Are people in your life extremely unsupportive during your hard times?

That makes sense that it could be that others told him about all that. It could've been insensitive gossip even. From people who felt irritated or annoyed about hearing about your personal emotional issues. People can do this sometimes, unfortunately.

In those 6 weeks when he was gone but did not yet do the first action that made you feel he was pushing you away or avoiding you, do I interpret this right that for 6 weeks he didn't at all show up at the workplace? And before that the last time you saw him was when he left the workplace and got transferred? And if that's true, then was his behaviour still his usual behaviour towards you, i.e. not distant at all yet? No change yet?

And yes, it is normal to feel like people "take a part" of us when a close relationship ends. That is part of the recovery process, to regain that "lost part" and finding ourselves again.

The first 6 weeks he was gone, he showed up twice. He was not cold and distant either of those times. Subsequent times he showed up, however, he became that way. I did nothing to trigger that.

Did you talk to him those two times? If you did, was it your usual way of talking to him or did you also talk about how much you miss him and the like?

“That makes sense that it could be that others told him about all that. It could've been insensitive gossip even. From people who felt irritated or annoyed about hearing about your personal emotional issues. People can do this sometimes, unfortunately.”

^This scenario of what caused him to distance from you are my exact thoughts, too. See, both Alive99 and I were able to INFER this conclusion from the information you told us. Are you able to do this, Ruby? I am trying to understand more about your disorder and how it works. It seems like your disorder is blocking you from accurate social perception. Do you think that’s true?

How I perceive this overall situation with Ruby from the little interaction and reading this whole thread (but no previous threads), is that Ruby is trying to understand more, but she has a lot of emotional issues and blocks in the way for now.

In part because of how her brain may have limits for social processing, yes and in part it may also be the emotional and/or other abuse. These both can cause issues with social processing. I.e. simply having less ability to easily do social skills (or learning about them takes longer than for most people) VS trauma from abuse will also cause very similar issues, that make the person look like they just have no capability to do social skills even if they had existing social skills pre-trauma. With Ruby, again I think it's both. (Of course this is just my own opinion and thoughts.) And btw I would hardly call trauma a disorder in the sense I would refer to a disorder with the brain, though it can leave lasting effects too. But that's my subjective view


By the way that - that it was other people influencing the GM - is only a working hypothesis for me for now, because I've not been there to witness the actual situations. It's a believable one, but it never hurts to confirm with more information. Even if you (general you) cannot always have all the information, you can of course have the most likely hypothesis and work with that in the end and be satisfied that you may never know more but you can still learn from the whole thing.

I did and it was usual way.

OK then yeah the above is possible, unfortunately.

When you don't contain your emotions and "stream of consciousness" around others who you don't have a long-term established, equal and reciprocal, close relationship with, then it can result in all kinds of issues, result in more emotional reactions from those people where those emotions will make them take more action and then it can all get out of hand like this and tarnish your reputation even in the eyes of people who previously liked you. Or they may still like you but get uncomfortable with not being sure how to maintain a relationship with you without it getting even more out of hand.

And if that's what happened here, then your GM didn't actually walk out on you willfully. Like others already said in this thread, he just does not want to get the whole relationship with you get more out of hand, hence the distancing. And sure, it would be great for him to communicate with you about it, but it can be very hard for people to do the optimal communication about emotionally sensitive issues.

I really hope you can learn from this case about where not to become too open and display all your emotions and thoughts on the spot, but be selective instead about where you share yourself, and I hope that you'll be able to move on okay.

(I edited my post above, added more, that I left out at first)

Thx for giving me hope, those of you who said he might possibly still care about me. That means he has a chance of coming back around

You are just looking for what you want to hear. I’m not sure this thread has been helpful, if this is your faulty thinking take away.

This is what I was afraid of.

Ruby, I hope you will go back to the list I gave you and the advice others gave you about behavior in the work place and focus on that.

This GM was not a close relationship. He was not even your direct supervisor. He was someone at work who was nice to you. He made it clear on numerous occasions that it was no more than a work relationship in the way he kept boundaries with you (when you said you'd miss him and he said he wouldn't miss anyone, etc.). You need to let go of this before it gets out of hand again, and focus on doing your job well.

Go to NAMI and get support there. Look for places outside of work to make real friends and let your co-workers be co-workers.

I do plan on giving him space, lots of it. I only meant that he’ll treat me like he treats everyone else once I succeed at giving him all the space he needs.

What do you mean by coming back around? He was transferred, doesn’t work there, you aren’t friends. Let’s try putting effort into getting help as has been suggested by many of us or at the very least try to distract yourself.

There is zero need for him to be back at all

Do you go for walks? Gym? Read? Watch some movies? Tv shows? Do house projects? Swim? Bike? Walk? Do some crafts? Cook? Redecorate? Do coloring books? Anything to stop bothering with these managers. Is there anything you might enjoy or need to get done at home? There are many ways to take your mind off things

I just want him to treat me like he treats my coworkers whenever he borrows stuff at my store. That’s all I’m asking. And it might possibly happen if I give him space

I think to give him space, that would include you not talking about him anymore to coworkers either. Because he will hear about it later and so that's part of his space so to speak. If that made sense.

Talk about it on here or in the NAMI support group and that should be already quite helpful and it will help with you giving space that way.

I’ll be a good little girl and Santa will be proud of me come Christmas time. He’ll shower me with presents.

I wanted to request a reduction in hours today but my current GM was in an in store managers meeting that lasted half an hour. I didn’t approach them or bother them. I simply waited the whole time,

Then I left before they were quite finished. Did I do a good job being patient? Will my supervisor notice what a good little girl I been today when I request my reduction in hours tomorrow?

"Good little girl"? Ruby, you're an adult. They will likely not notice because they cannot read your mind and had no idea you needed to speak to them.

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Among my issues are right now is the thing called Age Regression. People who experienced trauma frequently resort to that. Until now, I never knew it was a thing and thought I was crazy. Yet an article got sent to me on Quora and I know now I’m not alone.

When Arby’s kicked me to the curb, I had the worst form of age regression which I displayed at my remaining Sam’s club job until it ultimately got me canned from there as well. (At least now I know working 2 jobs simultaneously is too much for me). Y’all may recall from some of my earliest threads from 2017-2018.

I then got my job at McDonald’s and didn’t display ANY signs of age regression until 6 weeks ago. By now, I been working at this particular store for 3 years,

My above post about being a good little girl is too real to be bearable. Age regression btw is when an individual, who suffered extreme stress or trauma, reverts to a childlike behavior and mental state. Their IQ may be intact, but they socially and emotionally devolve. In extreme cases, they behave exactly like an infant.

Yeah, when I read that post of yours above, I instantly thought of age regression. Because in many other posts you are reasonable and factual.



I suggest that when you detect the state in yourself of age regression, you go and be alone, rest, relax until you are able to recover. Wait with sharing your stream of consciousness in such states until you get in therapy with a therapist you feel comfortable with.

In the meantime, you may try and journal, if you feel the need to write out things.

This was an earlier post on this thread. It sounds like this age regression is something you’d like to try out and see if you get good responses from people. Perhaps you are wondering if they will be more kind and gentle with you knowing you have been through trauma and age regression is a way to alert them to it.

Your emotional state seems very complex and I feel it is beyond my non-professional capabilities to delve into. You really do need to work with a therapist IMHO.

Personally, I’ve had some similarities to you with interpersonal relationships gone awry. Your question “Are people in your life extremely unsupportive during your hard times?”, my answer personally is “yes”. Some (not all) were outright cruel and emotionally abandoned me. There was nothing I could do to change them to love and care for me. They took no pity even knowing I had an emotional disorder.

I’m sorry you are having these difficulties. Whether the people who you feel devastated you were managers at work or (for me) were your family, you are traumatized just the same. I do feel for you.

Yes age regression how I alert people that I need help recovering. Aside from that, it’s also how I cope when I’m by myself.

I’m not kidding right now when I reveal that I’m currently checking for monsters under my bed.

Age regression isn’t uncommon. Doing it by yourself or in the family isn’t wrong. That’s how people often cope. But don’t try it at work or other settings outside of home. People won’t appreciate it. Address it with a therapist and support group too

I don't know what prompted you to say this, but that's not being supportive on a supporting forum. If you don't like what Ruby is saying.. you are free to not visit her thread. There is no need to restrict anyone's post. That's censorship. We don't need it on this forum. Just don't look if someone is offending you with issues that they're currently having in the real world.

Not everyone can afford a therapist.. this platform is their only way of releasing the issues that they're having. We need to be supportive, not restraining people.

I think you might have missed the part where I said the reason a forum may do that is, and it wasn’t to censure the poster for no reason. Please don’t assume bad intent.

My GM said today that she’s sure next time the previous GM comes up in for supplies, he’ll talk to me. I just have to be good.

Should I take it with a grain of salt?