Not wearing a bra. Is my mom correct?

Just don’t knock yourself unconscious by accident, lol. Jk

Your mother shouldn’t be mean and disrespectful to you. Saying that parents sometimes have worries and fears about their children’s (of any age) safety and well-being that are somewhat irrational or unfounded. Unless one is a parent it’s just hard to comprehend. It’s normal and I’ve never met a parent (unless completely negligent) who didn’t have worries that are somewhat irrational. Comes with the territory

As about bras...There is no law about wearing or not wearing bras. Whatever works for you. You can pretty much wear whatever as long as you extercise common sense and reason.

Probably a bad idea to dress up like a slob for work if your work has dress code (if you want to keep a job). And don’t show up to black tie event wearing pajama bottoms and stretched out tank top with no bra because bras and underwear are supposedly bad for your health and you believe being comfortable is the most important thing in the world.

Common sense is usually enough to figure out what’s appropriate.

Again, as a matter of respect - if a mother, who pays the bills, wishes her adult daughter who lives in her home to put undergarments on when there are men they don't know working in the home - DO IT.

When you are paying all your own bills in the 4 walls of your own home, do what you like.

just thought I would add to my post because some are saying bras are unhealthy... from my own medical doctors, muscle specialists and breast specialists where I get my mamograms....

bras are not unhealthy for the human body, no more unhealthy or causing problems to the muscles than wearing underwear/ panties, socks, gloves and mittens. as long as you have the correct sizing for your body and cup size there is no damage to muscles, bones , skin.

I had had the same fears and concerns for my body about bras and brought these concerns and copies of what I was finding on the internet to my treatment providers. some my treatment providers got a great laugh over. including the ones that said breasts wont sag if not supported by bras. its a matter of gravity that anything up must come down, regardless of what it is. Ask any woman with a breast size above a b or c cup what happens to their breasts when they take off their bras. do their "girls" stay put in perfect formation up high. no they flop downwards (unless of course you are a body builder who works out their "pecs") over time the downwards reaches new lengths, muscles are like rubber bands, the more they stretch the longer they get and eventually dont snap back to their original positions. proof of this go through photos and look at how your human body has changed notice where your "girls" are landing in the photos are they in the same spot and position or do they hand lower and lower. if you have a normal human body you will notice normal changes including sizing and shape and how high they sit on your body. its completely normal for breast muscles to stretch and hang lower and lower as people age.

From personal experience I can tell you my "girls" with wearing bras have never had any health issues of muscle problems, skin problems or muscle atrophy, and I can tell you that over time my photos of me and my girls in and out of bras changed where I have been lower, and lower, even mismatched where one side is one cup size and the other side is another cup size (which again is norrmal for breasts to be this way)

from my treatment providers if a person is having problems with infections (which can happen if a person is not washing their bras after every wearing just like any other piece of clothing bras accumulate bacteria, skin cells and so on. most buy a bra and wash it every few days but really should be have enough bras to wash every day like socks and underwear) , muscle atrophy and so on it is not due to actually wearing a bra. its the person buying the bra has miss sized their self.

my suggestion anyone that has any concerns about their "girls" and wearing bras should contact their treatment providers. they will help you to understand how to care for the girls, what health problems you need to be aware of that happens with the "girls" and which type of bra and size is right for your body type and health issues.

So living with her mother as an adult means that her mom gets to dictate what she wears. Does she also get to decide what she eats? Who she calls? What she watches and reads?

OP, sorry you had this conflict with your mom. You did nothing wrong, and your mom is not entitled to decide how you dress.

There may be a fear beneath her overreaction. She could have been afraid that the trades men will look at you inappropriately. But I don't like the way her words came out, telling you that you are the one who is being inappropriate. I don't think that was very nice of her.

I agree in that while an 18 year old daughter has the right to refuse to comply with her mother/landlord’s request, her mother also has the right to throw her disrespectful daughter out into the street. Just saying... I know I had better show respect or my mother would have thrown me out...which she literally did do.

Thanks everyone for your comments

Hey, at least i got the joke about OVA-reacting...

Luna, braless off and on (mostly bra off!) since birth

Eta - a gf in high school warned me my boobs would sag to my waist - its now 50 years later and while they are not as perky, they are nowhere near my waist.

I would say she is overreacting! It was none of her business! I would ask how would you know rather or not I have one on? I would have ask are you spying on me? If it.your home and not your mom?. Tel her she can't act like this anymore or she can't come over.

I agree with everything that you said!

Great advice!

I live in California and it's accepted if you go braless. No one even stares unless it's a tourist. Women should be able to do whatever they want and wear whatever they want and not be judged for it. My opinion is do what you want and forget what others think.

Sports bras are cool beans; often I wear one and so does my young daughter. Sports bras are nice and comfy. Except your mum had no right calling you hurtful words. You have a right to be treated with respect and kindness and I think you should tell her.

Asserting ourselves doesn't mean loud. Lower your voice, keep eye contact and ask her to be more mindful of your feelings. You're adult now, remind her, so she has no right to treat you like a child.

True but society treats rape survivors like it is their fault and is not kind or fair to them, never mind bringing the perpetrator to trial and if you are very very fortunate getting them convicted. I might be crucified for saying this but there is nothing wrong with being mindful of the way some men think, even though that is no excuse to assault or rape anyone. I remember when I was younger on one occasion I was out with a male friend (well he certainly was to me) and (even though I had a bra on) he remarked that he could see one of my nipples protruding through my top, and from his manner of remarking he obviously thought it was a turn on. At that age I was naïve (was about 22) but it never even crossed my mind that men could think that way even then. So I don't blame the OP for being upset and confused by her mum's reaction but I do think her mum was being overprotective, maybe she has had personal experience of sexual harassment and didn't want that to happen to her child? Her response wasn't ideal but her anger or nasty comments might have been just her panicking at the idea of her daughter going through something similar.

For some reason I cant get this to repeat the statement that says bras are bad for you even if you have big boobs. Where in the heck did you get that? If you have big boobs and don’t wear a bra, down the road, you will sag a lot more—its just gravity. Big boobs are heavy, for heavens sake. I have big boobs, not medium—42D right now. Get real.
And to the daughter, I might have gone without a bra, admiring my wonderful sprightly self in my youth, but I still think it would be wise to errr on the side of caution around strangers.If you look on the public database, you will see that sex offenders live pretty close to your house.

For generations, women have been advised that wearing a bra would keep breasts from sagging, prevent back pain and improve posture.

Wrong, wrong and wrong, according to a study conducted by Jean-Denis Rouillon, a sports medicine specialist from the Centre Hospitalier Universitaire in Besancon, France.

"Medically, physiologically, anatomically — breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity," Rouillon said, as quoted on TheLocal.fr. "On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra." [The Cleavage Countdown: 8 Facts About Breasts]

Rouillon should know: Since 1997, he has been studying the breasts of 330 volunteers ages 18 to 35 using a slide ruler and a caliper to record the changes in breast position as the women aged, CBSNews.com reports.

His meticulous research revealed that women could experience about a 1/4-inch (7-millimeter) lift in the nipples each year they didn't wear a bra, news site Counsel & Heal reports.

The researchers involved in the study suggested that bras — which Rouillon now calls "a false necessity"— discourage the growth of supporting breast tissue, leaving the breasts to sag more quickly.

Other research has challenged the conventional wisdom that breast-feeding causes breast ptosis (sagging). A 2007 study of 132 women revealed that breast-feeding had no effect on the degree of breast sagging.

What did affect breast ptosis, that research revealed, was age, smoking status and the number of times a woman had become pregnant.

Because Rouillon's study focused on younger women, he cautioned that the results can't be generalized to all women.

"It would be dangerous to advise all women to stop wearing their soutien-gorge [bra] as the women involved were not a representative sample of the population," he said, as quoted in French news site The Connexion.

"It would be of no benefit to a 45-year-old mother to stop wearing a bra," Rouillon said.

One of the participants in the study extolled the virtues of going bra-free: "There are multiple benefits: I breathe more easily, I carry myself better and I have less back pain," she told news site France Info.

Follow Marc Lallanilla on Twitter and Google+. Follow us @Livescience, Facebook & Google+. Original article on LiveScience.com.

Yes this is true. It is indeed a myth that bras train breasts to defy gravity. Age and time change all of our bodies eventually. If anyone is interested, Whoopi Goldberg has been quite candid about the bra issue related to her own breasts. And how age eventually affects the body overall. In short, try as we may we cannot beat Father Time, bra or no bra. That said, there is some research to suggest that being braless is healthier for breast tissue. Being braless is a natural state of course. And wearing a bra is not comfortable or helpful for breathing freely. I say each person should choose what works for them. Bra or no bra. But thank you for pointing out the research which negates the bra myths. Breast health is not really why bras were created and presented as norms...but that would be a whole different thread

well if anyone on here wore 30FF or 32G (obviously very narrow back and small shoulders and very large breasts, and no not fake), they’d stop talking about comfort of walking around without bra, at any age. Sure, if you have small breasts or large back, maybe. Otherwise try to tie unsupported bags of sand to your shoulders and walk around. Then talk about how it’s good and healthy for your back and shoulders and how it’s healthy and comfy. Let just everybody do what they see fit and what suits their bodies.

I just want to add to the other posters' comments here. I am so sorry your mother was hurtful towards you. My own mother can be very hurtful sometimes, so I understand how that may feel. It sucks.

I am guessing (as an older female myself) that your mother was perhaps concerned about potential unwanted sexual attention from the male workers. She could have expressed her concerns very differently, however.

Of course you have every right to not wear a bra in or outside your house. That is your right. However, in doing so, it can attract attention from men, but you're 18 and an adult, so I am sure you are aware of that. As long as you are comfortable, that's what matters the most, either way, bra or no bra.

To answer your question, your mother did seem to overreact and behaved poorly over the situation. I hope you are doing OK now. (((hugs)))

I had a reduction and my Doctor said ALWAYS wear an underwire with good support. Helps your posture and prevents sagging.

Your mom is wrong and you are not. You DO NOT have to wear a bra!! They are unnatural and not good for you. They actually make your boobs saggier in the long run. Plus your body is natural. Love it, embrace it, and don’t restrict it!

Personally I only wear a bra when going to work. This is only because the tops we wear at work are very thin (thin enough the almost become transparent in certain lighting) and I’m not a fan of guests hitting on me because they can see my nips. Otherwise I go bra free and love it and tell anyone who has a problem with it to **** off.

Embrace your woman hood and tell your mother that’s it’s your body and you can do as you please. Because You can.

Rape is never the victims fault. Instead of telling women to cover up tell men to keep it in their pants. Also, to protect herself, I would suggest staying near her mother when strangers are in the home. Or having pepper spray. Or the police on speed dial. Because guess what, rape happens to those who wear bras. It happens to those completely covered up. So in reality, she’s never safe or fully protected.

Well if people have rights to wear whatever the heck they want in their house regardless who is visiting... my husband walks around naked 99% of the time . No not underwear naked. Just naked.

I guess if we have maintenance of delivery coming in, he shouldn’t have to wear pants because we should be comfortable in our own houses. I think he should embrace his manhood lol Underwear is unnatural and not good for you and he should tell everyone who doesn’t like to see his parts to f...off. Lol lol 😂

Divine - i'll be right over!!

P.s. NOW we know why you married him! Did you say he has a brother?