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#1
Jul 12, 2004, 05:42 PM
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I have a promblem...My husband is one of 13 and in the recent years there has been a few deaths in his family including his Mother. She led a long life.. But there is a Sister and for the 20 yrs I have been in the family They have all babied her...Alot due to the fact of his Mother saying that Sandi needs help...
Help yes....She is a drunk and a thief... This winter after the death of his Mother another sister showed up with her 13 yr old girl and we let them stay here..This sister is eating Xanx and drinking stright wiskey and can't move off the couch....Well, while she was here here comes Sandi...I told my husband that they had to go. But being family he let them stay.. In the time they were here my wedding rings came up missing and other things in the house also came up missing... And still they would not leave... So, I packed my stuff and left. He finally made them leave. So, I came back home... Bev is fine she eats her pills and drinks and stays away. Sandi has lost her home her daugher and has no job. And moved in with these people who are more or less treating her like a slave. But this is her choice to lay drunk.. She called me the other night and said, I want to come home...I said. You have no home....She said...I need my family and I want to come home....I told her NO WAY....She was not comming back in my home! When I told my husband this his heart is breaking for his sister...I can see in his eyes that he will let her come here if he gets the chance to talk to her. I intercept these calls so that she doesn't get the chance. But in case she does what the heck will I do If he lets her in my home.... I know family is family....But I can't take this anymore and I will have to pack and leave if she shows up at my door....She refuses treatment so in my eyes there is no help for her till she helps her self..... am I wrong for this thinking? |
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#2
Jul 12, 2004, 05:59 PM
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I don't know where you live, but most United Way agencies can refer you to shelters for people with alcohol and drug addictions.
Call them and see what info they can give you. Also, there is such a thing call "Pressing changes" just in case she comes and things turn out missing gab
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gab |
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#3
Jul 12, 2004, 08:53 PM
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Keep strong girl....I had a brother who was similar in disrupting my family growing up. If you have kids in the house it is not fair to them to have the burden of a drug using family member. Your sister-n-law could also attract trouble to your home. Having gone through this with a brother, I feel tough love is the only way. And yes, there might be Pathways or Uran Ministry who can help your homeless SNL and her child. It is so hard, but knowing that she is there for the taking should help you stay strong.
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#4
Jul 13, 2004, 12:02 AM
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yes that is what i am doing is the tough love.....it is so much easier for me but for him it hurts.....like i told her.....i let my brother stay here and he stole from me and he is no longer welcome in my home and neither is she..... she said, that i am mean to her.... i told her no i just don't put up with her ******....
if she wants to lay in the gutter than so be it... I went an begged for her a place to stay this winter so i wouldn't have to throw her out on the streets and even borrowed 100 dollars (my husband and I wan't working) for the deposit on a room at the Y and she left there and drank the l00 dollars up.... Then she called and wanted to come stay here again. I am just scared if my husband talks to her he won't be tuff on her.... |
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#5
Jul 13, 2004, 12:33 PM
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Kathy,
This is going to sound horrible and I do not mean it to. Some people can only be helped so far. It is very obvious that your family has done so much to try to help to no avail. I mean you tried to give her money for a room deposit and she used it for alcohol. I am a believer that you can be supportive to the extent that your like is not in danger of having problems. I hope that she does decide to take control over her life. Because in the end she is the one who needs to help herself. Jessica <font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>
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"Though she knows well he doesn't listen. There's still a hope in her he might." |
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#6
Jul 13, 2004, 02:44 PM
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Sometimes they have to hit rock buttom to smell the roses, if you know what I mean.
gab
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gab |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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