Holding Onto Your Virginity an Issue

I like you, sweetie.

Uh thanks I think.

I remember your saying nobody liked you on the internet.

Yes he will. Those guys are jerks! If that's the response you get it says more about who they are than who you are.Those guys don't want serious relationships if they expect to sleep with every girl they date. Hold on to your virginity. I wish I had. But, I let someone pressure me when I was 18 and lost it. After getting married I felt like I didn't have anything to give my husband. He on the other hand was a virgin when we started dating. There are times he wishes he had waited too, just for the experience of being married first.

I don't understand how these guys are jerks if they respond in most polite and respectful manner rather than leading her on or pressuring. I thought her examples of what men say indicate them to be very considerate and honest while remaining respectful. How is it doing what's right for you is being a "jerk"?

So a man being honest and up front with you is being a jerk? Seems pretty honorable to me.

seesaw

18 and 29 are a big difference. Besides, the OP does not respond on her threads.

Why are we saying "OP" instead of talking directly to stolemyheart87?

Stolemyheart87, how are you doing?

We say OP because sometimes it's easier than remembering how to type the person's full user name. It's a standard online thing, no offense is intended.

It's standard internet abbreviation

Yep it stands for original poster.

I know what "OP" means. It just seems weird to talk about an OP, as if she isn't there. Oh, well.

I agree with Elsa Mars (I've only read the first page of replies). Better that they were honest with you straight away because some wouldn't be and would keep trying their luck to coerce you into it while claiming they were ok with you wanting to save yourself for the right person.

On the other hand, while I admire your decision to wait, I don't know who told you that waiting until you are married before you have sex was what you were supposed to do. It's up to you and you alone when you decide to lose your virginity. If it's 100% your choice, then that's ok, but if someone else is telling you that and it's not, then it's none of their business.

I lost my virginity relatively late to someone who didn't deserve it, so if it's completely your choice I say good on you. There are male virgins out there too and they don't have to be religious, and I would be surprised if there are not dating sites for virgins anyway.

Good luck.

Held my virginity until age 25 got with the wrong girl and now I have HSV-1
It's because holding it too long got me desperate???....

Not sure what I'd have done with mine, lost it not by choice.

Lost my virginity at 27 on a one night stand and felt totally awesome about it. Then went wild and had multiple sexual partners...I've slowed down now, but boy that was fun while it lasted.

Oh man that sucks.

It's all about personal choice. I think OP has much bigger issues than who to give her virginity to.

I would warn though, not finding out what someone is into sexually before you get married could turn into an even bigger issue. You might wait for that special night only to discover you just are not compatible in that way. Then what, divorce?
Are you sure it's a partner your really looking for?
Also what about the guys, you want to wait. Do you mind if they do. I mean do you care if they are virgins or not?
Apologies if these questions have already been answered I wasn't able to read through all the replies.

This thread is great.

Even though I was 16 when I lost it (literally), I was glad to get rid of it. I felt adult and freed to not have it be a limiting factor.

What sucks?

I know...huh?

StoleMyHeart's threads take on a life of their own in spite of her.

I think she is talking to DwNout.

I was just wondering if stolemyheart's views on virginity were influenced by her parents? Are they old fashioned? And staying with your parents will make it harder to lose it anyway. If they do think like that.

I know a man wouldn't have been allowed within 2 miles of me when I stayed at my parents' last year. I'm 41. I couldn't even have my ex stay in the house in a separate bed. So if smh's parents are like that I can see why she believes that you shouldn't lose your virginity until you are married.

Saving yourself has to deal with a lot of religious concepts OR people's own beliefs and what not. My reason's are a bit of both.