My boyfriend has protection?

Well, he's not my boyfriend but we've been dating and it looks hopeful. I visited him one day but noticed the same guys following him everywhere he went. They even stay outside his apartment when he's coming and going.

We went for breakfast and they were sat at a table next to us. I caught him nod at them and they all stood up, they went outside briefly and returned and nodded at him. After that, we went into town to do some shopping and they were in the distance, but never left his sight. They don't give the vibe of being friends, but respectable towards him, and very protective of me?

Does anybody have any ideas on what is happening? I feel like it's not my business to ask him. All ideas are hugely appreciated

No idea. Ask him anyway. And then ask them.

I agree with the other user. The only way to find out whether it is your business is to ask him. Besides, it's also possible that the person could lie rather than be frank, if you're afraid of asking the question.

Anyways, let us know his response if you do ask. It seems rather strange. Reminds me of some boss of something sketchy having his cronies around. Lol. Not saying that's what it is, of course.

Is there anything more you could tell us about your date and the group of guys?

It is reasonable for you to ask. If his mother showed up to a date and sat a few feet away, you'd ask right? This sounds even more serious. Is he a very wealthy man?

So my date is just an average guy. Dead romantic, paid for my travel costs to get here, he's been taking me on picnic dates and all of the cute stuff. When we started dating he told me he's had a dark past but it's behind him now, and that he's making up for it by helping in the community.

His guys are all ex security services, there is always a land rover tailing us. I asked briefly about it and he told me that they had "intelligence" that there was a very small possibility of conflict.

I notice that there is one guy who is closer to him than the rest, he's a bit more willing to have banter with him and they seem very close.

I was going to the shop to buy some books to read at night, and my date was at the cafe getting everyone breakfast and drinks, I had one of his guys overlooking me when someone approached me and his guys sprung into action, one got me away from his guy, another had his hands inside his jacket as if he was ready to pull something out of his pocket.

Again, this was robotic and my date walked over and asked if I was okay and held my hand.

The thing is, he never needs money. The breakfast was free, I was surprised when we just got up and walked off (not before his guys went around and gathered everyone's empty plates) and the lady replied "be safe!" my date replying "always". His family are well known and highly respected. Before his dad died, he ran a security company (off the books, illegal protection rackets)

Is he royalty or a prime minister? Just kidding. What does he do for a living then? Waste management consultant or runs a pork store? Sorry couldn’t resist.

I find it curious that you wouldn’t ask him what’s up with having bodyguards. Are you a shy person or are you afraid to ask? Just casually ask and see what he says (might lie of course but watch his reaction). Do tell us, I am being nosey. Be safe please

He works within the community helping the homeless, he runs a shelter and manages a team of volunteers.

Today was a little bit shocking but we have answers at least. When he entered a shop today we were rushed out and huddled into a blacked out range over and sped away. The guys just turned around to me and said to not worry, its just a safety issue.

It gave me a reason to ask what was going on and what is he involved in. It turns out that the guys are all security services with the local authority. The guy I'm dating was approached by a gang and was threatened at knife point for a situation many years ago.

But what he never told me was he ran for mayor in his local town as he was nominated as community icon and so they were nominated to protect him.

How do you feel about all of this other than finding it "a bit shocking?" To me, it does not sound like a healthy or safe situation for you. If you continue seeing him and it evolves into a serious long-term relationship, it seems unlikely that you could ever have a safe and peaceful life with him.

You may also want to consider other people in your life....family, close friends. If someone trying to target your boyfriend decides to target you one day (not beyond the realm of possibility), they could also target the people you love.

If I were you, I'd end this relationship now.

This is not average, and I think you know that.

yea I agree this does not sound like just an average guy. my first thought was the mob. lol sorry but the mob isnt only in the tv shows and here where Im located its quite common to discover a person who says they are someone famous like trying to become president, governor or mayor is part of the crime syndicate.

suggestion since he says he is a candidate for mayor you should be ab le to find out very easily though news websites, and google. news channels always do reports on those who are applying or have applied to government positions like this. if you cant find anything in news papers or tv channels or tv channel offical websites call your nearest voting office. they can look in their records to see if he was ever a candidate or on any ballots for the past 50 or so years. they even back up their records with the county and state (federal) so if he really is a candate for governor any where you will know it rather quickly.

what Im concerned about is the fact that you are dating someone who says he was or is a candate for a government job and you did not know it before you started dating him. if he is so well known that he needs body guards then there should have been some thing about it in the media somewhere including pictures of campaigning and such things.

my point this raises big flags for me, please be careful with this guy ok. something just doesnt sound right with him.

That seems REALLY scary, Jp31! I'm so sorry you've had to go through that! I completely agree with what all the other wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! I won't tell you what you need to do as that is on you to decide, but PLEASE do consider the consequences if you decide to stay with him. If you DO decide to stay with him, at the very least you will make that decision by carefully considering EVERY option at least! PLEASE STAY SAFE! We're here for you if you need ANY advice and support! THAT'S A PROMISE! WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK WITH YOUR DECISION AND YOUR LIFE! Sending many AWESOME, kind, safe, sweet, warm and WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, JP31, JUST LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE!

Trust me average people don’t live like this. Guys managing homeless shelters and organizing volunteers don’t have bodyguards. Id get out now before you get too involved.

I agree with divine on this one. If I experienced this it would creep me out and I would begin to feel unsafe. Would not want to live like that either always having people guarding like that and constantly watching.

is this for real?

So I did a little bit of research and it turns out that he has been in the local news three times. The nomination was listed in the newspaper. Today we went to his work place because he wanted to say hello to some staff. I met one of his guys who protect him and he actually turns out to be a really nice man. When I asked him about what is really going on, he replied "I look after him because he's a really good lad." the guy had his girlfriend with him also and we spoke when he went for a cigarette (obviously shadowed by his guy) and the girl said that it takes a little bit to get used to but there's absolutely no danger.

But what was really fascinating was an armed response unit drove past and my date went inside whilst his guard was at the door. The police came in and approached him, but they were again, really respectful and they were asking my date about certain people. So either the police aren't aware of any activities or he's clean.

Because he was only shadowed by one of his guys everyone was relaxed, his guard offered to take us both for breakfast tomorrow and have a day out. (obviously under supervision of his guys) I asked his guard if there is any danger to me, and his response was "there will never be any danger because we are always on top of things".

I know my date had a history before he moved to where he lives at the moment but apparently has cleaned up his act and he's giving back to the community.

The only thing that makes me wonder about this "mob" life is that his family is a big family, and very much ran by hierarchy, him being next in line to run the family.

I've never had a boyfriend before, this is the first time and he treats me so well, he shows me love and he protects me, which you must respect.

Another thing was that he received an email from a security service company offering him a position as personal protection officer. We will get to the bottom of it eventually.

Blatant lies. If there was no danger, then why the need for protection?

I would dig into this, if I were in your position, but I'm heedless to danger and find stuff like this amusing.

If you're not like me, I would strongly recommend walking away as amicably as possible.

I agree with Theoretical, there's a lot of dishonesty going on here. Even if you are not alarmed by the actual situation, you need to consider that this relationship is being based on dishonesty. You actually have no idea who this guy really is (his character) or what he has done. I realize that this is your first boyfriend but you are overlooking some serious red flags here. And plenty of men know how to turn on the charm and affection in the beginning....that can change in time.

I worry for your safety and well-being. He told you he had a "dark past." Coming from a man who needs armed men to protect him, I would assume dark truly means dark. As in, you would probably be disturbed if you knew the facts.

I would not recommend investigating further. I think you need to cut ties for your safety. Also keep in mind that those men aren't being paid to protect you. Regardless of what they may say, they are being paid by someone else to protect him. It seems like you may be caught up in the attention and drama of it all right now. That is dangerous.

Run and run fast

To the OP: are you saying he has a background and prior involvement with the mob? What was his prior history before he moved towns and "cleaned up his act"? This all sounds very shady and potentially dangerous. Red flags everywhere.

Why are you with this person anyway? A relationship is built upon trust. If he can't have an honest discussion where he completely fesses up about himself this is not a relationship at all - certainly not one you want to have.

I think it's unfair to judge him. I'm not alarmed because I have no reason to feel threatened. You only hear parts of the day that were eventful. Everybody deserves a chances regardless of who they were, or have been.

Today was a good day. We cuddled up, watched a movie and ordered food. We were talking about future, our lives up to now and other things. He explained that whilst being at "home" he was associated, not involved, but associated, with people who had no choice but to create a business plan to support themselves and their families. The area he used to live in has been dubbed one of the poorest areas in the country, as well as the most violent. He was only associated with these people because they were friends Before the involvement in activities.

He moved here to escape his mother as she was a drug addict who was violent and abusive, he wanted to start a new life where he could find a job and support himself. However his ten year relationship ended violently, when his abusive partner held a knife to his throat and had to be removed by police.

So today his guy picked us both up, with his old lady and we were driven to an all you can eat breakfast where it was free for us all. After that happen we watched all the Army planes land which was really fun. After, we were driven to an animal rescue shelter to look at adoptions for pets. There was just one thing that I noticed, and if anyone can dissect this behaviour then I'd appreciate the understanding, but please, don't be judgemental.

We were told he couldn't see any animals as it disturbs them. Fine, the guy filed a form but there was complications. My date stood up and walked over, staired at the receptionist and told her he wasn't very happy with how her attitude was. So, she called the supervisor and he sat back down, crossed legged, arms folded watching the woman intently. Once the supervisor came, he stood up and stood behind his guy and sighed loudly. They were very hesitant to comment but eventually we left. The mood was dampened, but definitely not dangerous.

Apart from that, it's been a normal day.

I think what people are saying is, this will not end well for you. You might be enjoying the feeling of power now, but how will you feel when he starts using that power against you?

It is probably already too late to get out. We should just wish you the best.

Answers he gives you regarding his past sound vague. He refers to his dark past, association, or "business" plan without actually telling you what it is. He might not be dishonest, but unless you left some info out of your posts, it seems clear he doesn't want you to know the specifics. I wonder why that may be?

One thing you could do is seek an objective third party that knows or has heard of your boyfriend, and hear what they have to say. Maybe local police? Just make sure you're not followed... im only half joking.

Anyways, most of the users here may be wrong, and he may not actually be of harm to you or anyone else. If nothing anyone says here sways you towards leaving him. At the very least, proceed with caution and acknowledge how truly unusual this situation is. Which you seem to be doing, to the best of your ability.

I don’t think anyone is judging. I think people are concerned given some of the details and may see red flags.

I am wondering too, or if it is just to wind people up. If it is true, I agree with those that say get out now!!

I do know one person who gets police protection: the husband of a woman who went to law school with my husband. However, he's an assistant district attorney who deals with a lot of high profile drug bases, so it's understandable. This guy, well, his stories don't seem to make a lot of sense, honestly.