advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,043 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 12, 2023 at 09:58 AM
  #401
Open Eyes is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Starlingflock

advertisement
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,043 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 23, 2023 at 12:08 PM
  #402
@Starlingflock. How are things going?
Open Eyes is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Starlingflock
Starlingflock
Member
Starlingflock has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: Usa
Posts: 240
1 yr Member
92 hugs
given
Default Mar 25, 2023 at 04:12 AM
  #403
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
@Starlingflock. How are things going?
thanks for asking. its hard to say. i think life sucks right now.
now my 14 yr old child is asking me to allow them to smoke weed. apparently their therapist is condoning it and wants me to be okay with it. the reasoning is that its the only way my child can go to school without killing themselves or self-harming. their therapist told me that my child is struggling to want to be alive every day.
before that, my husband told me he doesnt care about our kids' emotional support. oh yeah he says i dont need his 100 dollars a week more than he does.
my profession is miserable
theres a few more things that i cannot even handle typing.
i feel like giving up.
i feel like a failure.
im feeling unsafe everywhere or at least very sad and alone, or at least triggered, confused and tired of being so vigilant.
i have no one to comfort me or reassure me that things are going to be okay. trying to breathe and relax.

Last edited by Starlingflock; Mar 25, 2023 at 04:24 AM..
Starlingflock is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes
Starlingflock
Member
Starlingflock has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: Usa
Posts: 240
1 yr Member
92 hugs
given
Default Mar 25, 2023 at 04:37 AM
  #404
my child told me they have an addictive personality and are afraid of being like their dad when it comes to weed.
today my boss told me about someone's 15 yr old having a relationship with their therapist. im not thinking that is happening here or going to happen, but bad timing today.
my child was in a weird state and they were high and i don't what affects what.
im afraid my children are going to overdo it. like their forefathers and foremothers.
i think of my drunk dad.
maybe none of it matters.
hmmmmm.
Starlingflock is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,043 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 25, 2023 at 05:08 AM
  #405
Ok, first of all a therapist should not be telling a child that age to smoke pot. If your child is severely depressed then she should see a psychiatrist to see what medication might help.

You are not a failure. You are doing the best you can given your circumstances. Age 14 is a challenge in different ways. Is she a freshman in high school? If so, freshman year is the hardest year. Also thatís probably been further complicated due to how Covid really disrupted and isolated children. This has led to many children struggling with depression and anxiety. Also many have fallen way behind with their school work and many are barely passing which has been bad for self esteem.

Children need structure and activity and socializing. Any normal challenges have been magnified due to Covid. So please know that you are not the only parent dealing with a lost depressed child.

Do you live near a horse farm? Maybe your daughter can look into donating her time helping to groom horses. Maybe you have an animal rescue near you? Never underestimate the therapeutic power of animals. Itís worth looking into.

Itís ok to feel, just make sure you are not feeding into negative feelings.

Glad you managed to muster up strength to share. ((Comforting caring hugs)).
Open Eyes is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Starlingflock
 
Thanks for this!
Starlingflock
Starlingflock
Member
Starlingflock has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: Usa
Posts: 240
1 yr Member
92 hugs
given
Default Mar 25, 2023 at 05:13 AM
  #406
on second read, "husband" says he needs his hundred right now more than i do. and in the next text says he'll pay in two weeks.
hopefully he meant he doesnt care if i blame him for things, in general. not related to the kids.
Starlingflock is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Open Eyes
Starlingflock
Member
Starlingflock has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: Usa
Posts: 240
1 yr Member
92 hugs
given
Default Mar 25, 2023 at 05:26 AM
  #407
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
Ok, first of all a therapist should not be telling a child that age to smoke pot. If your child is severely depressed then she should see a psychiatrist to see what medication might help.

You are not a failure. You are doing the best you can given your circumstances. Age 14 is a challenge in different ways. Is she a freshman in high school? If so, freshman year is the hardest year. Also thatís probably been further complicated due to how Covid really disrupted and isolated children. This has led to many children struggling with depression and anxiety. Also many have fallen way behind with their school work and many are barely passing which has been bad for self esteem.

Children need structure and activity and socializing. Any normal challenges have been magnified due to Covid. So please know that you are not the only parent dealing with a lost depressed child.

Do you live near a horse farm? Maybe your daughter can look into donating her time helping to groom horses. Maybe you have an animal rescue near you? Never underestimate the therapeutic power of animals. Itís worth looking into.

Itís ok to feel, just make sure you are not feeding into negative feelings.

Glad you managed to muster up strength to share. ((Comforting caring hugs)).
thanks wise Open eyes. yes, i too was thinking that my child needs to get involved in something before going to pot.

i switched insurance plans to be able to access more resources for us. starts after april 1st. its all virtual support, but better than nothing right?
my child does see a psychiatrist and is on medication. but i will need to find a new one after the insurance plan changes. im very concerned about medication changes. whenever the medication changes, there is a flare up?
Starlingflock is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Open Eyes
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,043 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 25, 2023 at 06:47 AM
  #408
Wait and see, your psychiatrist may take your new insurance. Also, if you do get a new psychiatrist he/she can prescribe the same meds.
Open Eyes is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,043 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 25, 2023 at 08:10 AM
  #409
Your husband is a loser who puts his addiction above his own children

That is the typical addict narcissistic mindset.
Open Eyes is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Starlingflock
Member
Starlingflock has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: Usa
Posts: 240
1 yr Member
92 hugs
given
Default Mar 25, 2023 at 08:22 AM
  #410
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
Wait and see, your psychiatrist may take your new insurance. Also, if you do get a new psychiatrist he/she can prescribe the same meds.
they dont take the new insurance. i asked them before i made the switch. i think the meds will have to be switched at some point. its just another thing im worried about.
now my son might get fired. late again. ugh. i hope he moves on in a good direction.
Starlingflock is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Open Eyes
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,043 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 25, 2023 at 12:05 PM
  #411
How old is your son?
Open Eyes is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Starlingflock
Member
Starlingflock has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: Usa
Posts: 240
1 yr Member
92 hugs
given
Default Mar 25, 2023 at 08:12 PM
  #412
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
How old is your son?
21. i'm sure he can get a better job if he does get let go.
Starlingflock is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Open Eyes
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,043 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 25, 2023 at 09:02 PM
  #413
Thatís good, try to be optimistic instead of falling into catastrophizing. You have been facing some challenges and itís going to take you time to buy of your sense of security.
Open Eyes is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,043 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 26, 2023 at 12:12 PM
  #414
If someone is under 25 using marijuana can harm brain development.

Your child can choose not to abuse drugs and alcohol like her father.
Open Eyes is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Starlingflock
Starlingflock
Member
Starlingflock has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: Usa
Posts: 240
1 yr Member
92 hugs
given
Default Apr 02, 2023 at 02:40 PM
  #415
im feeling better this weekend than last weekend.
ive been having inner conflict and confusion about whats right to do.
i took some time to map out my relevant traumas, triggers, and my reactions to them.
im trying to be positive, focus on the positive.
still extremely stressed and anxious, low mood and energy.
still hating on myself a lot, doubting myself, so need to work on that.
Starlingflock is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Open Eyes
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,043 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 02, 2023 at 03:24 PM
  #416
Have patience with self
Open Eyes is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Starlingflock
Starlingflock
Member
Starlingflock has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: Usa
Posts: 240
1 yr Member
92 hugs
given
Default May 04, 2023 at 10:30 PM
  #417
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
Have patience with self
im trying! thank you.

i just noticed---i feel more real than i used to. i'm healthy now.

:-)

life is very hard though! i am very exhausted!!! i meant to be zen today and i sort of achieved it, but mostly i was just too burned out to get worked up.

22 year marriage anniversary is nigh. been separated almost a year too. i was sad to lose something that had been in place so long and so much put into it.

with all this space and time from him...ive gained much common sense.

whew.
Starlingflock is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope, Open Eyes
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,000 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,605 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 05, 2023 at 04:42 AM
  #418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starlingflock View Post
im trying! thank you.

i just noticed---i feel more real than i used to. i'm healthy now.

:-)

life is very hard though! i am very exhausted!!! i meant to be zen today and i sort of achieved it, but mostly i was just too burned out to get worked up.

22 year marriage anniversary is nigh. been separated almost a year too. i was sad to lose something that had been in place so long and so much put into it.

with all this space and time from him...ive gained much common sense.

whew.
I left my ex abusive husband 7 months ago... we are almost divorced. And I feel GOOD! I am at peace again, and I am experiencing happiness again. I feel revived and refreshed.. a huge weight has been lifted.

I hope you are at peace and feel happier, despite life being hard these days! Relish in the good feelings you have and those moments of joy and peace.... this is how life IS supposed to feel.


__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Starlingflock
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,043 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 05, 2023 at 04:45 AM
  #419
You are finally seeing the dysfunction that became your normal that was unhealthy for you.

Itís going to take you time to learn how to live your life yourself n a healthier way. There is a grieving that takes place in this process along with uncertainty.

As time passes, even though you still face uncertainties, you begin to feel stronger. It does require patience with self though 😉
Open Eyes is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Starlingflock
Starlingflock
Member
Starlingflock has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: Usa
Posts: 240
1 yr Member
92 hugs
given
Default May 07, 2023 at 02:02 PM
  #420
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
I left my ex abusive husband 7 months ago... we are almost divorced. And I feel GOOD! I am at peace again, and I am experiencing happiness again. I feel revived and refreshed.. a huge weight has been lifted.

I hope you are at peace and feel happier, despite life being hard these days! Relish in the good feelings you have and those moments of joy and peace.... this is how life IS supposed to feel.


thanks and that's great you're out of your bad marriage.
i feel peace about ending my relationship. still have a way to go untangling our lives, so that makes me nervous, but the hardest part is done.
ive had a pretty horrible last few weeks at work, and am almost shaking with nerves about going back for another week of it. theres no one to relieve me, so i cannot take a break. i was having an impossible time controlling my exasperation at work the last couple weeks. not good.
Starlingflock is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:14 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.