Am I a bad person or is he guilt-tripping me?

I have been married for almost two years, and I want a divorce but he says he doesn't.

I cheated on him, once, last year, and he constantly (like, more than once a day) brings it up to fight with me about it. I already apologized a million times for it, and I don't know what more I can do.

He was arrested last year, and he wrote me many times from jail, telling me he wanted a divorce and he never wanted to see me again. So, I got on with my life. I dated some men and had physical relationships with them. I was honest with my husband when he got out of jail and he said he wanted to get back together. I told him that I had been with other men, because I hadn't heard from him in six months, and the last I heard, he never wanted to see me again.

Is it fair for him to say that I was cheating on him while he was in jail?

I thought we were headed for divorce, and at the very least, we were unofficially separated. I don't think it is fair for him to demand that I put my life on hold, when I had no reasonable expectation that we were going to get back together.

He fights with me constantly about my "cheating," and I don't know what to do, since I don't consider myself to have cheated while he was away.

Should I feel guilty? Is he right?

Either way, how do I go about resolving this issue once and for all? I am so tired of being called a "lady of the night," cheater, liar, etc. I have been truthful to a fault.

I am so sick of arguing with him about this, I literally could tear all my hair out.

I'm kind of be fuzzled as to why you got back together with him in the first place.
HE wrote you that he wanted a divorce and didn't want to see you, then broke contact with you all together.

How are you a bad person for moving on with your life? I just don't see it.

Ask yourself where is this going? Do you you honestly see a future with this man?

He's not right and you shouldn't feel guilty. You could try couples counseling if you want to stick it out or tell him that you've apologized and it's time to move on and you can't be with him if he continues to throw it in your face. Good luck.

Hey gypped.
Sounds like you moved on while he was in jail, as you have every right to do when your partner tells you he wants nothing to do with you anymore.
But why did you get back together?

If I'm gonna be honest, this guy sounds like absolute garbage and you deserve better. Like you said; you've already apologized, for something you probably don't even need to apologize for at all. The fact that he keeps dangling guilt over you shows that he wants to control you, and he seems very deeply insecure. I think it's best to just give him what he wanted in jail and leave him for good.

Blue, those last 2 statements are beyond your knowledge.
I understand many of us feel strongly about certain situations, but let’s try to not superimpose our own preconceptions onto someone else’s experience.

Tell him if you should feel guilty about sex when you were separated, he should feel guilty about jail when you were together.

I think you have no reason to feel guilty at all (and yes, he's probably guilt-tripping you..). Move on with your life, you deserve better..

I agree with the others - no reason to feel guilty, you've done nothing wrong, you didn't cheat since the relationship was over and you were on the road to divorce. He is guilt tripping you, which is not fair, and is not taking any responsibility for telling you it was over. I agree with Jennifer's advice -- either he drops it and moves on, or you're going to have to leave. I wouldn't accept his infantile behavior. ((((Hugs))))