Gf is diagnosed with depression and panic disorder

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Originally Posted by rlacksgh2498 I agree, finding it wasnt that easy but i have found one in amazon that contains 1200 mg epa and 900 dha. They say you can take up to 3 g of omega 3 but there may be some side effects like frequent bruising, low blood pressure, dizziness, allergies and discomfort in the stomach. Buts its been very known that omega 3 is very safe. Its really cool how all these things that help with mental health, i was already doing it without even sitting down and actually learning about it. I take daily supplements like omega 3 vitamin c d magnesium and daily exercise. I hope I can deliver these information to my gf to at least get her bodily functions back to normal so that she can rule out as much as she can.

Great information to share with your GF. It is interesting when we are just doing things that help our mental health without even knowing it.

For me, I now own a little farm & being outside doing work around my farm & before it gets overgrown in the summer I love to walk through my woods & along the streams. Got better exercise when my horse was alive. Moving hay bales, & 50lb sacks of feed sure kept me in shape. Now, just clearing land & chain sawing trees that need removed & mowing even if it is on a lawn tractor is wonderful outside work & for me the outdoors has always been good therapy for me. Lol....mowing is my time for meditation & peace cause nothing distracts me unless I get stuck in fencing ..lol.

Go figure, I went from computer design engineer who played hard games of racquetball at lunch with the guys I worked with to small farm owner who loves country life which really fits my passions & health needs much better. My neighbor raises grass fed cattle & his meat is healthy & delicious & another friend raises goats for meat & until I get my own chicken coop set up, I have friends I get fresh eggs from. The food we eat makes a huge difference in health too, both mental & physical. Lol....never saw this life in my future though I fell in love with farms when I was 8. I can see how much our actual lives to have a great bearing on our mental states & our health in general. We need to be where we are at peace though I loved my engineering career too

My gf actually majored in psych back in college but now this is working as a marketer. Its good that she has found a job that she likes but she works at a startup. So i dont want to say bad things but startup companies like be little shakey. As you need to be able to pretty much do everything there. That is what my gf as gone through. Because startups are not known to the stable identities there is always a thought of losing the job out of no where. With that, there is always an anxiety of being the best because you can get laid off a lot faster than other companies. The startups are so fast pace and so much responsibilities and peer pressure from the ups. So my gf has switched departments now on the second, maybe a third one if she accepts this one. So im sure this is creating a lot of anxiety for her vs if she had worked at a bigger company. Even though she may have all these big dreams that she wants to achieve, she actually mentioned to me that she has a lot of things thag she wants to do, especially in terms of having a successful career. Its good that the goals are set but i think it is also the reason why depression can happen. The body cant handle the stress that is caused by chasing after those goals.

Then again clinical they see depression into three parts, biological, psychological and social. Biological meaning the actual brain and the chemical balances, even the functions and size of the brain, psychological like ambition, goals, competition with peers and social like being able to let out your heart talk about the deeper thoughts freely without having to hide it and bury deep within.. with all those combination or wrong triggers affects the depression as stated in todays studies

I can relate to your GF. My parents weren't educated & I always thought their issues were because of that so my drive was to get my college degree & have a responsible career. Back in the 70's, my dad didn't approve of my going to college but I did it anyway & worked hard. Changed majors as a junior from the AA I got in music to Accounting & Computer Science. Ended up getting married before getting my degree but when got pregnant, my H said I could just take a 5 year break from school....like I was only going to have 10 more months before graduating. First serious battle though many others before that because my degree & a career was what I said even before the wedding was my priority & I told him I didn't want to get married if that was going to be an issue. He agreed till it happened. I held strong to my goals. Had our daughter, finished my degree & had a career job offer before graduation. I actually loved my career but aerospace computer design was always dependent on military contracts so job stability wasn't great either. Managed to have an outstanding career for 15 years....then EVERYTHING fell apart & depression hit. Later on I realized the depression was really bad because my career was actually my escape from my bad marriage so when the escape was gone I had nothing good left. Aerospace crashed & there were no jobs then so I didn't even have an income to leave the marriage & take care of myself....that left me feeling totally TRAPPED with no way out. Didn't see all that until a few years after I was finally able to leave. So career goals are great but one needs to see a bigger picture of life & have an awareness that I didn't have at the time. Lots of details left out as to what made it so bad.....but that is the long complicated part.

I definitely understand her drive for career goals but life can take unexpected turns & part of being able to weather those things is being adaptable....something at the time I had no intention of being because I had fought everyone too hard to reach my initial goals. I just wish I knew then what I know now.

I think is can be very difficult to marry partner with depression and panic because you must become carer for that person for whole life

Please do not to get marry but wait till partner is become solid

I think that's just a really great life advice over all.

I know that from logically, it's very important to very set career goals that you want to achieve because that ultimately leads to living the life better with stable income and feeling of achievement is very important to one's mental health and boost confidence. Sure everyone wants to make banks in their life time and be financially free. But you do have to realize that not everything goes as you plan and you need to have some sort of exit points in your life. Alternatives when you can't achieve your first goal. I think that's really big there. I haven't experienced this myself yet because I am still young so I do have the trait for chasing after the money than quality of life.

What good does it make when everything else is crippling down just to chase after your career goals? Family, friends, love, relationship, health, and MENTAL HEALTH are all falling down? I think it's a cruel way of saying this, but you need to know where you stand and where you belong per your potential because if you dream too big with with circumstances, I think your dream will shatter harder and bigger which in many cases lead to burnouts and even depression..

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Originally Posted by rlacksgh2498 I think that's just a really great life advice over all. I know that from logically, it's very important to very set career goals that you want to achieve because that ultimately leads to living the life better with stable income and feeling of achievement is very important to one's mental health and boost confidence. Sure everyone wants to make banks in their life time and be financially free. But you do have to realize that not everything goes as you plan and you need to have some sort of exit points in your life. Alternatives when you can't achieve your first goal. I think that's really big there. I haven't experienced this myself yet because I am still young so I do have the trait for chasing after the money than quality of life. What good does it make when everything else is crippling down just to chase after your career goals? Family, friends, love, relationship, health, and MENTAL HEALTH are all falling down? I think it's a cruel way of saying this, but you need to know where you stand and where you belong per your potential because if you dream too big with with circumstances, I think your dream will shatter harder and bigger which in many cases lead to burnouts and even depression..

Great insight....yes.

I learned to analyze my talent & potential when I changed my major. I just wish I had paid attention to the red flags I saw dealing with my husband's potential & attitudes before the wedding rather than it hitting me over the head after. Growing up with dysfunctional parents made recognizing dysfunction in others more difficult because it becomes a norm rather than a dysfunction when around it all your life. I sensed a problem but had no way of putting my finger on it or defining it. Gut feelings often get ignored because of that.

Unfortunately when everything crashed, I had no clue where to go from there especially when stuck in a bad marriage. Funny thing, after I left, my passion for caring for animals has been realized, something that never could have happened otherwise.

I wish i could share these great insights with my gf to make herself better analyze her situation and be able to objectively see what is happening causing the depression.

But all I can do is wait. However she has been looking at my instagram stories which i indicate that as something positively that she she still curious about what I am doing and stuff.

Yeah definitely i am not resorting this to marriage at all. Definitely wants her to heal back again before we start progressing again

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Originally Posted by rlacksgh2498 Yeah definitely i am not resorting this to marriage at all. Definitely wants her to heal back again before we start progressing again

Wise choice. I know no one in my family understood the depression I had because they said it was "so not like me". But then again, I didn't understand it either cause it was a new challenge in my life & so much of my past (unknown to me) went into the depression

I agree with this. Most times people who are not educated in depression mental illness belived thats its all due to the person being weak, lazy, unmotivated, etc. this seems to be more common with older folks who are a bit stubborn.

But the truth is that they were not like this and the reason why their function collapsed due chemical imbalance in the brain which those neurotransmitter affect the person’s behavior.

Its like saying to a diabetic patient lower your sugar level with your will. Thats impossible and its not something that they made themselves ill. Who in the world wants to be depressed and become detached from the world?

Sure depression is part of our emotion. But clinically stated that if the symptoms of depression lasts more than 2 weeks its considered a mental illness for depression

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Originally Posted by rlacksgh2498 I agree with this. Most times people who are not educated in depression mental illness belived thats its all due to the person being weak, lazy, unmotivated, etc. this seems to be more common with older folks who are a bit stubborn. But the truth is that they were not like this and the reason why their function collapsed due chemical imbalance in the brain which those neurotransmitter affect the person’s behavior. Its like saying to a diabetic patient lower your sugar level with your will. Thats impossible and its not something that they made themselves ill. Who in the world wants to be depressed and become detached from the world? Sure depression is part of our emotion. But clinically stated that if the symptoms of depression lasts more than 2 weeks its considered a mental illness for depression

They knew with me it had nothing to do with being weak, lazy or unmotivated but more like burnout because 70-80 hour work weeks were my norm while practicing my flute & performing in chamber groups....but one can only go at that pace for so long without burnout happening & when not able to function at the level one is used to & throw other factors in, depression will hit & not always easily recovered from depending on other circumstances

She texted me today,

Asked me if I had time today or tomorrow to meet.

I said yes I'm available. Want me to come to your house right after?

She's still worrying about me, "Aren't you going to be tired after work?"

I wanted to show I am doing fine by saying "I've been eating well and sleeping well so I'm not tired, I stopped drinking coffee at work too".

I also asked if she had rested well but her work seems to be very busy still.

She said she might be weak today but probably will clock out on time. But I've been always weak so doesn't matter if we see today.

So I told her I can come tomorrow instead since both of us are working from home tomorrow.

This is the part that I got the mix feelings, she said babe if you're not tired I want to see you today.

I wasn't sure if she just wanted to get it over with, or really wanted to see me.

But few minutes later she realized she has a meeting at 9, so we pushed to tomorrow.

I kind of told her my feelings, I said I also really missed you very much but I guess I'll come down tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere so you just do your things.

I asked her when I should come, she said whenever you're comfortable since I'm working at home tomorrow.

Then I ended by saying Ok, I'll call you when I leave at 1

I'm having very mixed feelings about this.. I know I am overthinking but as a human being I can't stop. We live about 40 minutes away from each other so logically, she wouldn't make me drive all the way to her house to just to tell me we should break up and send me home right away? If she wanted to end things, why didn't she stop me when I said "I'll come over to your house?" Instead meet at the middle or something. I do have few things at her house, does she want me to take my stuff from her house? or she wants to say it face
to face to break up with me. Even during this conversation, she called me babe.

A lot of thoughts are going on right now but tomorrow is the D-Day, we will find out.

Wait & see....be prepared for either....it was out of your hands when she told you she needed to rethink the relationship

It's been a good weekend. But bad weekday.

She reached out to me because she missed me so much.

Even though she may not have get her mind all set but she was missing me very much

I've told pretty much that I can. I told her I am not going anywhere, I'll be by your side, I'll help you do physical labors in the house.

She was being very appreciative and accepted my help.

She looked a lot better than the last time we hung out. She was struggling very bad with panic attacks but seemed to died down a lot. She is taking fluoxetine twice a day I believe and other panic disorder meds. We've been just playing games to get our minds of the stress.

But today seems like her conditions has worsen. I know that this is very common, one day its good and the next day worsens.

Her work is the number one stressor right now. Looks like her work from home privilege is being taken away because her coworkers are mis-using them. So that is creating an anxiety. Her senior told her to why not take few days of this week and get yourself back in the game as it seems like it's impacting her work productivity as well.

Her work doesn't know her conditions and I personally don't know if letting the HR know would be a good choice. She works at a startup so I don't know if they will let her keep working with those conditions or have reduced work load etc.

She is kind of stuck in a place but I've told her take the offer that her senior said as she needs as much as rest she can possibly can. Surely few days won't get her 100% better but every little things count right? I'm being careful with this because this could be have a reverse effect and trigger more anxiety...

I wanna ask her to look for a different company than this one as it seems to be very stressing. I believe her specs at this point, can land jobs on any company but the process won't be easy either...