[LiteraryLark]

Everyone tells me I'm beautiful and radiate natural beauty and I'm repeatedly told I don't need makeup and I look good with any hair color other than black, but neither guys nor girls want to date me. I have full dark eyebrows, long dark lashes, beautiful blue eyes, perfect lips and nose, but I have never had a relationship. Sex, yes, but always on their terms (yes, I have always consented but I mean they tell me what to do and few have asked if I'm enjoying it).

I've always been jealous of my brother because he is both ridiculously good looking and extremely charismatic. I swear to god my brother is a Brad Pitt lookalike and I'm this ugly troll with "natural beauty". Ever since he was little my parents would say, "all the chicks dig D" and no one has ever taken a second glance at me. I understand why all the girls flock to him and why he's such a chick magnet. Meanwhile I'm socially awkward and I rarely act my age around people I like. I'm very mature but I feel like when I'm with someone I like I act childish. I'm very forward, open, and honest with people I like and I'm not afraid to ask them out or if they're interested in me, but for me I want to be with someone who's not afraid to be a total dork and be goofy weirdos when we're together. I think I can be off-putting because I'm very open about my sexuality and my fantasies involve gay men and I would like to use a strap on with my partner one day whether it be a man or a woman, and maybe they don't get that it's just a fantasy and I want to be with someone who can reciprocate romantic feelings.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess it's just a rant. But why can't I get anyone to like me?

[divine1966]

I saw your pictures on here, I think you are pretty.

Well I wouldnt be telling strangers about your fantasies. It would be off putting since they don't even know you.

Since you are bi (at least that's how it sounds) are there any places that you can meet like minded people? Clubs? Bars?

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

Everyone tells me I'm beautiful and radiate natural beauty and I'm repeatedly told I don't need makeup and I look good with any hair color other than black, but neither guys nor girls want to date me. I have full dark eyebrows, long dark lashes, beautiful blue eyes, perfect lips and nose, but I have never had a relationship. Sex, yes, but always on their terms (yes, I have always consented but I mean they tell me what to do and few have asked if I'm enjoying it).

I've always been jealous of my brother because he is both ridiculously good looking and extremely charismatic. I swear to god my brother is a Brad Pitt lookalike and I'm this ugly troll with "natural beauty". Ever since he was little my parents would say, "all the chicks dig D" and no one has ever taken a second glance at me. I understand why all the girls flock to him and why he's such a chick magnet. Meanwhile I'm socially awkward and I rarely act my age around people I like. I'm very mature but I feel like when I'm with someone I like I act childish. I'm very forward, open, and honest with people I like and I'm not afraid to ask them out or if they're interested in me, but for me I want to be with someone who's not afraid to be a total dork and be goofy weirdos when we're together. I think I can be off-putting because I'm very open about my sexuality and my fantasies involve gay men and I would like to use a strap on with my partner one day whether it be a man or a woman, and maybe they don't get that it's just a fantasy and I want to be with someone who can reciprocate romantic feelings.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess it's just a rant. But why can't I get anyone to like me?

You must be scaring them off or making them not think of you in a long-term relationship way.

Stop being so brutally open about your sexual fantasies until the relationship has really materialized.

[LiteraryLark]

see following comment.............................

[LiteraryLark]

Why should I not be open with my sexual fantasies if I want to be in a committed relationship with someone who shares the same sexual interests?

I don't talk about sexual fantasies on the first date. Most of the time I don't say anything at all until I get to know them. These guys aren't one night stands, they've been people I'd date for a couple weeks and then after we have sex they tell me "they've got a lot going on right now and they're not ready for that kind of commitment."

I just don't get why they back out after sex. Why lead me on?

[~Christina]

I think your adorable !

Maybe date them a bit longer before sex ?

Some guys might just wanna hit it and move on.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I think your adorable !

Maybe date them a bit longer before sex ?

Some guys might just wanna hit it and move on.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you.

I just don't like when guys say they'd want a relationship but then after sex they change their mind. It makes me feel awful.

[~Christina]

Been there done that. Never fun.

You will find someone great , be picky

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

Why should I not be open with my sexual fantasies if I want to be in a committed relationship with someone who shares the same sexual interests?

I don't talk about sexual fantasies on the first date. Most of the time I don't say anything at all until I get to know them. These guys aren't one night stands, they've been people I'd date for a couple weeks and then after we have sex they tell me "they've got a lot going on right now and they're not ready for that kind of commitment."

I just don't get why they back out after sex. Why lead me on?

They backed out because they weren't interested in dating you, just sex and then move on. You can't really say you get to know them, but how is it possible? In few weeks? They maybe says they wanted a relationship but their actions of jumping into bed quickly, speak otherwise

If you want a relationship, i highly recommend that you don't sleep with people after just few weeks but establish close relationship first.

Date them for couple of months. If they insist on jumping into bed quickly then here is your sign that they aren't serious about you. Men and women who really are into you would want to get to know you very well and build a relationship first.

You'll find someone. You are intelligent and sweet and cute, just don't sell yourself short

[yagr]

"Am I not pretty enough?"

I have absolutely no idea what you look like - I've not seen a picture and self-descriptions don't paint a picture for me, but I would emphatically say that you are more than pretty enough. In fact, if you make a connection with the right person, he or she will think you're the prettiest person on the planet.

[TishaBuv]

Could there be something happening during sex that turns them off? (Visions of you jamming a foreign object somewhere, lol)

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Could there be something happening during sex that turns them off? (Visions of you jamming a foreign object somewhere, lol)

lol I spit my coffee. I think she just fantasizes, not like she actually does it to people.

[healingme4me]

I am floored about asking if you are pretty enough. Of course you are! And it's apples and oranges comparing your experience to your brother's experience.

I'm thinking long and hard about how long I knew people before jumping into bed. Aside from my ex husband, I knew each of them for some time and each of them ended up being long term. Not saying that there's some formula. Most men are interested in spicing it up in the bedroom regardless so that needn't be a right out of the starting line declaration.

But gaining a long term lover isn't this question that you are asking. There's has to be some type of relationship first.

[laffer75]

You will find someone:-). I'm sure you are very pretty and intelligent and someday will meet your match

[TishaBuv]

I've seen your photo. You are very pretty and intelligent. It's not that you are not pretty, I'm sure. Plus, plenty of homely women find love.

I haven't seen your photo.... But what I will say, is that YES, you are "pretty enough".

Have you ever noticed how there are some very average women who have men flocking to them? And on the flip side, there are "beautiful" women who may get dates, but they can't seem to find a good guy to settle down with?

It all boils down to personality. Of course looks are the first thing that someone else notices, but if you don't have a good personality and a positive attitude, you could be the most beautiful woman in the world and still have a problem attracting the right kind of guys.

I know its hard to put on that happy face sometimes. I know it can be hard to socialize and meet new people. Sometimes it is about faking it until you make it.

[LiteraryLark]

Thank you to all who've shared their input.

I don't think it's the men who is the problem. I think it is me. I have a very high sex drive for a woman plus bipolar so I crave sex but ultimately I want a relationship. Perhaps I have a horrid thinking that sex could lead to a relationship, but I know that a relationship should ideally come before sex. However, I'm horrified of Tinder because I do want to get to know the person before I have sex with them and I ultimately want a relationship rather than a one night stand.

I will list in detail my sexual partners and perhaps potential partners and maybe you can see the flaws I have.

My first two sexual encounters were with gay men. Obviously, there was no romance, but it was my fantasy and it was their curiosity of wanting the experience. They were very close friends that I had known for years and we knew that it would be only a sexual encounter with someone we trusted and cared about and to be honest was the best sex I've ever had.

Then there was E, who was someone I had a crush on since high school. We hooked up at a party and afterwards he told me he was not into a relationship. Last year we hooked up again but again, he was not into a relationship as he was fresh out of an abusive relationship. Honestly, if he pops up again I will not have sex with him again unless he wants a relationship.

Then there was a girl and her boyfriend that I had a threesome with. She was a coworker who approached me about wanting a threesome and it got ugly when her bf became psychotically jealous and she quit her job and I never saw her again.

Then there was T, who we intended to have a relationship with each other. The first time he told me the commute was too far, the second time he was distraught because his dog died.

Then there was

Then there was N, a current coworker of mine, he wanted a relationship but suffers from depression and called it off.

[laffer75]

Wow, you're life is way more I interesting than mine!

[TishaBuv]

Why was the sex with the gay men the best you ever had? Were they just good in bed or was it something emotional for you?

I had a gay best friend in high school. I was attracted to him and wanted to have sex with him, but he wouldn't, said I didn't turn him on.

[LiteraryLark]

I think there is one guy who only put the tip in and I told him to stop....I only remember this guy because I got a yeast infection afterwards but I don't remember his name or what he looked like except he has shoulder length dark brown hair maybe curly and he was a military vet...but I honestly thought there was at least one more. I'm rather ashamed I can't remember these details.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Why was the sex with the gay men the best you ever had? Were they just good in bed or was it something emotional for you?

I had a gay best friend in high school. I was attracted to him and wanted to have sex with him, but he wouldn't, said I didn't turn him on.

Could be the ultimate fantasy I have of gay men, but what was so great was we were so close and we laughed our butts off the entire time and we were both on the same level of experience and trust. It was truly special for the both of us.

[LiteraryLark]

And yes I had a gay best friend from high school who would flirt and makeout with me but sex was not an option, but he would always turn me on on purpose.

[TishaBuv]

I know what you're saying. They are unthreatening. I am intimidated by stocky, muscular, manly men, and mostly liked slight men that didn't over power me.

[laffer75]

Life sure is strange

[laffer75]

Anyways I wish I was young like you and had these experiences