Online Dating: A Nightmare or a Good Way to Meet People?

One thing to make clear -- music is my life! I live for music, so not having similar tastes is a total dealbreaker for me. I see live music at least 2-3 times a week!!! It's my lifeblood, so my dream is to find someone who will enjoy this with me! It's SOOO very important to me. Guess we all have different tastes and desires...

now that being said, his character is of upmost importance as well! JUST as important, if not even more important, than music and our passions!

Him having four kids is not a dealbreaker for me. I LOVE kids. Four is a LOT, but I could handle that. Now, I don't know if he ever wants to marry again..... but I may not be of the mindset that I absolutely have to get married. Finding a lifelong committed partner is the most important thing.

I've tried OkCupid, Match.com, eHarmony, and Plenty of Fish.

About 98% of my online dating experiences were positive. I only had 1 negative experience when a man pretended to be someone else. He had a friend's pic on his profile instead of him. When I met him, he tried to explain why he used a fake pic. I had no time for his B.S. The date ended in
20 seconds. Good riddance.

Ok, there are too many men right now. I don't know how to handle it. I'm talking to several and have gone out on two dates with one. I may just drop a couple communications since it's just too much to keep up with, but then I feel rude just disappearing mid-conversation. People do it all the time online, so what's the difference really, but I hate to hurt ppl's feelings. I feel guilty for disappearing, but I'd rather not tell them that I've lost interest. I don't know how to do this very well.

You’ve never met them so nothing to feel guilty about. You also have to remember that they are likely talking to several women as well.

So, the new guy that I've gone on two dates with sneak surprised me last night. I was at my weekly band at a club, he knew I was going there, and he decides to just show up! I wasn't upset, in fact, I was very happy and pleasantly surprised to see him, and we had an amazing night together, but I wonder if him doing this should be a red flag??

I could have been on a date for all he knew, right? Luckily I wasn't!!! That would have been VERY awkward! But is this crossing boundaries? Or not such a big deal? I'm not even sure!

I’ve met couple of guys in my life who showed up (more than once) unannounced at my house. Luckily I didn’t get too involved with neither one of them beyond few dates but both were jerks.

I personally hate surprises. In my books showing up somewhere in attempt to surprise me is at best annoying.

He could text you and ask if it’s ok he joins you there. If you were on a date, you’d have no need to feel awkward. He is the one who whould have to feel awkward. Why just show up if he could call first? Ask you on a date or ask to join you at the club? Inconsiderate or bad social skills or lack of planning? No idea.

Thanks, Divine! Showing up at one's house is a bit intrusive... and different than showing up at a club I would say!

I've never had this happen so I don't know how to feel! On the one hand, I was really happy to see him and definitely was pleasantly surprised! On the other, he could have asked first, out of consideration, so I am not sure what this says!

Guess I need to see how things unfold further and see if there are any other acts of inconsideration?!? I don't know! I really really really like him so far... I mean, A LOT. I am not getting carried away, but I'm really digging him!!!

I’d ask him directly what was the reason he showed up announced? It might shed some light (was in a neighbourhood? Thought it would be cute? Etc )

Yeah, maybe I'll casually drop it into the conversation when I see him next?! He definitely was not in the neighborhood! This club is a 45 minute drive from where he lives, so he went out of his way to come see me.

I am actually quite flattered that he likes me so much that he wanted to see me sooner than later. That's what he first said when he showed up -- that he couldn't wait until next Tue when we're supposed to get together again. Maybe he's just so excited that he couldn't help himself! lol.

Could be. Just weird he didn’t text first. Could be nothing though. He might think you like surprises and spontaneity. Many women do. It depends what you like. I warn people not to surprise me lol Just keep your eyes open. See how next date goes.

Ok, so another dilemma!! There is one guy that I'm REALLY digging immensely, the one I've been writing about. BUT we've only had two real dates and one impromptu surprise semi-date. I am talking to two other men online whom I have not met yet.

I feel it's too early (three dates in...) to commit to let's say his name is Jim. BUT, I also don't know if I really want to meet up with these two other men because I don't want to let Jim to think I am exploring and not so into him. I also don't want to lie to him.

Is it best to play the field and meet these other two men because it's too early to commit to Jim. or is it best to tell them that I've met someone I want to explore things with? I don't know how to do this!!!!

Meet the other guys for coffee. You're not exclusive yet. Keep your options open until you both decide on exclusivity.

Oh Lordy. I've started online dating and now have a profile on two dating sites.

Yesterday, I had to deal with two different creeps. One wanted to dress me up in specific clothing for our first meeting!!! He suggested I wear my cowgirl hat and boots and perhaps even fishnet stalkings!!! AND sent me a sexy pic of a woman dressed in this way. EW!!! I have to now back out of this meeting.

Another got all pushy with me when I said I was too tired to talk on the phone yesterday, but had to go out to dinner. He said "oh, so you have the energy for dinner, but not to talk to me for a minute?" I had told him I would call tomorrow instead. PUSHY!!!! So, I am backing out of communicating with him!

This is reminding me of the last time I tried to online date, last year. I met someone whose ex wife had gotten a restraining order on him. NO THANK YOU. And someone else who just wanted to drink and party all night. NO THANK YOU AS WELL.

I've met a couple of relatively good men through online dating in the past, but now I am wondering if this really is a good avenue for meeting DECENT people????

People online can pretend to be whomever they want. They often lie and present a facade. People troll, and God knows who is TRULY behind the picture. It's a bit scary in fact to think about WHO you're really talking to and IF they're for real.

But I don't know how else to meet people. I don't have enough money to join singles' clubs and activities that require funds.... except maybe a hiking group.

Has anyone had a positive experience from online dating??? Fallen in love even or met their true match?

My sister met her boyfriend of now four years on Match.com. That's one of the sites I'm on, so I am hoping I, too, can meet a relatively normal, stable and decent person. But right now, I am very wary because of these two men and am doubtful.

You can certainly go on other dates if you only had few dates with “Jim”. But frankly it depends. When I’ve met my husband we didn’t jump into anything and we weren’t intimate for like 3 months (waited on purpose), but we had no interest in dating others. If you have no interest in dating others then don’t force yourself. Yet don’t jump into commintmebts. Is this guy employed? Wants serious relationship? Etc