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#501
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![]() Have Hope
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#502
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He was sent home from work early because of his personal problems with me. Apparently I left a message for her on a recorded line. He tells me it was played out loud on speaker and that everyone in the service department heard it. I highly doubt that's even true. He's a pathological liar. Now he believes his job is in jeopardy which I also doubt. They love him, they need him, and he's one of the highest earning service advisors there. He is reactive, just as I am, and he's spouting BS, I do believe.
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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
#503
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#504
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Between he and his co worker? YES.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
#505
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Of course. I am talking to male coworkers. Never ever would we say such a thing to each other. He is having an affair. Maybe not physical yet. Maybe work needs to interfere
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#506
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I hope they DO interfere. He deserves to get in trouble. Yes, he IS having an affair. And he's still denying it, even though I caught him RED HANDED.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
#507
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OMG. I cannot control my rage. He is home, and I continue to scream at him. I cannot help myself. I cannot control my rage. It keeps coming and coming and coming out.
He apparently got a warning at work. Now he's blaming ME for making waves for HIM, when HE was the one being inappropriate with his co worker. He is leaving for the night to go sleep somewhere. I bet at HER house, though he CLAIMS he's going to a hotel. Yeah right.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
#508
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He also threatened to call the landlord while I was yelling at him. I told him that I will call the police and will follow up on their offer of a restraining order because I have been afraid of him.
I told him just now that if he even tries to mess with me one single bit, that I have all evidence of his abuse towards me documented in texts, that I took screenshots of and saved. I told him I will show those texts to legal authorities and I also fibbed and said I have an abuse advocate who is helping me. (which I will have soon enough, in place). He knows not to screw with me even an inch, or I will nail him to the wall and will show all those texts to those who matter.
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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Nov 23, 2020 at 06:23 PM. |
#509
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I usually prefer to take a high road but I’d be tempted to call his boss and show him their texts. I’d show those to a lawyer too
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#510
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I will show the texts to a lawyer.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
#511
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How did he explain phrases like thinking of you and hope to have you in my dreams? What’s the explanation? Her inviting him has an explanation somewhat. But what is his rationale?
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#512
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He downplayed ALL of it, as though he were not having an affair, as though he's NOT lusting after her at all, and it's "not what you think" kind of thing.. He bs'ed me in other words. I don't recall exactly his excuses.... but it was TOTAL BS.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
#513
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I find it curious that he started with her as soon as you said you are divorcing him. He figured he might need a place to live within few months and if she is single, then his issue is solved. But he has to lay it so thick to get her ready to pair up with him in few months. I bet. That’s why he is in a rush. Not the first time he lays it thick because he has no place to live
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![]() Have Hope
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#514
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__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
#515
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I'm happy he got a warning, if that's even true.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
#516
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I have given him absolute HELL. I informed him that I can take his car away in August. I told him what a lying f-ing scumbag he is, about 20 times today. I told him I will get a restraining order and will get him out of the apt if need be. I told him to find a place to live for Dec. He says he has no place to go. SO I will leave. My close college girlfriend told me it would cost me $900 for the month to live elsewhere. I am going to do it. As long as I don't have to be around HIM.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
#517
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I woke up at 4:30 AM and couldn't sleep. My rage has not gone away.
Yesterday, I went ballistic on him. Absolutely ballistic. Even though I was going to divorce him anyways, the betrayal still hurts me deeply and immensely. I am floored that he has defended his so-called integrity to no end to me for the last year, demanding I trust him implicitly about other women, yelling at me about it even, and then he does this behind my back?? He was also lying in bed with ME at the time when he wrote to HER saying "see you in my dreams". So, he snuggled and cuddled with ME all night, thinking about HER as he went to sleep!!! I am SICK. Literally SICKENED. I barely ate a single thing yesterday because of this.
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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Nov 24, 2020 at 06:48 AM. |
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#518
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He continues to lie to me and deny that he was having any kind of an affair, and he denies cheating on me. He is such a lying scumbag.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
![]() KBMK
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#519
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Talking to him and letting my rage out on him is accomplishing very little, except that it's cathartic for me to dump on him. He's apparently in big trouble at work. He's afraid he's going to lose his job. I don't want him to lose his job at all because of me, but he does deserve to be in trouble for what he's done.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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#520
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It's really sick @HaveHope. So sad. It is so good that you have seen through his mask, though. My ex could say with a straight face that he did not hit me, and it chilled me to the bone, and made me question EVERYTHING, and took two months after that to actually separate.
You will have a better life without that lier in it! ![]() |
![]() Have Hope
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#521
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You are feeling so much pain and rage - maybe you can try to use that energy to actually get that restraining order. Don't just threaten, get it. He has no place to live? Not. Your. Problem. You get the restraining order, and you're living in the apartment, then he does not live there anymore, name-on-the-lease or no. His name on the lease just means he's liable for the rent, not that he has to live there. He can have the police come and escort him in to take his belongings, and leave. It has happened to many many many people. He's a grown-up boy, and he'll be fine. You can get a divorce, and he can do whatever he wants, and you can move on with your life.
Also, be careful. He could just as easily record you screaming at him and use it to get a restraining order against YOU and kick you out. Try to channel those feelings into forward motion, if you can. |
#522
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Hey @Have Hope- I hope you dont feel any sort of guilt over wanting to get divorced or that you deserve to be cherished and appreciated. People are so quick to say "divorce" him (not here) and its like you're supposed to just turn off your feelings, like its so easy. Trying to cuddle or snuggle or even just laying in bed with you while texting her is really low and IMO an attempt to play on your emotions and manipulate you.
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"I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
![]() Toughcooki
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#523
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I don't know that I should get a restraining order. It could backfire on me, and he could decide to stop making payments on his car lease, which is in MY name, in retaliation. I don't want to anger him in that way, you know? I didn't think of the fact that he could have recorded me. I will have to be sure not to continue yelling at him from now on.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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#524
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![]() How do you think that him texting her while in bed with me is an act of manipulation to play on my emotions? He didn't have any clue I would find those texts between them. Oh, and no worries... I don't feel one bit of guilt for divorcing his sorry a-s-s.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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#525
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![]() That IS most chilling what your ex did! Holy moly. What a crock!!!! Sociopathic, really. And it IS sick. My husband is MOST sick. He makes me want to puke... ON HIM. LOL.
__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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