, and even one goth group in my area. You can even start your own group, but organizers have to pay meetup a monthly fee.

Also, you can meet a lot more guys in person and weed out the ones that you don't like a lot quicker. Or you can meet a few cool friends in process! Just go and see what happens! Just play it cool and don't expect to much to soon or you might end up scaring away potential dates.

Instead of spending time waiting for one person to maybe ask you out on a date, you'll get to meet lots of guys in a much lower pressure environment right away who also share your interests like anime and music. Good luck with everything!

You should use tisha's corrections at least. But then, maybe younger guys would prefer your way of writing, even if us oldsters dont

I've tried that site and most 20-30 something's don't drive uh I want a guy that drives so we can go out and do stuff. Riding the bus, train, uber is nice and all but that cost money too and thats another thing most guys don't work so they don't got cash or know how to save money to use when going out on dates haha. Its confusing trust me.

I'm surprised to learn most guys don't work, don't have a car, don't have any money. What's happened to America?

I know I'm old school. Young guys in high school even used to work, have cars, and call and pick a girl up at her house for a date and they'd pay.

I guess you just have to do what feels right to you.

These guys who don't have anything going for them, and can't remember to keep a date with you, frankly sound really unappealing to me. You shouldn't worry about appealing to them. It sounds like they have nothing to offer you.

There have to be good quality young men and women. I want to believe!

I know that's the way things use to be, but nowadays there are 20 and 30 something's that don't have nothing going for them, and the one's that do, only want the super model looking people or they themselves think they are better than everyone else etc.

It is kind of hypocritical to criticize these guys for not working and not driving when you also don't work and don't drive. The reason a lot of the guys you are interested in are not messaging back may because you don't work and don't drive, not because you aren't "model" good looking. It's frustrating and difficult to be the only one in a relationship who works, drives, and has money to spend. It's unbalanced and the one doing all the work begins to feel taken advantage of. Is there a reason you can't drive? Imoroving your actual life situation (rather than just editing the profile) may give you better results if you're absolutely set on dating someone with a job and a car.

You can't expect guys to drive you anywhere. You either need to get your own license or use public transportation - the guys should not have to pick you up all the time. I'm saying that as a 32 year old who does not drive. And I do not live in a place with good public transit.

In my experiences, when I've lived in places with good public transit, so really large cities, most people don't drive. But in places where the transit isn't huge because it's more a suburban area? Everyone drives, very few don't.

Since you live somewhere that has fairly regular midweek concerts I would say you live somewhere urban - and should be able to get yourself around.

By the age of 29/30 people should have a job. If they are still a student that is one thing. But jobless? No. Working somewhere crappy? Yep that's common. But not working at all? Maybe the people you meet....but it's not that common. Since hitting adulthood I haven't met anyone who doesn't work - I've met people who've been laid off and in between jobs, or still a student, but everyone has been working since they finished school in some form or another.

I find that most people want someone who has as much put together as they do, or more. So that might explain some of your challenges and perspectives - you have nothing in regards to stability to offer (no job no home no vehicle no post-secondary education, no qualifications really) so the men who would accept that likely have the same. But you want someone who drives and has their life together - and those men are likely to pass you over. Not because of your appearance, but because they will see that they would have to be the provider in the relationship and that you wouldn't be contributing equally in regards to finances and responsibilities.

If I hadn't got a job, learnt how to drive and studied at college after I left school, and just stayed at home rent free going to concerts all the time and spent my life on dating websites wanting to talk to guys all night, my parents would have my *** out on the street ASAP. They certainly wouldn't wait til I was 29. Six months after leaving high school max. Sort your life out and then look for someone. Put your energy into yourself.

Why don't you just stop it. I am working on myself, I am applying jobs right now as I am typing this, I am great at doing various things at once, so YES I can apply to jobs and still post here as well. Anyway I CAN DRIVE. I just can't afford insurance because I don't work. But I do have a driver's license, I just have not driven since I received my driver's license which was a few years ago. My parents, me being the only child, are scared of me driving because they fear I will get hurt. Thats another reason as to why I don't drive. I do use public transit to get around, riding buses, walking, subway trains, regular trains too to get around. I don't use uber, lyft, or traxis because they are too pricey.

Again I am working on myself and I can date too so stop telling me how to live my life and telling me to go get my life together, and to work and do this and do that. I know that, and I am working on it.

While all these comments are great, you really should take some time out for your own self and not rush into... marriage. You say in a different thread how you are having trouble with work because of your depression and anxiety but here, you're saying you're actively looking for work. Which is it? I also caught on that you're 29 but haven't driven in years because your parents don't want you to hurt yourself. How is being independent and getting yourself to a potential job going to hurt? Many men would be turned off by this arrangement. At least men your age who do have their stuff together. It seems like you're just waiting around for any man to rescue you so you can play house. Men want to see that you can take care of yourself first.

Yes, most guys DO work. If you only know 20-somethings who don't work, you're getting a false impression of what's normal.

Most only children are allowed to drive by the age of 29. If your parents are really preventing you living like an adult, you need to do everything in your power to move out.

Of course you can date while working on yourself, but you ASKED why you're not getting dates, and now you're angry at the answer. Water seeks its own level, and if you live with your parents, don't work, and don't drive, 30 year old men who have a job, car, and home are not likely to want to date you. They simply will not feel they have anything in common with you.

This is not meant to be cruel. It's simply the way the world works.

By all means, keep dating. But keep in mind what has been said here.

You're undeniably attractive, and you don't look like a dude (not that there's anything wrong with that; some of the most beautiful women in this city are dudes). May I suggest an edit to your profile opener?

I can take care of myself ok. And thats the thing with anxiety and depression, it is with you at all times, and the only way to get through it, is to overcome things that you are afraid of. So even though I am afraid to work and don't want to work, I am going to push myself with forcing myself to work and get a job.

As far as driving my parents think I will get into a car accident by driving out there on my own and we will get sued. How many times do I have to explain myself?

But then some of the music guys will assume I only like screamo music when I like different genres, including screamo.

As far as photos go, I am going to be taking NEW photos of myself for these dating websites and apps. So how should I look and dress? Everyone here kept complaining about my bangs being in my face so should they be out of the way? Should I wear jeans and band tshirts or what?

This is just it: you don't have to explain yourself. I think everyone here understands that your parents fear you driving and so you don't.

I don't think anyone is criticizing you--they are merely saying: the world, and people, operate in certain ways, whether we like it or not.

It's as if you're saying, "I want to stick my head in a bear's mouth and know I'm not going to get hurt," and everyone's telling you, the world doesn't work that way, and you respond with, "Yes, but how many times do I have to tell you I WANT to! So tell me how!"

As long as you live at home, don't have a job, and don't drive, you have a much more limited number of men who will be drawn to share a life with you. All the explanations in the world don't change that fact.

So continue dating and not driving, accepting that is a limiting factor, OR...tell your parents you are an adult and they can't wrap you in cotton until you die of old age, because if indeed your not driving is due to them, they are infantilizing you, and this attitude that you'll surely get hurt if you behave like every other adult, and protecting you into child-like dependency that is harming you, is probably a huge part of your depression and anxiety.

By all means, trim the bangs and soften them up a bit and get smaller glasses, but I think people here are telling you, you're looking at the wrong things.

Amen to that!!! ^^^^^

I went and uploaded "NEW" photos - nataly66687 Anime, Antiquing, Brony, Conventions, Cosplay, Dancing