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  #51  
Old Jun 21, 2021, 07:47 PM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
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Some problems dont have solutions. We do the best we can.

Eta - like we cant go back in time and change things, no matter how much i want to!

Last edited by unaluna; Jun 21, 2021 at 11:42 PM.
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  #52  
Old Jun 21, 2021, 08:38 PM
Anonymous49235
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I’m definitely doing the best I can with what I got. Right now, at 32, I got an emotional maturity of a 10 year old (by my estimation). It’s hard to develop socially and emotionally when you’re constantly emotionally abused by the outside world. Or you’re constantly taking a hit emotionally every time some nice person, out of the blue, turns on you.

Just like a child wouldn’t physically grow and develop if they’re going hungry and getting beat up, people who been frequently emotionally traumatized don’t develop emotionally
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  #53  
Old Jun 21, 2021, 09:27 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leomama View Post
I’m surprised my support forums hasn’t put any restrictions on her postings . They’re pretty generous with her.

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Why? She is coming here for support/venting/sharing. There has to be a serious reason for posts be restricted.
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  #54  
Old Jun 21, 2021, 09:30 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Originally Posted by leomama View Post
Interesting. Even though members keeping telling her the same thing? Good for her.
I don’t think it’s against guidelines.
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  #55  
Old Jun 21, 2021, 09:34 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby2011 View Post
I’m definitely doing the best I can with what I got. Right now, at 32, I got an emotional maturity of a 10 year old (by my estimation). It’s hard to develop socially and emotionally when you’re constantly emotionally abused by the outside world. Or you’re constantly taking a hit emotionally every time some nice person, out of the blue, turns on you.

Just like a child wouldn’t physically grow and develop if they’re going hungry and getting beat up, people who been frequently emotionally traumatized don’t develop emotionally
Lack of emotional maturity is caused by many factors ruby. Not just by abuse. Some of it is likely caused by a disorder. You must work with a professional and please tell them exactly what you tell us, all these situations. Maybe even show this thread. But you have to work with them consistently. Not just in crisis
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  #56  
Old Jun 21, 2021, 09:38 PM
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leomama leomama is offline
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Why? She is coming here for support/venting/sharing. There has to be a serious reason for posts be restricted.

Sometimes a forum determines that a poster needs to get real world help, obviously that’s not the case here. I thought there was something odd (or off) about ruby in chat. The forum seems to think it’s helpful for her to keep posting. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m being hostile, I’m not, I am trying to understand the situation.
  #57  
Old Jun 21, 2021, 09:41 PM
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leomama leomama is offline
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I don’t think it’s against guidelines.

No probably not. If the forum determines its helpful for her to keep posting she will.
I see some other posters are getting very frustrated with her however.
  #58  
Old Jun 21, 2021, 09:42 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Originally Posted by Alive99 View Post
I know I said I wasn't gonna respond anymore....but....

1. Yeah she's frank, too frank, makes her a target easily to hostility, impatience, intolerance. That's indeed an ASD trait.

2. She's too angry and entitled at the same time though maybe she's just venting strongly. Which fans the flames further.

3. Everyone here is frustrated because...? Is it that hard to handle that we are unable to help her?

Is it that hard to detach and let people be as long as they are not trying to actively harm us? Really?

All this hostility is not going to make OP learn anything faster.

Think about that, all of you.

*bows out of thread for real*
Who is “everyone” hostile and frustrated? If you see hostile posts report them to moderators, other than that I see no need to play forum police.
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  #59  
Old Jun 21, 2021, 09:43 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Originally Posted by leomama View Post
No probably not. If the forum determines its helpful for her to keep posting she will.
I see some other posters are getting very frustrated with her however.
That’s on them if they are frustrated. It’s easy to skip threads that rub people the wrong way or are too upsetting. We all should exercise self care
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  #60  
Old Jun 22, 2021, 07:18 AM
Anonymous49235
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With just my disorder alone, my emotional maturity woulda been around 21 right now. That is absent the constant emotional trauma. Hence, I’m just 10 years old emotionally.
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  #61  
Old Jun 22, 2021, 07:33 AM
TishaBuv TishaBuv is offline
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Originally Posted by ruby2011 View Post
With just my disorder alone, my emotional maturity woulda been around 21 right now. That is absent the constant emotional trauma. Hence, I’m just 10 years old emotionally.
It’s good that you recognize this. What kind of emotional support would you like to have? People can’t reassure you that you are right in your dysfunctional behaviors and faulty thinking. We can say we feel for you in going through what is very painful for you. How can we support you here in a way that will help you feel better or learn to act in ways that will lesson these conflicts IRL?

Also, if you do not see a therapist, can you please explain why you are not?
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  #62  
Old Jun 22, 2021, 08:01 AM
Anonymous49235
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
It’s good that you recognize this. What kind of emotional support would you like to have? People can’t reassure you that you are right in your dysfunctional behaviors and faulty thinking. We can say we feel for you in going through what is very painful for you. How can we support you here in a way that will help you feel better or learn to act in ways that will lesson these conflicts IRL?

Also, if you do not see a therapist, can you please explain why you are not?
The earliest available appointment at the walk in mental health clinic is in October. I took that appointment. No other counselors outside the clinic accept my insurance
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  #63  
Old Jun 22, 2021, 02:08 PM
Alive99 Alive99 is offline
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Who is “everyone” hostile and frustrated? If you see hostile posts report them to moderators, other than that I see no need to play forum police.

I wasn't specifically talking about you at all. I saw the atmosphere getting worse so I felt the need to stand up for OP.

Has nothing to do with playing forum police or running to the moderator, because I think people here are adults and are able to look into themselves without having to run to the moderator all the time.
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  #64  
Old Jun 22, 2021, 02:37 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Originally Posted by Alive99 View Post
I wasn't specifically talking about you at all. I saw the atmosphere getting worse so I felt the need to stand up for OP.

Has nothing to do with playing forum police or running to the moderator, because I think people here are adults and are able to look into themselves without having to run to the moderator all the time.
I didn’t think you were talking about me. I never said or thought that. Why would I?
  #65  
Old Jun 22, 2021, 04:25 PM
TishaBuv TishaBuv is offline
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The earliest available appointment at the walk in mental health clinic is in October. I took that appointment. No other counselors outside the clinic accept my insurance
Gosh, it’s a shame the mental health system is so bad you can’t be seen until October, but I am glad you have an appointment! I hope you’ll go and don’t stop seeing the therapist once you start so that you can get professional help with this issue. It really is something that is beyond us well-meaning peers on here and beyond you trying to help yourself.
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  #66  
Old Jun 22, 2021, 04:53 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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It’s horrid you have to wait till October. Could you ask your GP and pdoc to help you with earlier appointment? It’s sooo long!
  #67  
Old Jun 22, 2021, 07:09 PM
Anonymous49235
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It’s horrid you have to wait till October. Could you ask your GP and pdoc to help you with earlier appointment? It’s sooo long!
I would but almost no other therapy clinics take my insurance. I explained that it’s the only insurance I could afford and to please make an exception. Nope.

I’m on Obamacare and they have very few offerings. The policy I do have is pretty good and covers almost the full cost of care. And zero deductible. I don’t even pay a penny of premium each month bc they rebated me $1000 for not using my insurance much.

My monthly premiums are deducted from that $1000.

Given how exceptionally good my policy is, what are the providers problems that they can’t accept my insurance?
  #68  
Old Jun 22, 2021, 08:21 PM
rjdb rjdb is offline
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How about at your work? I find they don't give a ****.
  #69  
Old Jun 23, 2021, 11:07 AM
Anonymous49235
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Originally Posted by rjdb View Post
How about at your work? I find they don't give a ****.
I noticed
  #70  
Old Jun 23, 2021, 04:50 PM
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eskielover eskielover is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rjdb View Post
How about at your work? I find they don't give a ****.
Why should they? Work is for working not for supporting another workers inappropriate behaviors
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  #71  
Old Jun 23, 2021, 05:44 PM
Anonymous49235
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When I worked at Arby’s, a coworker’s mom died in a car accident. She called in the next few days to grieve. Everyone was extremely supportive of her, including me.

When the GM at McDonald’s blew off my every attempt to talk to him, something in me shattered inside. Before I was ever rude to anyone (to protect myself), I cried just like that Arby’s coworker had. People told me to toughen up and then proceeded to look down on me, especially when I couldn’t finish 2 of my shifts bc of my grief.

So why should they care? Idk. Why were they so caring with my Arby’s coworker?
  #72  
Old Jun 23, 2021, 05:45 PM
Anonymous49235
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Btw, I tried to apply for VR and they said I lost too many jobs for the same exact reason. They’re not gonna open my case
  #73  
Old Jun 23, 2021, 05:50 PM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
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So why should they care? Idk. Why were they so caring with my Arby’s coworker?
You really dont see a difference between the two situations?

Maybe you need to volunteer at a hospital or someplace where people could use your help.
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ArtleyWilkins, lizardlady
  #74  
Old Jun 23, 2021, 06:11 PM
Anonymous49235
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Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
You really dont see a difference between the two situations?

Maybe you need to volunteer at a hospital or someplace where people could use your help.
The only difference I see is the degree of how bad it is. It’s definitely worse to have your mom die. Aside from that, both situations are about losing someone who used to care about you. She lost her mom through death. I lost this person through him suddenly deciding to reject me.

Coworker: he didn’t walk out on you. He transferred.
Me: no he didn’t walk out on YOU. Or anyone else who works at thus store. He transferred but he still cares about you guys
  #75  
Old Jun 23, 2021, 06:32 PM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
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Originally Posted by ruby2011 View Post
The only difference I see is the degree of how bad it is. It’s definitely worse to have your mom die. Aside from that, both situations are about losing someone who used to care about you. She lost her mom through death.
But there isnt a "degree" of death, it is absolute. So the situations are not comparable. Plus, your GM was never legally related to you.

It IS clever to notice similarities between situations that other people do not see - that is often how jokes are created. Tragedy plus time equals humor. But i am not sure what your equation is.

If you do not have empathy for other people, why do you want other people to have empathy for you?

I understand not having empathy - that is how i was raised also. Empathy seems very expensive.
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ArtleyWilkins, Quietmind 2
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