People ****... I am SO DONE and SO sick of everyone

I think for me it must be the language. I am trilingual with English being my third, learned way in my adulthood so some slight nuances might escape me. When you say someone “took advantage of you”, to me it sounds the same as someone “used you”. So when you said he took advantage of your finances and your love but didn’t use you, it honestly made no sense to me. Now I think perhaps these two phrases have slight difference in meaning, which I am just not grasping.

And I am not grasping (and this time I don’t think it’s language) how loving words have more weight and meaning than abusive actions. I never in my life thought that words mean more than actions. I literally feel like I am in alternate universe. I refuse to defend abusers because they say all the right words. I can’t grasp it. And I rarely can’t grasp something.

So I am bowing out. Wish you luck in all this

To me taking advantage of and using are different. When someone "uses" someone, they do it knowing that they don't love the person, but want the advantages of the relationship anyways. Taken advantage of to me means that he took great leeway with my generosity, given who he is.

But respectfully, I understand. No hard feelings.

Awh this makes my heart so very happy!! I am very encouraged that I could be able to give you what you needed here! Sometimes I don't ever know if my help is truly appreciated but since you have helped me big time in the past I have no choice but to return the favor and continue paying it forward! I am grateful for you also and more than happy that I can make a difference in hopefully shedding light in this situation!

This is another perfect opportunity to spell out your boundaries. Even a simple "NO" would be sufficient to counteract the lies you face, no matter if you are being told "It's all your fault" in real time or if your inner self-critic is just being rude. You have every right to protect your space and guard your heart! Life is too short to allow anything but positivity and validation come take hold! And you deserve it!

Let me know if I can do anything else!

You are the best!!!!!!

TY! Yes life is far too short!!!! You've reminded me of everything I always tell everyone else! I need to say the same things to myself!

Your help is HUGELY appreciated! You've helped more than you may know!

My heart and soul are filled!!! You're the best also!

The positive energy you share definitely rubs off on others so when I've looked at your responses to previous threads, both mine and others, it's had a very good influence in how I help and approach others!

Do something good for yourself today! You deserve it!

I have to agree......hope things get better for you though.....

When that person tries to hijack your work, I think you could choose to stay standing (presentation, right?) and say something smooth like, That’s ok, Ill take it from here—insert name here. Then start right in saying its your work like you both rehearsed it that way. The smoother you can make it, the better.
In the personal situations, I would say put limits on the people you dont want to drop, and let the others play out their little dramas on their own. I am trying so hard to do this myself!

Thank you!!!

Thanks very much!!!

That’s very helpful, thank you!!!!

I had a project with a small group once. It was my idea and I did all the work. When we had to present it to the Board, the guy who was the up-and-comer jumped in to present it. I didn’t fight with him to stop him. As soon as questions were asked, I jumped in and answered them all. It was very obvious who had done all the work and knew what was going on. . So, it looked like we were all on board with ‘teamwork’, which was very emphasized in this project, but it was obvious to all who was the force behind the whole thing without me having to fight for recognition. Our team won the challenge because it had hit a home run (at that moment, but then failed after, lol, due to the cooperating agencies lack of funds) and also because the ‘young gun’ on my team was very well-liked by the Board. So, see how you need others even though you did the work. Perhaps, I’d have still been overlooked because people tend to choose their friends anyway. This time it was a win!

It would have been slightly different if we hadn’t decided the day before who would speak to what and if she had introduced me on the call.