Friend issues

This behavior is totally uncharacteristic. Sometimes we have gone a while without talking, but one text or call and we pick up right where we left off. No big deal. Last year we were doing regular dinners out together and such. Then I broke down and was hospitalized. While she did visit me in the hospital it was very apparent that she does not understand. Nor has she shown any attempt at understanding (I was diagnosed with borderline in the hospital and bipolar the year before).

I know she is busy because she works full time and has a child. It's not about contact, it's about knowing how that goes. I do not think this is a BPD reaction. I asked my husband who also is friends with her and he agreed with me. He even offered to contact her and ask her about what's going on, but I declined. I do not want issues between her and I to interfere with their relationship.

I reached out to her twice. She told me she was busy. I suppressed my BPD reactions through skills learned in therapy. I am uber proud of that and to be growing as a person. In the end I blocked her on facebook at my phone because that is what I felt I needed to do. I'm very hurt but I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to see her logging onto facebook 10 times a day while shes "too busy" to tell me if she wants to be my friend.

I don't know if its done for ever or just on pause. I'll have to see how it plays out. If she wants to reach me, she most definitely can. Otherwise it is what it is. So many years of great memories. I remember when she was diagnosed with cancer. I went to the doctors appointment with her and grilled her doctor. We left and went to mcdonalds. It was what she needed. We laughed and we cried. I told her if she had to shave her head I would shave mine too and I meant it. I love her like family and I will always be here if she changes her mind.

Thank you for the clarification. I hope you understand that my asking those questions was because I didn't feel like I had the context of the situation so that helps.

There probably is something going on but there is a good chance it's not about you but something that's got her stressed or has her attention enough that possibly she wasn't entirely hearing you fully. it's been a 20 year friendship so I do believe it's probably unlikely that her inability to attend to you right now means its an end to the friendship.

Hang in there. Give it a good amount of time, because I am sure this is a very important relationship to you. don't make any rash decisions to end things or act impulsively...

I’m so glad you did not reach out to her again. I had a similar situation when I was first diagnosed. We were friends since middle school. She stopped returning calls and text messages. I knew we had not fought about anything. She just couldn’t deal with me having a mental illness. You are strong.....keep your head up. It’s her loss. Now I’ll be honest I was hurt but I did not try to go begging for her friendship. It was only meant to be for a season and not a lifetime.

Thank you sincerely for this.

TSG you are such an awesome person. Make better friends, like you deserve. Message me anytime. Ok, maybe you don't deserve me as a friend, nobody needs or deserves "this," but I'm here anyway.

((((((( TheSadGirl ))))))))