I think I'm starting to fall apart

PS Sorry if I was being self-centered. I'm sorry that you went through something similar. It seems difficult to trust people in the first place, and then when they turn out to be just willfully untrustworthy, it can be tough to sort out. In the beginning I kept saying, "I just don't understand." Even after I figured out the narcissist thing, "I just...don't understand. Why?"

I was crying in my Ts office last week and said, "I don't understand why this happened to me," and she said but it didn't just happen to you. They are far more prevalent than most people think. I don't know if that really helped me, but it is helpful to know that they are predatory and those of us who have gone through it aren't a special breed of stupid. Like my friend said when I was sitting on a bench in Knoxville, "The only thing you're guilty of here is liking a guy and wanting him to like you back." I'd say the same for you. Only...switch the genders.

self centered? not at all. you're here because you went through this thing recently and when we are in these situations especially questioning yourself it's critical to find people with not only like minds but also understand and support you. that's what you're here for. that I've been through stuff myself does nothing but validate that it's real and does happen.

Unfortunately behavior of this is man is very predicable and not that uncommon. So unfortunate

I'm really sorry you're having this happen. I can commiserate. It's hard when something you've believed in for too long just crumbles away. I've always found comfort in pets. Animals can be much more emotionally available than people usually. Do you have any?

I have had those same horrible heart wrenching fears about everyone just hating me or feeling bad if you were more mean than you meant to be....but you know...we really shouldn't worry that much
You do what you do for a reason...subconsciously you somehow knew this guy was no good...

That is unfair to me. You suggested strongly he never made an effort for you, whereas it is quite clear he did make an effort for you.

He met you and arranged to take time off work so he could be with you. I think I am right in saying he begged you to come down to Knoxsville after you had a fight, when you had already agreed you would come down and he had already arranged to have time to see you where you had the flexibility to go to him because of your job.

When love relationships go bad, people can do some crazy things. I am not defending him as such. I am just pointing out he did make an effort for you. It is not a correct version of your own text to suggest he made no effort for you.

I am not wanting to defend him or attack you. I just think it might be useful to see things as they are and then deal with that.

Iceskater, I’m not going to ask again. I asked once, politely, and now I must insist: Please stop commenting here. You are doing FAR more harm than good. Other commenters and myself have attempted to explain the situation and you choose not to hear it.

If you choose to continue this, I will flag your comments as harassing. Thank you.

You weren’t in that relationship and don’t know greystreet in real life. So if she tells you how her relationship went, it’s not productive or called for to argue that you know better. Arguing that you know how her relationship went better than her isn’t helpful. Plus she asked you to stop. Please respect that.

If you want to have general discussion about people doing crazy things in relationships, you could maybe start your own thread.

Not to mention that he HAS seen the entire story, in the NPD forum (I was discussing it with Atypical_Disaster whom I respect to give incredible insight into the NPD mind). So you can understand why it's suspect to me that saying "I don't understand," and "It's unfair..." and the decision to continue to draw it out is quite suspect to me.

There is no need to draw it out further. For the purposes of this discussion, I think this thread has run its course. I wholeheartedly thank those of you who have participated and have helped me through what was a difficult weekend. At this time, I feel pretty steady and able to continue to move through this. If need be (and I'll probably need it again at some point!), I will post again.

Again, I think this thread has run its course. Thank you.