Before I met my husband he was way over his head in credit card debt. He was barley keeping his head above the water. After we married and had our daughter what progress we had made in getting them paid off went down the toilet when he was hospitalized many times. He is now on disability and he had his debts discharged through bankruptcy. We are doing OK know finacially. We have enough to live on but that is about it. Luckly I am not into materialistic things. I am happy if I have a roof over my head and something to wipe my bottom with. LOL.

When I first became pregnant, my inlaws asked me to sign over gardianship of my daughter due to my mental illness and my husbands problems. I have been stable for years at this point. I was so angry. Of course I said NO. Actually they have yet to this day see me not stable. Because they are very well off, they told me they could do her better because they could buy the things she wants. I provide her with the things she NEEDS and some extra for spoiling just fine. I don't just want stuff handed to her. People who get stuff handed to them grow up not understanding the true value of things.

Now I am angry because they blame me for my husband having to file bankruptcy for HIS debt. I was not with him when this debt was aquired. They don't come right out and say it but its very obvious. Not to mention they live a long way away and I email them to keep them updated on my daughter and husband. We communicate through video sometimes. They often tells me how I am doing things with my child wrong. I am sorry but my husband is really messed up mentally and emotionally from there "Parenting skills", or should I call it abuse.

There behavior and attitude toward me actually is the only thing triggering to me. I am a damb good mom and I don't need anyone telling me any different.

[curley]

I can not blame you for your anger. I would say you are very stable. You also have the right idea about the right way to raise your daughter as far as the value of things. Judging from what you have said here I think you are a damn good mom too. I kept expecting the post to say your husband agreed with his parents. I am so glad that is not true. I think it is great that you keep his parents updated. It would be easy to ignore them. All you can do is tell them she is your child and you and your husband are in agreement about the way she should be raised. Many grandparents forget what type of parents they really were. You are in a very frustrating situation. Hopefully one day they will be realistic and admit what a good mom you are

[Perna]

As my stepmother use to say, "What do they know!" :-) It sounds like you're doing just great and I'm glad for you that they live far away so can't try to meddle more. I would think of them as "jealous" of you.

One of my good friends was child 7 of 8 when her family came on hard straights and a childless aunt wanted the two of them, she and her sister, #6. The last 3 children were much younger than the first 5 and the wealthy relatives were "offended" at so many children and tried doing that give-them-to-us-thing. Their mother made the same rude noise :-) and told them where to go with their idea.

[AAAAA]

Twirls,

Shame on them!!!! If they are in a position to do things financially for your child they should just because they are her grandparents. They should not need custody to give her things. What foolishness!!!! The size of your bank account has no bearing on what type of a parent you are!

Thank you everyone for the support. I am just so frusterated. Why do the mentally ill have to work harder at everything to make people think we are good at stuff. Average work does not equal average work of a "normal" person.

[Ocean13]

You've been kind to his parents to share your daughter's accomplishments and their son's problems. But I'd be afraid they will try to use this all against you later on. I'd continue to show them all the positive stuff about your daughter but I wouldn't tell them the negative stuff about your husband. It may also make him feelbad if they bring it up to him to keep him down. They are trying to keep you down too by talking down about your parenting skills. I very much believe you must Empower yourself. You cannot take on all the burdens of your husbands. Let his parents believe what they want. It's obvious they are living in their own beliefs not the truth. The truth is nothing to them. Empower yourself!!

Ocean

[youOme]

Don't let their judgements bother you. For one, what people see on the outside maybe completely different then what is actually happening in the home. I wouldn't tell them anything personal about finances. Just them judging and blaming is probably a act of their abuse, but at this point the can't hurt you, your husband, or child....so let them talk all the crap they want. I deal with in laws and I have friends that deal with in laws...it's apart of life and marriage. I hope all gets better for you.