suspended from work until further notice

None of her employers have asked her about the stalking though. The stalking and being hired at a new job have nothing to do with each other at this time. It's also not illegal for them to ask why an employee was let go, not even in Alabama. However, most HR departments will not say why they let an employee go due to potential defamation suits. But none of her former employers have shared this information with potential employers, so I don't know why this would come up.

If you stop behaving in a way that causes others pain, then they won’t have to take action to protect themselves and, in turn, you will feel less pain also. Since you know what it’s like to feel pain, do you have a desire to stop causing others pain too? The only reason the supervisor and co-worker are taking action against you is because you are hurting them and they are trying to get it to stop. If you can learn to stop causing others pain, you will actually spare yourself pain in the process.

Buffy I agree that some people get falsely accused. But that’s not the case here. Ruby described what she did on many threads and it’s stalking. She was warned by employer and by her case worker. Firing was last resort because she wouldn’t stop. She has nothing to sue anyone about

To my knowledge no one on a second job asked her about the previous job

That depends on a lot on the state that individuals is in. In Arkansas a person has to prove there is reason for stalking and they don't always give out a restraining order. It depends on a lot with whether or not it is the right to work state whether they can discus why a person was fire or any legal trouble without a court order. At least that is how it is in my home state.

But this is a moot point. Her former employer hasn't spoken to anyone about her. So how would she have any legal recourse against them? Also, she was threatened with a restraining order, they didn't take one out yet. I'm really not at all understanding why this is part of the conversation. It has absolutely no bearing on Ruby's situation with her current suspension, which is at a different employer and has nothing to do with her former supervisor.

Also, you can't sue anyone for threatening to get a restraining order. I can threaten to sue anyone I like, you can't sue me for saying I'm going to sue someone. That's protected free speech.

You seem to be lumping the threat of a restraining order together with some kind of libel, which it isn't.

Buffy....

Ruby’s threads go back to 2012 about her problems with employment, I’m sure you just haven’t had the time to read let alone skim them.

Ruby needs to learn how to control herself and follow employers rules of conduct and not stalk her former employer.

She likes to play victim , again based on years of threads here.

I don’t know how it is relevant but Arkansas (since you brought up Arkansas) is right to work state and people can be fired for a reason or no reason.

There is also no restraining order. Her boss said she’d file one if ruby doesn’t leave her alone. I am not sure why you insist she has to sue someone. Who and for what?

Her current issue is misbehaving on
a new job. Irrelevant to stalking story (it only relates to it as it’s another example of not behaving at work)

Buffy,

Ruby has expressed that as a result of the trauma of the last employer of being terminated and having the threat of a restraining order looming over her, she is unable to function at her current place of employment and has even on another thread talked of regressing to a child like state and have others view her as a child and reparent her in such fashion.

Now, I think?? is the question of the normalcy of an employer in suspension for cursing on the sales floor. ?? (I don't personally know anymore. The threads have a catch 22 feel to them)

There may be more than meets the eye in suspension over mere cursing as she responded with vulgarity after being asked where she had been.

I'm still seeing the same old pattern. To paraprhase:

"I acted in some way that I know I shouldn't, because some bad thing happened to me. I brought it about in the first place because of my own behavior, but I'm going to ignore that fact. To prevent me acting in ways I know I shouldn't, the answer is to avoid having bad things happen to me. Because growing up and dealing with it is too hard. The rules don't apply to me. I should be able to act any way I want."

Still no personal responsibility whatsoever. There is no sense of cause and effect. And it's been going on since 2012? Why are we still spending time on it?

She has spoken to me once before about behaving professionally (e.g. crying on salesfloor) not too long before the swearing incident. Also, there were many things I did since March that my supervisor didn't know about. I couldn't bear the effect of what happened at the fast food joint and the jealousy I feel towards my fast food coworkers.

Just because you can't bear what happened to you as a CONSEQUENCE of your behavior DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT to behave badly anywhere else.

You should have been focusing on changing your own behaviors & not on jealousy of the fast food coworkers. None of then acted with behavior that created a situation like yours. Look at how they behave verses you & you will KNOW the difference. They are not people to be jealous of but people to learn from how proper behavior in a peofessional setting is to be.

Ruby,

If these type of behaviors date all the way back to 2012, I am afraid you are not learning the lessons that you need to learn.

Everyone here is saying the exact same things about taking responsibility and learning and growing from your mistakes.

It seems to me that you do not know how to behave in a professional environment.

I think you need to talk to your therapist about this in great detail to resolve the problem.

I have seen this kind of reoccurring behaviour in two types of people.
People on a certain kind of medication. And people on the spectrum.
I am sure there are other examples I just wondered if ruby has been referred for behavioral or learning assessments.
I suspect something along those lines as there has been mention of a case worker or similar previously.

I just feel like we are expecting behaviour that would be within normal boundaries of someone who has no concept of what that is. Nor does she have the capacity to understand what regular social boundaries entail.

Yes she says the words, but they are in a parroted fashion, like you would expect from someone who is repeating what they have been told without really understanding them.

I might suggest that if advice is to be offered to bear in mind that it's highly likely Ruby has significant limitations to her understanding of deeper complex social situations.
Probably explains why she is cycling through a handful of work places who are familiar with her situation.

Just a thought.

Erebos, you make a very good point.

That’s correct Erebos. Ruby is employed with support of disability services. That’s why when things go wrong her case worker is informed and procedures are followed.

I previously addressed on this and other numerous threads that I don’t think she receives services that she needs because after that many years she still has trouble maintaining a job. Perhaps she is in need of supported employment with job coach being right there on the job monitoring her. Perhaps independent employment isn’t working (maybe will in the future)

If after that many attempts of work and schooling ruby still cannot do it, disability services need to reassess her situation and employ a different approach

Ruby has already mentioned that she is in the spectrum....there is no wondering or guessing. Good therapy can sometimes make them more aware of their behaviors depending where on the spectrum they actually lie.....but the capability ti comprehend certain things just isn't there depending where on the spectrum they lie. After living with a H for 33 years whose behaviors certainly point to being on the spectrum.....I see strong similarities even though he was able to function as a computer engineer, out T said he had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old.

Why do disability services recommend someone with such social skills deficiencies work in customer service type of jobs? There are ton of jobs that require minimum interactions with general public.

Meanwhile, as this goes back to 2012 with no sign of improvement, Vocational Rehabilitation keeps telling me I'm too disabled to be employable.

I think that's what pisses me off.

I have personality disorder as well as Asperger’s. Most of my behavior is from mental instability rather than Asperger’s. My job developer said as much. That said, when I was stalking my supervisor at fast food joint, I went much of the time not even aware that it’s stalking. Especially since she always smiled and said hi, which I took at face value. I been at my Sam’s Club job for 5.5 years before my mental instability got the better of me. Anytime a person reaches the limit of their endurance, mental illness occurs. Like I can’t bear what happened at that fast food joint, so I became crazy since March. Before March, my Sam’s Club supervisor actually said time and again that I improved and that I’m behaving professionally.

I think you might be confusing cause and effect. Your behavior didn’t occur because you had to endure something. You ended up having to endure issues at work because you weren’t behaving. Your issues are perhaps caused by mental instability but not being aware that your behavior is wrong isnt a valid excuse.

Are you currently receiving disability?

What's the difference between a job developer and job coach? I work with someone who has a disabling condition and their job coach helps as a mediator as sorts and does maintain contact with the office.

No, I went back to work for another former employer.

Ruby, you have a stubborn insistence on having your own way. What happens to us is only part of what shapes our behavior. More important is how we view what happens to us. You portray yourself as the victim, even when it is you who is victimizimg others. Ideas matter. You have some very wrong ideas. You believe you are entitled to get what you want from others. That is a problem of morality. That is a character problem. That shows a failure to mature. You are very intelligent. But you use your intelligence to think up rationales to justify your behavior rather than to adjust it to become a better person. There is very little hope for a person who won't admit being wrong. Such a person cannot develop to her full potential.

Most of us have to behave as we're expected to in order to earn a livelihood and have what we need. Maybe, for you, a job is optional. Probably your parents support you. Probably you will always be taken care of because of your disabilities. You seem destined to always be a child . . . morally. As you know, your parents won't be around forever. You have the mindset of a rebellious teenager. You can't seem to grasp that it's not all about you and what you want. You won't always be young. This mindset of yours is going to make you seem rather pathetic ten years from now. In life, there is a price for everything. Pay now . . . or pay later . . . with interest.

Ruby, you say she always smiled and said hi; HOWEVER, you were given instructions to stop the behavior and a chance to change your behavior, before you were ever fired, and you CHOOSE to disobey those instructions.

You did not become crazy since March because of what happened at the fast food joint. You exhibited the same disobedient, unprofessional behavior at both jobs. The fact that your boss at the Sam's Club job said you were acting better is moot, since you yourself said you broke a lot of rules, they just didn't know.

So you've got a new job now. That's great. Learn from the mistakes you have made at Sam's and the fast food joint and just obey the rules. In all of these jobs, the reason you ended up getting fired was your failure to follow rules or instructions. You were told to stop coming in when you weren't scheduled at the fast food job, and you continued to do so, so you got fired. You were told not to swear on the sales floor at Sam's, you did anyways, you were suspended, possibly fired. If you obey all the rules, you should be fine. If you make a mistake and are given a warning, then obey the warning, and you should be fine. It is not rocket science to follow rules.

Ruby, did your employer end up firing you?