OK so I've never been close to my step father's side of the family. They are very religious and I never cared about religion myself. When I used to play a lot of video games as a teen to escape from how much of a living hell my life was, both from dealing with bullies at school making my life a living hell every day, and my mother's lies and drama at home, they would tell me how my video games are the devil himself and how I would go to hell for playing them. They would force me to read the bible every time they came in and would get mad at me and shame me if I didn't shut my mouth and do what they say. Even something as simple as how I walk or sit was an excuse for them (my step father's dad in particular) to yell at me and tell me to do things their way. I finally learned to outsmart them and lied about being saved and finding Jesus just so they would treat me better.

Up until recently, I kept in some form of contact with them. My grandmother-in law has even helped me out of a couple of my screwups financially and let me put my phone line on their family plan to save me some money. However, a couple of months ago, I found out they had gained access to some of my text history somehow and they found out that me and one of my friends were texting each other stuff pertaining to atheism and anti-religion memes (like zombie Jesus for example) that were met as more of a joke than anything. Since then they have been telling me how I'm going to hell and how I need to come out there so they can straighten me out and help me find God and all of this other crap. I have gotten 4-5 calls during the last few days telling me that they would like me to come out to see them for Christmas.


From today until Jan 2nd is the only break that I've gotten in a long time where I don't have to worry about school and I don't have to go to work since I work at the community college and they're closed until the 2nd and the last thing I want to do is ride up there (it's a 3 hour drive) be lectured and go without my video games for a few days on the only break I will have until March. I flat out muted my phone so I don't have to deal with their **** and threw it in my desk.


IDK what to do anymore I am just frustrated with everybody and everything at this point and want people in general to **** off and leave me alone. Humans and their drama drain me.

Muting the phone is a good start.

I wouldn't ride up there and allow them to subject me to more abuse either.

This is your holiday break!

I hope you decide to stay right where you are and play video games and anything else you find relaxing for you until your heart's content.

Originally Posted by Pfrog

Muting the phone is a good start.

I wouldn't ride up there and allow them to subject me to more abuse either.

This is your holiday break!

I hope you decide to stay right where you are and play video games and anything else you find relaxing for you until your heart's content.

Thanks.

That's what I plan on doing anyways.

It just hurts that what little family I have left either treats me like **** or doesn't want to talk to me at all, you know?

[downandlonely]

I wouldn't want to visit them either. Is there any way you can get off their family plan and get your own phone? That way they won't be able to see your text.

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

I have gotten 4-5 calls during the last few days telling me that they would like me to come out to see them for Christmas.

I can relate and not. I have to go to my sister's house tomorrow to be pitied because I am all alone. I would prefer to be home doing what I want to do but I have to get the presents ready and go.. I do it because I do need help at other times of the year and I do know that I have to put up with the one day pity just to maintain relationships.

So maybe you should just look at it as something you have to do. It is only one day out of a week right and also, maybe they just want to see you.. cut them a break!!

But boy I can't relate to the uber religious family. I just hate that. Glad I live in an area where that would be the weird stuff.

I totally get where you're coming from, DarknessIsMyFriend.

I've had absolutely no contact with mine for the past 25 years!

It isn't an easy choice to make, but it is the right one when our physical and emotional well-being is at stake!

Wishing you the best during this Winter Solstice, and hoping you enjoy those video games!

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I wouldn't want to visit them either. Is there any way you can get off their family plan and get your own phone? That way they won't be able to see your text.

I plan on doing that sometime within the next few weeks.

Only problem is that I might need to buy a new phone just because they have me on a Sprint line and it can be difficult to move Sprint phones to different lines/carriers since they are CDMA. Also, I would have to go through them to transfer my line over.

Was planning on buying another used phone off eBay. Bought the Sprint LGV20 that I have now used about a year ago for around $200. I'll probably buy an unlocked used LG V series phone and just go with a prepaid plan somewhere.

Can't do much until I get the money though unfortunately which will be around mid Jan. Until then, I'll have to toughen it out because I am flat broke atm.

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

I can relate and not. I have to go to my sister's house tomorrow to be pitied because I am all alone. I would prefer to be home doing what I want to do but I have to get the presents ready and go.. I do it because I do need help at other times of the year and I do know that I have to put up with the one day pity just to maintain relationships.

I saw them 2 times in the past year; both times just to "repay" them for the help they provided me.

I'm not going to ask them for help ever again. I am a grown man and can take care of my own issues. I'm not making the mistakes I used to make so I am not as dependent on other people. If I screw something up and need a loan, well I built my credit up well in the past year so I'll use my credit cards or get a small loan if I have to rather than ask them again.

So IDC I'm staying home. Not going out there to be lectured and be forced to hide who I am just to fit in with their little community. I shouldn't have to given what I've been through up until now.

[WishfulThinker66]

How 'Christian' of them to behave such a way. A shame that people can't follow their religion's dogma of love and respect for all. Disgusting.

I gather then you aren't going. Good on you.

Yeah I'm just tired of having to hide who I really am just because people can't accept me because I'm different, you know?

I'm tired of living in this state. I don't fit in and I'm nothing like the vast majority of people.

Most people around me are Christian, I'm an atheist.

Most people around me like watching sports. I can't stand watching sports or sports in general because watching is boring and I'm not physically built to play sports.

Many people are obsessed with cars and trucks where I live. I'm not a car person as I don't drive because my MI makes driving difficult. People give me crap over not having a driver's license too.

My point is that because of where I live, I have to hide a lot about myself from the general public because I'm afraid of being judged or messed with by people for being different. I plan on moving out of state at some point but right now, It's not financially feasible for me to move since there is a very low cost of living where I live. I want to move somewhere with more open minded people and better public transportation so I don't have to stress out about driving since driving is so overwhelmingly stressful for me. Unfortunately, every city that meets my criteria is almost double the cost of living.

I know I'm just rambling at this point it's just so hard dealing with this kind of stuff.

[Medusax]

Darknesss.....I am a pagan/wiccan type of person and one of the best friends I have ever had is a devout Christian. Pretty crazy, huh? I was raised in the church and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I also am close with an atheist. I discovered the real me around age 15. The attitude about your games sounds like the crap my dad used to spew. Your family is being like that simply because they want to be obtuse. There is no reason for it. People who care about each other accept each other as they are, unless of course they are a danger in some way to society. Sorry yo have to go through this. Hope your life gets better.

[Medusax]

Oh...I have never driven either, so that makes two of us!! LOL!!

I'm kinda in the same boat when it comes to family stuff and holidays. They invite me every year, but the invite doesn't seem genuine. Declining the invite has actually become easier. Sometimes they send a last minute invite and I never know what's going on with them, so that makes my life more difficult. Not really the type of holiday memories I'd rather hold onto. Honestly, I look forward to a time when I would like to attend another family event. Enough about me. From reading your posts, I can tell you have a determined and developed personality. So, I say, do what you do, and do it better. If there is something you don't like about yourself, change it. Don't change who you are or anything about yourself for anyone else. Don't feel like you need to please anyone either. When you are ready, you may decide to be less forthcoming about your religious beliefs but now it seems that you are still exploring what those are for yourself. I don't blame you. It sounds like you are putting your health first and your family should understand that, if not now, maybe one day. Do what makes you happy

[lizardlady]

DarknessIsMyFriend, good for you for doing what's best for you. Enjoy your time off from work and school. Do what pleases you.

About the phone, Wal-Mart has some inexpensive phones you can put on a pre-paid plan. Might not be the best phone around, but would get you off their plan.

BTW, I'm an old fart, but have friends who I could join in on a zombie Jesus joke line.

Originally Posted by Medusax

Oh...I have never driven either, so that makes two of us!! LOL!!

Nice.

If you don't mind my asking, how do you get around? Your profile says you live in Arkansas. Is the public transportation actually good there? I thought it sucked.


I do want to move somewhere with half decent public transportation later on but most cities with good public transportation are expensive to live in.

Where I live, the buses are utter crap. Just to get to another part of the city that would normally be a 10-20 minute drive takes 1-3 hours because the buses have to go back to the terminal to transfer you to another bus that heads in the direction you're going.


If that isn't bad enough, there is also the matter of several of the bus routes going by unsafe parts of town. There are a lot of gangs/cartels where I live. To give you an idea, last year, before I moved into my current apartment, when I was riding one of the night buses home, 10 minutes after the bus I was on passed the bus stop, somebody got shot to death. I literally fear for my life riding some of the buses, yet, my only other viable option is Uber, which becomes expensive after awhile.

My only saving grace is the fact that my workplace/school is in walking distance in a relatively safe part of town. I worry that if I ever got kicked out of school or lost my job at the school and my self-emplopyment stuff I'm working on failed to take off, that I would be forced to ride buses through unsafe parts of town to get to a job.


So yeah, I need to do something soon.

Originally Posted by lizardlady

About the phone, Wal-Mart has some inexpensive phones you can put on a pre-paid plan. Might not be the best phone around, but would get you off their plan.

Thanks.

Either way, I cannot afford any phone right now, no matter how cheap the phone is. Until mid January when my financial aid hits, I can barely afford to pay my rent and bills.

I have to wait no matter what phone I choose to get.

With that being said, I am first considering a prepaid service that I found out about on accident called Red Pocket Mobile. Apparently it is fully compatible with all carriers and can be used with Sprint phones. I could get an unlimited talk/text and 1GB data plan for $18 per month. Gonna try that before buying a new phone.

[healingme4me]

Did you wind up staying home? The whole Satan's work mumbo jumbo is foreign to me being up here in the northeast and all. Apparently the witch trials and lessons on what happens through puritanism was a lost lesson??

Anywho....enjoy the time off from the pressures!!

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Did you wind up staying home? The whole Satan's work mumbo jumbo is foreign to me being up here in the northeast and all. Apparently the witch trials and lessons on what happens through puritanism was a lost lesson??

Anywho....enjoy the time off from the pressures!!

Yeah, I'm not going anywhere today.

Flat out played my game until 5AM last night and just now woke up. Not often I get to do this anymore lol.

I am so glad that you got to do exactly what you wanted to do today!

Happy Gaming!

[MickeyCheeky]

It doesn't sound like an healthy family at all, DarknessIsMyFriend. I think you're doing the right thing by not going with them. You don't need more abuse in your life. Just take care of yourself, and don't contact them, unless they want to apologize or something similar. Merry Christmas! Sending many hugs to you

[Medusax]

Darkness...yes I am in rural Arkansas and there is no bus service or even taxis here. I walk, ride my bike and get around with a couple of good friends. Fill their tanks with gas and take them to lunch when we go into Ft. Smith. Ft. Smith has better transportation, but i am in little old Ozark. In Oregon, I did the same but we had bus service and cabs. the reason I don't drive is because I have a lot of trouble with speed ad distance unless I am riding a horse LOL!! Also, the money you save by not having a vehicle is phenomenal. We cannot afford two drivers in the house with my husband's irresponsible nature with money.

Originally Posted by Medusax

Darkness...yes I am in rural Arkansas and there is no bus service or even taxis here. I walk, ride my bike and get around with a couple of good friends. Fill their tanks with gas and take them to lunch when we go into Ft. Smith. Ft. Smith has better transportation, but i am in little old Ozark. In Oregon, I did the same but we had bus service and cabs. the reason I don't drive is because I have a lot of trouble with speed ad distance unless I am riding a horse LOL!! Also, the money you save by not having a vehicle is phenomenal. We cannot afford two drivers in the house with my husband's irresponsible nature with money.

Ah, I see. Thought maybe you had a secret means of getting around that I'm unaware of

I didn't learn how to drive as a teen because my mother wouldn't let me. She told me how I'm a danger to people and she doesn't want me to drive. She was a liar and manipulator that failed to teach me how to survive in the world as an adult so I've been learning on my own.

Tried to take classes some months ago. Flat out couldn't do it. I did alright driving around the parking lot but the moment I went out on the road I would get nervous and freeze up behind the wheel. A lot of thoughts went through my head like fear of people judging me, fear of getting into an accident and getting hurt, fear of dying because some retard is looking at cat videos on their phone, and fear of my instructor snapping at me among other things. Flat out can't drive because of my anxiety issues.

I need to move somewhere with good public transportation. I worry that I'll get to a point where I need a job and can't get to one because of lack of transportation. I'm trying to get to where I can support myself entirely via self employment working from home but I would feel more secure with a plan B ya know?

[Medusax]

Tried to take classes some months ago. Flat out couldn't do it. I did alright driving around the parking lot but the moment I went out on the road I would get nervous and freeze up behind the wheel. A lot of thoughts went through my head like fear of people judging me, fear of getting into an accident and getting hurt, fear of dying because some retard is looking at cat videos on their phone, and fear of my instructor snapping at me among other things. Flat out can't drive because of my anxiety issues.

@Darkness...the above that I copied and pasted off of your comment rings true with me as well.

Originally Posted by Medusax

Tried to take classes some months ago. Flat out couldn't do it. I did alright driving around the parking lot but the moment I went out on the road I would get nervous and freeze up behind the wheel. A lot of thoughts went through my head like fear of people judging me, fear of getting into an accident and getting hurt, fear of dying because some retard is looking at cat videos on their phone, and fear of my instructor snapping at me among other things. Flat out can't drive because of my anxiety issues.

@Darkness...the above that I copied and pasted off of your comment rings true with me as well.

Ya and cost is also a factor.

I could probably get over my fears with a lot of practice but driving classes typically have a limited amount of hours. I spent over $300 on my last class for 12 hours of on road training and driving just didn't click for me in that amount of time due to my anxiety issues. I feel like I would need 3-4 times that amount of time just to get over my fears enough to be functional on the road but I don't have $1000-2000 to spend on driving classes. Even if I did have that kind of money to blow on a whim I would be better off spending it on my web store or some more training to get a better income so I can afford to live in a city with good public transportation in the first place.

I wish self driving cars would hurry up and become mainstream so driving no longer becomes an issue for me.

[Medusax]

@Darkness..Part of my fear was fed by my parents. They INSISTED that if I was going to drive I drive a stick. It is because I wanted an automatic and that I felt more comfortable with one that they wanted to force THEIR choice on me. The self driving car was, at first, something that put stars in my eyes. THEN, I learned they can be hacked.