Overreacting

I know this is wrong and childish and overreacting, but i get so pissed when my mom choses to give attention to other things/people rather than me. it makes me feel like anything is always more important than me.

i rationally know this is not true, but when she gives her attention to other things rather than me even when she knows i'd "need" her and i repeatedly asked for her to be with me and still choses to give her time and attention to others (especially when referred to certain other people), i go crazy and act so childish, like not talking to her, not doing what she asks me to do etc.

i know this is bad of me and i shouldnt but its stronger than me. its like i need to show her how angry and hurt she made me. because in our family, there always was something or someone more important and more needy than me. im sick of this. sick of always being put last and sick of my own reaction, expecting more than i always got….

what can i do?

This is sad. You need your mom. Tell her what you need and how it makes you feel. Don't forget to tell her you love her

It seems you've already had problems with your mother in the past. The effects are probably showing right now...

As my T says, i have a hard time integrating Good Mom and Bad Mom. she either is all-bad or all-good. and when she is all bad, thats what happens: what i wrote above here. i become a child and i cant be reasonable and see it all together as the adult that i am and as what an adult should see….

Sorryshaped, i did talk a bit with my mom and she understood the little bit i told her and it went better. thanks.

You clearly know that your behavior isn't really acceptable in that you admittedly state in the beginning that you know it is wrong and childish that you react as you do.

No one here can assess really whether what your interpretation of your mom's attention is at the level of being problematic, but we can only accept that this is your perception. From there the only real thing one can do is offer advice for handling what you perceive to be true.

That you feel you want more attention from your mother is what it comes down to and when ti comes to what to do about it, your t is the best person to help you cope and/or deal with the actual things outside of the idea that you communicate to your mother what you feel.

never accept the belief that any traits or behaviors are stronger than you. at that point you've given into them and you will succeed at fulfilling your belief system of failing to change. It's already decided when you state that the need is stronger than you. Instead remind yourself no matter how upset or angry you are, your actions are always going to be of your own doing, no invisible force makes you do these things and you have to make choices to change. Of course it seems impossible at the start but start small .. work with your t on this.

hope this helps.

How did your mom fail to meet your needs? In what integral moments did she miss the opprotunity to support and nurture you? I am not asking to pry. I am asking you because I think it will benefit you to open up about these moments in time that so greatly impacted you. just because your T says that you have trouble between good mom and bad mom doesn't mean that things didn't happen to you that caused this. You should explore Why you think this way and where it began.

when i ws 4 and my brother was born my mom had to dedicate him more attention because he was always sick. i understand it but a part of this much have laid latent in me all these years and if its not about my brother its about others now…

i have explored this multiple times with T. ex T and mom too... and i understand it all rationally, but i cant help feeling what i feel.

same goes for envying others for having what i'll never have…

i feel the biggest loser with only one way out

Another thing that usually makes me overreact is when my mom makes comments on my look (usually bad) and when she turns the whole discussions around her so that it all spins around her.

i can understand her comments. i know i dont not care too much about my looking, but the other, when after we start talking about me and end up talking about how i hurt her feelings and how the whole thing makes her feel is harder to let go.

also, sometimes we have different ideas on how to act around each other and it often ends up in a stupid and avoidable fight.

some days everything is right and some days everything is wrong. today is a wrong day and i needed to vent.…

any ideas on how to deal with this? please?