So my boyfriend is very handsome and good looking. Naturally, that attracts female attention. He is very outgoing and friendly and makes friends very easily. Well, what I find annoying is when women blatantly hit on my boyfriend, right in front of me, even while I am standing there holding his hand!

This happened with two different women last night while we were out. One of them even ran her hand through his hair flirtatiously, and she's actually a semi-friend of mine. Some friend! She ignored my presence completely!

Now I know how he feels when other men rudely hit on me in front of him. It's sooooo annoying!

He handles himself very well when this happens and is respectful of me, but still....

I suppose I am mainly just venting here, but how can people be so blatant and rude in this way?? Right in front of me and as though I don't exist? What is wrong with people?? Are they seriously trying to snatch up my boyfriend while I am standing there???

I was almost ready to say something to my semi-friend, but we both concluded she must have been drunk. I also didn't want to appear as overly possessive, so I held my tongue. Now I wish I had said something or made my presence more blatantly obvious. He has done that himself when guys have hit on me in front of him. This exact scenario happened in reverse last week and my boyfriend wanted to confront the dude upfront, but I talked him out of it to avoid awkwardness.

Can anyone else relate to this? What do you do or how do you handle this?

[SorryShaped]

Be grateful you have what not only matters you (which is the most important), but is wanted by many! He stays with you. You are making other girls jealous. Your ego has to love that.

[MickeyCheeky]

Yeah, I understand it can be pretty annoying. Unfortunately you can't really do anything, buf if he's loyal to you, you shouldn't have too many problems.

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Be grateful you have what not only matters you (which is the most important), but is wanted by many! He stays with you. You are making other girls jealous. Your ego has to love that.

Hmmm.... thanks, I hadn't thought of it that way, but it's not my style to either. I don't know if my ego loves this, I just find it to be SO rude on their part. Shameless, really.

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

Yeah, I understand it can be pretty annoying. Unfortunately you can't really do anything, buf if he's loyal to you, you shouldn't have too many problems.

Thanks, Mickey. He says he is all mine and mine alone. He makes it clear he's not interested in flirting or in gaining female attn, though I am sure it's flattering. He's very humble and doesn't realize how good looking or attractive he is, which is actually a wonderful trait in him that I love.

[SorryShaped]

Some people are shameless. I'm considered shameless or something, and largely I am, because I flirt with all women, because it's fun. I don't outright ask them out or anything, but I do enjoy flirting, and it sure seems they do too

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Hmmm.... thanks, I hadn't thought of it that way, but it's not my style to either. I don't know if my ego loves this, I just find it to be SO rude on their part. Shameless, really.

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Some people are shameless. I'm considered shameless or something, and largely I am, because I flirt with all women, because it's fun. I don't outright ask them out or anything, but I do enjoy flirting, and it sure seems they do too

Hmmm.... well, my boyfriend is not a big flirt. He says he would be happy to flirt with me and me alone for all our days. Sure, lots of people flirt and love the attention, but that's not his style. It's not mine either. I think it can cause jealousy and unnecessary insecurity within a relationship, if one or both people have a sensitivity to it, which I can and he can, too.

Last week this one guy acquaintance of ours wanted to put his arms around me and asked if he could, while my boyfriend was outside smoking. I said, no, what the heck are you thinking? I have a boyfriend who is right outside.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Hmmm.... well, my boyfriend is not a big flirt. He says he would be happy to flirt with me and me alone for all our days. Sure, lots of people flirt and love the attention, but that's not his style. It's not mine either. I think it can cause jealousy and unnecessary insecurity within a relationship, if one or both people have a sensitivity to it, which I can and he can, too.

Last week this one guy acquaintance of ours wanted to put his arms around me and asked if he could, while my boyfriend was outside smoking. I said, no, what the heck are you thinking? I have a boyfriend who is right outside.

If he wasn't right outside?

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

If he wasn't right outside?

What do you mean? I would not have let that guy put his arms around me in any case.

I just confronted my semi-friend. Screw it. I am pissed off and offended enough to say something to her. I told her to please not do anything like that again.

[SorryShaped]

Probably the best choice if it upsets you that much

Originally Posted by golden_eve

I just confronted my semi-friend. Screw it. I am pissed off and offended enough to say something to her. I told her to please not do anything like that again.

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Probably the best choice if it upsets you that much

Yeah it really did. It's disrespectful, I feel, and worthy of mention since she is supposedly a semi-friend of mine.

[divine1966]

Personally I think it’s something to do with type of crowd you associate with. If it always happens in the same setting then it’s something to do with the setting and the type of people in that setting. Especially if there is alcohol involved. And I am sorry these people lack class.

If you like that setting for other reasons (like particular music or performance etc) then I guess you have to put up with this.

My husband and I are nice looking people. No one ever hits on any of us in the other’s presence. Never. Not now, not when we weren’t married and had no rings on. And we both social and talk to anyone. Partially due to nature of our professions we talk to anyone about anything.

Last Sunday we were at the concert and actually made friends with two sisters, we had the loveliest conversation having a meal prior to it (it was local orchestra hall with a restaurant inside) and then chatted after the performance. At no point anyone hit on anyone. I can’t even imagine. Trust me, it’s that particular crowd. Running their hands through my husbands hair? Lol It is not socially acceptable behavior. It’s also not typical.

[nicoleflynn]

We can't control others' behaviors, so enjoy what you have and ignore rude people

Originally Posted by divine1966

Personally I think it’s something to do with type of crowd you associate with. If it always happens in the same setting then it’s something to do with the setting and the type of people in that setting. Especially if there is alcohol involved. And I am sorry these people lack class.

If you like that setting for other reasons (like particular music or performance etc) then I guess you have to put up with this.

My husband and I are nice looking people. No one ever hits on any of us in the other’s presence. Never. Not now, not when we weren’t married and had no rings on. And we both social and talk to anyone. Partially due to nature of our professions we talk to anyone about anything.

Last Sunday we were at the concert and actually made friends with two sisters, we had the loveliest conversation having a meal prior to it (it was local orchestra hall with a restaurant inside) and then chatted after the performance. At no point anyone hit on anyone. I can’t even imagine. Trust me, it’s that particular crowd. Running their hands through my husbands hair? Lol It is not socially acceptable behavior. It’s also not typical.

Yes, I agree -- not socially acceptable behavior, and certainly not typical. It IS the crowd we associate with -- they're all free lovin', free wheelin' hippies. It's a hippie music scene, and it cannot be avoided since we love the music and want to see live music together.

I am glad I said something to her. That should straighten out any confusion on her part.

[divine1966]

We love music too and go to all kind of concerts but I still don’t see such behavior as common. I think it might be not as much as loving live music as people using substances that help to lose inhibition. I suspect people are intoxicated (well I mean buzzed or even drunk) and perhaps high as well. I suspect when these people are sober, they act appropriately.

You may have fixed the issue with that woman but you can’t fix it with everyone else. You said it’s ongoing issue and it’s not one woman.

I don’t think it has anything to do with how you two look or level of attractiveness of your boyfriend or that you two are taken. It has everything to do with how people act when under the influence. It is just what it is. No point to even worry why they don’t respect you or your boyfriend. They just aren’t sober.

Yeah, good points. Thanks, Divine. These are bars afterall, and yes, there are substances being used.

[seesaw]

Yeah, I can see being upset that women are so forward right in front of you. My response would be to make fun of them after they left. I'd probably tease my bf about it too. Cause I don't care. If someone wants to be with me, they will be with me. It's not some girl in a bar that will make him leave me. And if it is, then good riddance.

I was going to suggest you confront your friend. If she is a friend, then that behavior is just unacceptable. Even if she was drunk or high, I think it still needs to be called to her attention that she was hitting on your guy. Not cool.

Flirting is a funny thing. People think I flirt a lot when I'm just friendly and will talk to anyone about anything, much like Divine. If I'm flirting, to me it's very obvious. I'll send out signals like touching the man's arm or shoulder, leaning in to whisper, double entendres....yeah, so flirting to me is obvious. But I guess with pretty women just being friendly and smiling is taken as flirting. I'm like, just because I smiled and said hello does not mean I was flirting...um, right? But for some reason there are men who take it that way.

Glad you spoke up if something was bothering you.

Seesaw

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

So my boyfriend is very handsome and good looking. Naturally, that attracts female attention. He is very outgoing and friendly and makes friends very easily. Well, what I find annoying is when women blatantly hit on my boyfriend, right in front of me, even while I am standing there holding his hand!

This happened with two different women last night while we were out. One of them even ran her hand through his hair flirtatiously, and she's actually a semi-friend of mine. Some friend! She ignored my presence completely!

Now I know how he feels when other men rudely hit on me in front of him. It's sooooo annoying!

He handles himself very well when this happens and is respectful of me, but still....

I suppose I am mainly just venting here, but how can people be so blatant and rude in this way?? Right in front of me and as though I don't exist? What is wrong with people?? Are they seriously trying to snatch up my boyfriend while I am standing there???

I was almost ready to say something to my semi-friend, but we both concluded she must have been drunk. I also didn't want to appear as overly possessive, so I held my tongue. Now I wish I had said something or made my presence more blatantly obvious. He has done that himself when guys have hit on me in front of him. This exact scenario happened in reverse last week and my boyfriend wanted to confront the dude upfront, but I talked him out of it to avoid awkwardness.

Can anyone else relate to this? What do you do or how do you handle this?

well first off I do not think that calmly pointing out that you're with the guy is at all overly possessive. It's natural and it's not like he was separated from you in the room making it less obvious. When someone is bold enough to hit on a partner (male or female) when they are clearly with someone, I am of the opinion that they need to be put in their place. Maybe handled in a respectful way but still, nothing wrong with saying "hey, can you not see we're holding hands and clearly a couple?" well maybe not those words but basically .. yeah.

Me, I would imagine I would say something in that case, myself.

[Erebos]

Personally it doesn't really bother me, I know my fella isn't going anywhere. But I do expect him to put any overly attentive women in the picture.
Nothing I hate more than looking and sounding like some insecure desperado trying to hang onto my man.

If a person isn't knocking back unwanted advances I would be asking why. I sure as hell do if someone oversteps the mark.

Thank you, all. The good news is -- he cannot be swayed by these other women. He loves me and is devoted to me, this I know to be 100% true. He's not interested in anyone else.

s4ndm & seesaw, thank you for the validation. Erebos, he did turn and looked at me with a raised eyebrow when she had brushed through his hair with her fingers. He didn't know what to say in the moment, and neither did I. I don't think that by confronting her is being an insecure desperado or anything -- it is putting her in her place as needed, as others have noted. She needed to know it is unacceptable and that I didn't appreciate it, as her semi-friend.

I am sorry to say it but with good looking men I usually don't want to be with them because of this. Can't have something nice or everyone else wants that too.

A few years ago there was a movie about this called "see you in the morning" really sad. Jeff Bridges married Farrah Fawcett and loved her but they broke up because he just couldn't take the attention flying at her from other men and he eventually married a more plain woman because that was what he needed to be secure.

It was really sad because Farrah wasn't cheating on him or anything - she was just too attractive.

Can I ask a stupid question. What is a semi friend?

I have borderline. I do black and white thinking. You are a friend or you aren't. So I'm genuinely interested because I dont understand.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

Can I ask a stupid question. What is a semi friend?

I have borderline. I do black and white thinking. You are a friend or you aren't. So I'm genuinely interested because I dont understand.

I would imagine a semi friend meaning "acquaintance"

Yes, a semi-friend is close to being a friend, but is more so of an acquaintance.

Emily, I would never want to break up with my boyfriend just because he's attractive. He's amazing and I do love him, but I suppose I will just have to deal with other women liking him from time to time.