suspended from work until further notice

Jul 04, 2018, 11:54 AM

Yes but the fact that I stayed with the employer for 5.5 years makes it a little better.

seesaw · Jul 04, 2018, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby2011

Yes but the fact that I stayed with the employer for 5.5 years makes it a little better.

How does getting fired after 5.5 years for cause make anything better?

12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby2011

Yes but the fact that I stayed with the employer for 5.5 years makes it a little better.

Ruby, you've been fired from your last two jobs. Please talk to your counselor about how to handle your emotions better and be more professional at work.

healingme4me · Jul 04, 2018, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby2011

No, I went back to work for another former employer.

Well, that's good news, right? That you've returned back to work.

Jul 05, 2018, 05:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seesaw

Ruby, you say she always smiled and said hi; HOWEVER, you were given instructions to stop the behavior and a chance to change your behavior, before you were ever fired, and you CHOOSE to disobey those instructions.

You did not become crazy since March because of what happened at the fast food joint. You exhibited the same disobedient, unprofessional behavior at both jobs. The fact that your boss at the Sam's Club job said you were acting better is moot, since you yourself said you broke a lot of rules, they just didn't know.

So you've got a new job now. That's great. Learn from the mistakes you have made at Sam's and the fast food joint and just obey the rules. In all of these jobs, the reason you ended up getting fired was your failure to follow rules or instructions. You were told to stop coming in when you weren't scheduled at the fast food job, and you continued to do so, so you got fired. You were told not to swear on the sales floor at Sam's, you did anyways, you were suspended, possibly fired. If you obey all the rules, you should be fine. If you make a mistake and are given a warning, then obey the warning, and you should be fine. It is not rocket science to follow rules.

The fast food supervisor who smiled and said hi didn't actually tell me not to continue my behavior until the very end. By then, she was already very angry. I was bewildered bc I never knew it was a problem to show up all the time on my days off to see her. And then I continued to show up 3 more times, which was a mistake. I was then let go.

At Sam's Club, my supervisor said I was behaving professionally before March. I really wasn't doing anything bad then. After March, I did all sorts of things she didn't know about. She only knew about 2 incidents (swearing on the salesfloor and crying on salesfloor), out of countless. That was enough for consequences to happen.

Jul 05, 2018, 05:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seesaw

How does getting fired after 5.5 years for cause make anything better?

Because it leaves a better impression than if you were fired after just a few months. However, if you did something really bad (e.g. showing up wasted), it would not leave a better impression no matter how long you stayed. That's an exception.

My coworker from McDonald's where I worked back in 2009 been canned for her outside life interfering with work. She had since been rehired. Another coworker at Walmart been fired bc a manager didn't like him for no good reason. He has also been rehired. I'm back at McDonald's after 8 long years bc my records said I quit and nothing else.

divine1966 · Jul 05, 2018, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby2011

The fast food supervisor who smiled and said hi didn't actually tell me not to continue my behavior until the very end. By then, she was already very angry. I was bewildered bc I never knew it was a problem to show up all the time on my days off to see her. And then I continued to show up 3 more times, which was a mistake. I was then let go.

At Sam's Club, my supervisor said I was behaving professionally before March. I really wasn't doing anything bad then. After March, I did all sorts of things she didn't know about. She only knew about 2 incidents (swearing on the salesfloor and crying on salesfloor), out of countless. That was enough for consequences to happen.

She likely knew about all other issues. You can’t behave poorly in hopes that management doesn’t know. They usually do know.

seesaw · Jul 05, 2018, 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby2011

The fast food supervisor who smiled and said hi didn't actually tell me not to continue my behavior until the very end. By then, she was already very angry. I was bewildered bc I never knew it was a problem to show up all the time on my days off to see her. And then I continued to show up 3 more times, which was a mistake. I was then let go.

At Sam's Club, my supervisor said I was behaving professionally before March. I really wasn't doing anything bad then. After March, I did all sorts of things she didn't know about. She only knew about 2 incidents (swearing on the salesfloor and crying on salesfloor), out of countless. That was enough for consequences to happen.

Ruby, it doesn't matter WHEN she told you to stop. You were told to stop the behavior and you continued it. Again, as I said, obey the rules and instructions and this will stop happening.

07:58 AM

I’ve been following this whole thread, keeping quiet and it’s driving me nuts. Good grief-it’s like beating a dead horse.
Ruby, it’s simple. Go to work. Do your job. Keep your head down. Act like the adult that you are. Don’t run to supervisors if someone does not want to be your friend. Don’t show up on your days off waiting around for people. If you make friends at work, schedule activities with said friends after working hours when convenient for everyone and meet up somewhere. Don’t call anybody mom or nurse or make statements similar to those of a small child in hopes that people will think it’s cute. It’s not cute.

It’s all really very simple. You are there to do a job. So do your job, do it well, follow the rules, collect your paycheck on pay day and that’s it.

Now I’m done.

seesaw · Jul 05, 2018, 07:51 AM

Rose76 · Jul 05, 2018, 10:33 PM

Ruby, normally the usual advice would be for you to sit down with your case worker or counselor and talk about better ways to handle your emotional responses. In your case, I don't think that will do any good. You've been there, done that. There is nothing lacking in your level of intelligence. You simply disregard any line of reasoning that doesn't show you how to get what you want out of people.

You will continue to lose jobs and have little luck making friends. People will want friendship with you only if they believe you care about them. You talk like a person who only cares about the effect things will have on you. That can lead to great loneliness in years to come. When it happens, you won't even realize how you brought it on yourself.

scorpiosis37 · Jul 06, 2018, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

Ruby, normally the usual advice would be for you to sit down with your case worker or counselor and talk about better ways to handle your emotional responses. In your case, I don't think that will do any good. You've been there, done that. There is nothing lacking in your level of intelligence. You simply disregard any line of reasoning that doesn't show you how to get what you want out of people.

You will continue to lose jobs and have little luck making friends. People will want friendship with you only if they believe you care about them. You talk like a person who only cares about the effect things will have on you. That can lead to great loneliness in years to come. When it happens, you won't even realize how you brought it on yourself.

I think Rose has good insight into your situation. The fact that we have pointed out the ways in which you are hurting other people— and your only response is to counter by saying how you feel victimized— demonstrates a lack of empathy. Maybe talking with your counselor about empathy might be helpful. Are you able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes or care about how others feel? Or, if not, is it something you might want to learn or explore?

divine1966 · Jul 06, 2018, 05:29 AM

People with ASD often have harder time understanding what other people might feel or how something might effect other person. That’s very very common for people on a spectrum regardless of their level of intelligence. In addition if a person has PD her ability to regulate emotions and impulses is impaired.

BUT it doesn’t mean people cannot learn what kind of behaviors are appropriate. Even if something doesn’t come naturally, it doesn’t mean it can’t be learned.

Unfortunately something is preventing ruby from learning it all these years.

Jul 06, 2018, 01:29 PM

All I have to do is
1. Not stalk people
2. Not screw around
3. Not have anger outbursts or emotional meltdowns.

Frankly, everything I've ever did wrong at work fell into these 3 categories. I done nothing wrong outside the 3 categories. For instance, my attendance is perfect, I work hard, and I'm nice to everyone.

unaluna · Jul 06, 2018, 01:39 PM

I had a hard time learning these things. And i didnt have the support of my family - in fact, they actively tried to sabotage me. I think its great that ruby has an employment counselor and everyones support here to help her figure these things out.

Buffy01 · Jul 06, 2018, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whispershadow

Stalking anyone is bad though

I agreed! It not fun being stalked by someone! It make a victim on edge, terrified to leave their homes and stay in their homes, go to work. It exhausting!

Buffy01 · Jul 06, 2018, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby2011

All I have to do is
1. Not stalk people
2. Not screw around
3. Not have anger outbursts or emotional meltdowns.

Frankly, everything I've ever did wrong at work fell into these 3 categories. I done nothing wrong outside the 3 categories. For instance, my attendance is perfect, I work hard, and I'm nice to everyone.

Sometimes people who are severely lonely don't start out or intended to stalk someone and sometimes people who and up stalking someone don't necessarily realized they are stalking someone until it is to late. Have you thought about asking your therapist to help you deal with certain emotion so you have a better coping skills, or help you figured out what causing you to stalk someone?

Buffy01 · Jul 06, 2018, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buffy01

Sometimes people who are severely lonely don't start out or intended to stalk someone and sometimes people who and up stalking someone don't necessarily realized they are stalking someone until it is to late. Have you thought about asking your therapist to help you deal with certain emotion so you have a better coping skills, or help you figured out what causing you to stalk someone?

Did you ever had to go to court and explain to a judge why your stalking someone?

TishaBuv · Jul 06, 2018, 08:31 PM

I can relate to you when you say you just need to try not to have emotional outbursts. It’s easier said than done. I gave myself that same pep talk, but when triggered by what causes me those outbursts, I really can’t control my emotions. I have to avoid those triggers.

Medusax · Jul 06, 2018, 09:02 PM

THIS.......... is why I don't work with the public.

eskielover · Jul 07, 2018, 01:27 AM

I doun't understand why your case worker& support people don't find a job for you where you could really fit in & not a job working with the public. Something that works with your ASD.

The_little_didgee · Jul 07, 2018, 05:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

Why do disability services recommend someone with such social skills deficiencies work in customer service type of jobs? There are ton of jobs that require minimum interactions with general public.

I have noticed this as well. It appears that people think customer service type jobs are generic and can be suitable for all personality types which is BS. There is no such job.

I'm an introverted lady living with ASD and GAD who is registered with a disability employment service. The suggested jobs the job developer provided were almost all customer service, because I have no experience and not much education.

The world is made for the confident, cheery, and charismatic extrovert. This was proven to me when I applied for a job in a machine shop deburring parts. It required no experience at all, but because I was quiet in the interview, the owner decided I wouldn't fit in with his team. I'm always quiet around strangers. Once I get to know people I open up. It just takes time. Some people cannot cope with quiet people.

Ruby2011, do you get obsessed with people? I've noticed that some people with ASD struggle with this and really suffer because of it. It is their 'special interest'.

WishfulThinker66 · Jul 08, 2018, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Ruby2011, do you get obsessed with people? I've noticed that some people with ASD struggle with this and really suffer because of it. It is their 'special interest'.

well said and just what was on my own mind

Rose76 · Jul 08, 2018, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby2011

All I have to do is
1. Not stalk people
2. Not screw around
3. Not have anger outbursts or emotional meltdowns.

Frankly, everything I've ever did wrong at work fell into these 3 categories. I done nothing wrong outside the 3 categories. For instance, my attendance is perfect, I work hard, and I'm nice to everyone.

So is that your plan?

Do you feel like you don't really need further advice?

It sounds like you've gotten impatient with what you are reading here. But I have a feeling you'll be posting another thread within a few months telling us that something has gone wrong, and it will be a problem similar to those you've had. "All I have to do . . . " sounds like you think you've got it all figured out. Somehow I don't think you are really willing to alter your approach in how you interact with others. I'm not hearing where you have any motivation to change.

Most of us have some basic tendency that we struggle with all our lives to try and correct. That's how human nature is. None of us succeeds in becoming completely who we wish we were. We have victories and we have setbacks. I think you will too.

unaluna · Jul 08, 2018, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

So is that your plan?
Do you feel like you don't really need further advice?

I think Ruby is just trying to condense all this advice into easy to read lists of "Continue To-Do's" and "Don't's", which i think is an excellent idea.

Menu

suspended from work until further notice

My Support Forums