I get so frustrated with myself!

<font color="purple"> I know everyone develops emotionaly at their own rate and all...but it's frustrating that I'll be 17 six months from now or so, and I've never had a crush or anything! Meanwhile, everyone I know has been dating other people for years now. Anything that I get that even resembles some kind of crush (which is really just a crapload of friendship/family-like attatchment) is pretty much my guy friends, and they all have girlfriends anyways, so even if I did feel any feelings it wouldn't matter anyways!

I feel like I'm at least four years behind everyone else when it comes to the emotional department, which is kind of ironic because in the mental department I've always been pretty advanced (okay...minus the fact that I like things that people say that I'm too old for like Pokemon).

I guess my biggest "fear" about this issue is that by the time that I'm actualy READY, everyone will be alot more expirienced and I'll just be to shy/foolish/silly and just have it end up in rejectment. (Gee, isn't that what EVERYTHING seems to boil down to with me, huh?)

I feel like Charlie Gordon when he became a genius but still had to "grow up" ...but on a smaller, less extreeme scale. (because I may be smart, but I'm not a genius) ...incase you were wondering, that was a reference to Flowers for Algernon (my favorite book)

...it doesn't help that everyone likes to playfuly tease me about not being in a relationship (my brother is bent on me being a lesbian, and my dad jokes around randomly, like saying your boyfriend/girlfriend called. I've gotten used to that really, and I joke back about it most of the time instead of getting defensive. My mom and stepdad don't kid around with me like that though)
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It will be okay. I didn't get married until I was 39 :-) I'm sure you'll get there before then. There's no race or comparison and no way you can practice or know what will be "needed" to have a relationship with any certain person. I think I had 1 date in high school, didn't go to the prom and now, that doesn't matter (was a tad painful then but in the larger scheme of things has turned out fine).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being patient and waiting for the right one. Imagine when I was your age I was getting married and pregnant with my first child. Life gets hard when you rush into things, especially when others are doing it. Take your own time and don't allow the pressures of your peers to influence you or make you feel out of sorts. Your doing the right thing.

Kaika,

You sound JUST FINE to me. Too many people grow up too fast. Be your own person, and have faith that God has just the right person already picked out for you. I didn't meet my husband until my mid-twenties.

Hugs,

EJ

Hey chica, I just want to ask if you have any plans for after high school...because often times, the people who are more mature than their friends in high school have a wonderful time after high school. For now, I would say, just try to enjoy the friendships you have because you will be thankful for them for the rest of your life. But if you plan on going to college or finding a good job after high school, keep an eye out for people who are at your maturity level. Surround yourself with caring people whom you are comfortable with. If you surround youself with friends that you want to know for the rest of your life, you will most likely end up meeting lots of potential boyfriends. Just keep good people around you.

You're not alone. I'll be 19 this October, and although I have had a crush (for the past 5 years, thereabouts...), I was too shy to do anything about it, so I haven't ever really had a boyfriend before. (I say "really", because I did sort-of have one when I was 14, but we only ever went on three "dates", and those felt more like two friends hanging out, really.)

Anyway, like other people have said, there's no need to rush into anything if you don't want to! I know I felt a lot of pressure in the first few years of high school to get a boyfriend (that's one of the reason I said yes when I was asked out aged 14), but as I've grown older and wiser I've decided to wait until I can find someone who likes me for me, lack of experience and all. If they're bothered by the fact that you're not experienced, they're not worth your time!

I agree, rejection is hard, and I've never been too good at getting over my fear of it. Hopefully someone else will have some advice there.

(((((Kaika))))) Ok, I’m going to date myself here, but back in the day when I felt the way you do now, I listened to a Debbie Boone song called “Patience [is all you need to pray for]”. Please listen to it! I looked on you tube and it’s not there, but it has to be on the web somewhere.

Love will come when you’re ready for it and not a minute sooner. Don’t settle, you’re a wonderful girl and Mr. Right is out there, don’t settle for Mr. Ok, because he comes around first (and he will)!

Sorry the correct name of the song is It's Just a matter of time/

Hey Kaika,
You are definitely not alone in this. I'm 24 and have rarely dated. I'm in graduate school and have plenty of opportunities to meet people, but haven't really felt the need or desire. I figure when I'm ready it will happen. It can't be forced anyway. As for the teasing, I totally understand! People are shocked when I even mention the possibility of having some romantic relationship. But it's okay. I've got stuff I want to do in this life and so I don't feel like I am missing out on way or the other (unless I'm really depressed, than I'm a lonely). I also sometimes feel relieved when I talk to my friends who are having relationship problems or so desperately want to be married that they can't function without being attached to someone and I realize I don't want to be that way.

Hi, so many good pieces of advice on this thread.
But here is my motherly advice for you ............

Appreciate yourself for who you are and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. If you aren't ready for relationships, great! Watch what is going on around you and learn from that. This way you CAN avoid all that awkward, silly teenage behavior.....as well as alot of hurt that goes with it.

As for feeling inexeperienced, so what. There are plenty of people out there feeling the same way. Heck half the people who say they are doing this or that probably arent anyways. So stop worrying.

Focus on you and your interests and don't let peer pressure control you. In the end, you will be the happier one for it.

I had a friend she could be you except we are older than 17. Everything right down to the last detail was just like her. Anyway she went to art school, then spent a year traveling Europe, then she went to Jamaica and then spent a year over in Australia. She never had a boyfriend until she was 28 years old. He is a great guy and well worth the wait. He is Australian with a killer body and a great accent. They are traveling again soon. I still don't know where I look at her and she is happy and content to be by herself. I love and respect her and I think you sound great as well. Men come and go when you want them but you have to live with yourself forever.