How do i come out to my parents??

well, im 17 years old and live with my mother and stepfather right now. my mother knows somewhat that i am a lesbian but chooses to throw 'god' into it and deny the fact that i am. it seems like i always have to cover up if were walking down the street and theres a guy and my mom asks if hes cute, and i agree. i dont feel like fighting with her or getting kicked outta the house. my stepfather?? hes a little homophobic but i think has no idea. im afriad with my problems in the past (read introduction), he'll just kick me out because he cant take any more stress or problems with me. how do i break it officially to them or i dont??
my REAL father can be an idiot sometimes. we were in town once and it was right after the day i went to the gay parade in nyc and there was a bunch of gay/les's in the street holding up flags and making out. he turned around to me and just said..."oh my god, its the hivs!" (HIV) i got really upset knowing that he doesnt know and would make fun of them like that. but then his neighboors both which are a lesbian couple, is the nicest person to the world to them. doesnt phase him or think anything of it, ya know?? i just dont know how he would react. heh. i mean....i dont want my whole family against me. =[ but, now that i know for sure im starting to 'hook up' and date other girls. and i really want to be in a relationship right now with somebody, but it would just be hard getting around, ya know??
how do i tell my parents?? what do i say?!?!?!

help please!!!!!! =]

Sounds like a tricky situation... maybe just sit them down in a serious conversation, and just tell them, but make sure you tell them that you're still the same person they know, and you know they'll support you etc. My sister was at uni when she came out, she just sent my parents a letter explaining, she was worried how they'd react, but they were fine with it... but my family's not religious or anything...

I'd say just be up-front, but tactful. Also, if they are still a bit weird about it, maybe avoid flaunting any of your girlfriends in front of them for a while til they get used to the idea. Good luck!

I agree with Meander sweetie. I hope your parents understand. They shouldn't mind if they just want you to be happy. I f my son or daughter came home with that news I would be so pleased they were happy and sorted, as Meander says, you are still the same person, nothing changes - good luck, sending you courage and love, jinnyann xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Sorry i can't give you any advice.But i wish you luck.

I guess I have a somewhat differing opinion on this...what benefit would your parents gain by knowing now vs. what possible outcomes could happen.

You have concerns of no place to go...when do you turn 18? When 18 will you be done with high school? Do you have a job? Would it support you getting an efficiency apt or living with a friend?

Prepare for the worst and hope for the best...so I guess my answer is what just a little longer so if the worst does happen you are in a better position to fend for yourself.

This may seem against my normal advice of having a candid sit down conversation...however...part of that is picking the right time. Maybe the right time is when you can answer the questions from above...

If I were in such a situation I'd not 'come out' just now. Until I can be certain I have a place to live. Because worst case scenario you're kicked out of your parents' home. Me thinks it's not worth the risk. Hook up and date all you want, but keep it between you and your date. No need to tell parents just yet. I'm with Direction on that one.

hey, i had the same problem when i as about 17. the way i did it was i told everyone one at a time, my mom was ok with it, my father was already passed away, but, he was bisexual so... the worst came from my sister whos way older than me... she disowned me and said i couldnt see her kids and all that. her oldest son stood up 4 me and my sister eventually got over it... my advice is... just tell them, thel them that you need to tell them who you are, not who they think you are or who they want you to be... that you dont want to hide it anylonger and that they r ur family and you shouldnt feel that you have to hide anything from them, and to your mother..... God still loves you, he wouldnt refuse to love you or love you any less for loving a creature that he created.... advice from one lesbian 2 another.................... butterflies002

Why do you feel you need to? That is a personal decision and personal actions, and really doesn't involve them, imo.

You appear to have already told your mom at least. Is it validation you're seeking? It doesn't sound like she is going to give it to you.

I don't understand why saying a guy (on the street) is cute would be a lie because you follow such a lifestyle. Why wouldn't guys or gals be cute or not just because they are cute or not?

TC of yourself. I don't think now is a good time to make a statement. (((hugs)))

Wow, this sounds like a tough one. Be proud of who you are regardless of what anyone else tells you! I have never understood the 'issue' surrounding homosexuality. I'm sorry I'm not able to offer much support, but I wish you all the best.

I'm a 21 year old bisexual and still have yet to come out to my family. I found that for my particular situation, it's not necessary. I found my bisexuality to not be significant to my life in the sense that I need to be confessional about it. It's as much a part of me as having blonde hair and brown eyes, but I don't need to announce it to the world, either.

It sounds like a very different situation for you, though, especially being a lesbian with parents who might have caught on. And ESPECIALLY b/c you'll never have a boyfriend, so questions are more likely to be raised.

If you believe it's going to eat you alive if you don't tell them, then you must sit them down and have a talk. Not to scare you or anything, but I would advise having a close friend on call, just in case your family ousts you.

Or, maybe you can wait. Do you plan on going to college? Maybe you should join the Gay/Lesbian group there and get advice from them. Are there Gay/Lesbian groups that meet in your neighborhood? Maybe you can get advice on this from them, too.

Hands down, though, don't go about this alone. Have friends to back you up, a support group with experience in this realm that's given you advice, and make sure those who are willing to support you will be there for you during this trying time, no matter what happens.

Best of luck babe.