I think my husband may be a narcissist? What do you think?

Hey @Have Hope the whole situation is a mess you are not a narcissist on the least and of he is it’s toxic. I hope your new therapist can guide you on how to get away feom him.

@sarahsweets , thank you, my friend!

From what you listed, he is a classic case, and they do not change for the better.....ever and are not 'helpable'. In my experience, most therapist have very little if any expertise of handling victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse. They receive zero training. I am very well versed in this area. If you would like to PM me I can share some great information that may benefit you and help you move forward.

Thank you. He’s impossible. I have no hope in therapy for him.

(((( hugs ))))

''I see that he has a disorder and that he is mentally and emotionally incapable of being in a healthy relationship with me'' - this sounds very much like a someone I used to know (irl) A very ''damaged'' person (who also abused others)

I hope it goes well with the new therapist

@BarefootBeach, I may PM you... and thanks.

My 1st appt with the new therapist is in a half hour. He is supposed to be versed in abusive relationships AND in personality disorders. His speciality is helping people extricate from difficult relationships -- just what I need. I truly hope he will be helpful to me.

@Fuzzybear, thank you.

My husband indeed is very damaged. I've given up all hope on him trying to improve his behaviors at this stage. I just want out.

Best of luck with you appointment. A knowledgeable and experienced therapist is critical in this area. IMO, unless people have experienced the insidious affects of narcissistic abuse, the abused can sound like dramatic, exaggerating, "angry" people, and be dismissed by some therapist. That happened to me, yet I stayed with the therapist and was blamed and told repeatedly that I was playing the "victim"....I was a victim, not playing one! He told me "It couldn't have been that bad!" I knew I should have left, but was hooked and very unknowing about a lot. I wanted help to recover and process this pain and abuse; so I uncovered every stone I could, on my own and found hope and knowledge, which lead to power. I hope today goes well!

That's a horrible therapist right there for you - my word - telling you that you were playing victim?!?! That's victim blaming! How awful!!!! That can do soo much damage to someone who HAS been a victim of abuse!!!



And thanks so much - I just had probably the best therapy session I've ever had. This guy is well trained... very well trained. I can tell he is going to truly be able to help me. I am SO thankful because I've never had an effective therapist - not one - and I've been in and out of therapy my whole life.

Great news about therapy!!!

VERY. I cannot tell you how RELIEVED I am.

We discussed my whole life's history. He was very validating and told me I've had a very hard life, which I have.

He also gave me some tidbits of advice to help me cope right now while I endure my marriage until I can leave.

He said to give ZERO credibility to what my husband says that is negative towards me. ZERO. He said this will help to protect me from harm, from his oppression and from his abuse.

More to come... I am really looking forward to my next session. I really like this guy and sooooo wish I had found him sooner!!!!!

This is great news! And excellent advice from your new therapist to give ZERO credibility to what he says that is negative towards you. And however many times he may repeat or repeat variations on that theme of negativity and abuse.... ZERO x INFINITY (which still is ZERO if I remember) (Papa bear just said ''undefined'' but he then said that ZERO is probably the best answer)

It is VERY important to protect ourselves from THEIR TOXICITY and HARM. And from their oppression and their abuse.

Does your therapist accept clients/patients who are not in the USA? (no need to answer) I have found (and I know for a FACT that I am not alone in this... that in this forest irl therapy etc is about 30 years behind the USA. It is possible this has changed but I am VERY doubtful )

It's incredible how a few months (or even sometimes a few sessions) of therapy with a GOOD therapist is more helpful than years of therapy with an ''average'' or sub optimal therapist. Everyone deserves a good therapist, and for those of us who have survived multiple abuses (and this includes me) it is essential.

Thanks @Fuzzybear.

I'm astounded by the number of ineffective and bad therapists I've had. I can already tell that my new one will be very effective.

I am sitting here alone with all my fears and thoughts. It's most debilitating. I am scared to leave my husband, but I know I must do this for myself.

Great to read you are in very good hands. That is a wonderful feeling of hope and direction. I am new to this forum because I was desperate to share to anyone who would listen about my experience with a covert narcissistic therapist. The title of the post was "Beware of the covert narcissistic therapist.", if you want to read it. It was an extremely damaging experience and there is practically nothing written about these people, probably because I understand the profession is fraught with them. Wishing you the very best!

I also think that any therapist who accuses someone who has experienced, or is experiencing, Narcissistic abuse of ''playing the victim'' is a horrible and useless therapist. Grrrrrrr

I'm so happy for you that you have found an effective therapist (after years of sub optimal therapists)

I can relate to this. Grrrrrrrrrrr. I have also thought that almost nothing is written about these people because there are more than a few of them

Thank you.

That is most disturbing about your past therapist. SO wrong.

One of my more recent therapists would roll her eyes every time I needed to talk about my ex fiance. She clearly did not want to discuss him anymore, and thought I should be beyond it. She was terrible.

And thanks Fuzzy.

Tell him about your concerns.

I cannot. He twists everything around and accuses me of having the exact problems he has, without taking any ownership of his own problems. That's an abuse tactic. He is quite abusive. I am leaving him, so there's no working on the relationship at this stage.

She did many times

At least 10-20 different times throughout our marriage.

He could be dealing with mental health issues.

It’s been addressed as well