Do people who have money in the bank dislike people who haven't?

I don't think of myself as a "have not." My income is small, but I feel that my needs are met. I even have cable TV and high-speed Internet. I feel very secure that I'll always have a roof over my head and good food to eat, etc. But I have no money in the bank.

I used to be quite close to my siblings. I live far away from them. One has a gift delivered to me on my birthday, but never calls me. She has money in the bank. I'm wondering if she is distancing herself from me because of the difference in our economic status. This just occurred to me two weeks ago. Now I feel so dumb for not thinking of this sooner.

A lot of people here at PC are just getting by. Do any of you think that relatives with money dislike you because you're a lot less well off? This came to me like a bolt of lightning. I feel so stupid for not realizing this sooner.

I don't try to get my better off sister to give me anything. I've never been one to ask family for anything. She started sending me an annual gift on my birthday. I don't know why she started doing that. Meanwhile, months go by with no word. Basically, I just don't hear from her. Two or three times a year, I'll phone her. But she never phones me. So I'm not going to be phoning her anymore. I feel stupid calling someone who never calls me.

I was all mystified. Then the light went on! Like: bang! I had this epiphany: people with money don't want to get involved with people who live hand to mouth.

So, now, I'm really mad. I thought we had a deeper bond. Now I'm angry that she sends this annual gift. It's just phoney. So I am not going to call her. If she sends me some mail order gift again on my next birthday, I'm going to donate it to a charity thrift shop. Or I might just throw it away.

If she had totally ignored me for years, I'ld have gotten the message and written off the relationship as a lost cause. And I'ld have gotten over it by now. But I kept waiting for things to be okay. There were some family tensions ten years ago - not caused by me. I strove mightily not to aggravate those tensions. People were mad at each other, and I just wanted to not be on bad terms with any of the parties concerned. It was the classic "who inherited what" that tears families apart. It was ugly and sickened me. Inheriting stuff was never important to me. I proved that to all concerned. I just wanted to not have sibling bonds destroyed. A few years later, it seemed that an ugly time would receed into the past.

More tragedy came along, and it seemed people's basic decency was coming to the fore. I thought healing was underway. And I was glad. Now I'm in a tough period of my life. I don't need any money from anyone for anything. My s.o. is sick and we have what we need materially. But a sister I thought cared never calls to say, "How's he doing? How are you doing?" And it's like a brick hitting me in the head that someone I thought was a friend has withdrawn from having any real connection to me. There are others who do stay very connected. I guess you can't win 'em all.

I guess people have different values. This sister is more different from me than I had any idea. I don't see any way to make sense of this than to think she is just way shallower than I had any idea. Money is important to her. She told me that. She might fear that I could become a drain on her.