Partner now hates me... confused

Was told last night by my boyfriend that he now hates me... all because I get frustrated and 'snappy'

We had a fight cos I was stressing and anxious out in a huge crowd and had dodgy people harrassing me.

Turned into us coming home and him proceeding to ignore me and if I said anything he'd be hateful and told me he hated me at that moment and wanted me gone.

Still continued on today and I feel like i'm losing it... how can someone be so nasty after being so nice??

Yeah I have issues but i'm not that horrible...

So the last 24hrs i've been spent mainly sobbing uncontrollably or really sick... I also passed out unconscious and smacked my head into the floor.. from taking 2 sleeping pills that wouldn't normally do that...

My weekend can't get any better right now..

(((((((((((((nicole84))))))))))))))))

im sorry that you b/f is being a jerk, not really any advice for you other than that it might be a good idea to try and ask him why the change of attitude towards you
and tell him the issues you have are a illness not something you chose to have,
again sorry
(((((((((((((((( nicole84))))))))))))))

Thankyou... yes I think its hard when he thinks I am deliberately this way.

Not the fact that I suffer depression and anxiety and am working through it, not always an easy thing

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nicole84 said:
Was told last night by my boyfriend that he now hates me... all because I get frustrated and 'snappy'

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<font color="purple"> ((( HUGS ))) - </font> I am sorry this is happening to you - and while I know your bf is probably a little frustrated with you right now I still have to wonder WHO is that he is really upset with, from his past? - what has been resonated in him from the past (due to your actions) that is now disrupting his present.

...... it is my opinion that we often over react to the present when and if our wounded past is resonated.

That is very true... he did have an ex gf that was a pretty bad relationship... and he didn't really date anyone for a long time after that.

I just hate feeling like i'm such an awful person I know I have hard times but I'm never directly horrible...

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nicole84 said:
That is very true... he did have an ex gf that was a pretty bad relationship... and he didn't really date anyone for a long time after that.

I just hate feeling like i'm such an awful person I know I have hard times but I'm never directly horrible...

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IMO - his resonation probably goes further back than his last gf - I would look more into his care givers as a child...... for our past wounds have a way of effecting us even if we do not remember them.

((( HUGS ))) - and hang in there for I am sure you are not a bad person, just misunderstood from your side of the fence.

(((((Nicole84))))) I'm so sorry. You're boyfriend is being very unkind.

That's harsh and unnecessary...you don't deserve that. If I was you I'd tell him that "hate" is a strong word and it could break your relationship. There's other ways of expressing anger towards the one you love. I'm sure he still loves you but was saying something very stupid out of anger.

It sounds to me like his abrupt, extreme conflict reflects his problems not yours. Like you say, you aren't "that" bad but his comments are. I think the discrepancy is something in him.

is he still acting that way today?

my boyfriend and i have both said things we didnt mean in a fight, just like every couple does, im sure. its afterwards that matters, i think. if he can't handle your depression and cant be there to support you, then maybe you guys arent right for each other. it takes a lot of patience and i have lost several boyfriends because of my craziness. finally, i found someone who stands by me no matter how psycho i get lol.

its really hard to do, but ive been told by several people that, if someone makes you mad, you should look at whats wrong with you, not them. so if he has a problem with your issues then the problem isn't really with you, as others have said. if youre trying, thats the best you can do. and if thats not good enough for him, then maybe you guys should talk about that.

I think "Hate" is a pretty tough word for anyone to swallow even if you don't suffer from anxiety and depression. My ex was a abusive alcoholic and never once did he directly call me a name or tell me he hated me.

I agree with Rhapsody. What is there that is more deeply rooted? Those kind of harsh words take more than love to fix - there's something else there........

Maybe couples therapy???

I'm sorry you had to hear such cruel words.

I remember when my ex-husband surprised me with the news that he wanted a divorce - felt like it came out of the blue. My first reaction was to beg for additional couples sessions with our T, then I found a letter he had already faxed to his parents. He had just left it sitting out, for some reason assuming that I wouldn't be able to read it (or so he said) because it was in Italian (despite the fact that I studied Italian, French, Latin, Spanish for over 12 years). In it, he said "... sometimes, I find myself hating her". Well, he didn't need to say THAT twice - I would never stay with someone who felt that way about me.

At the same time, it made me really reexamine my own participation in a relationship. Was I really despicable to someone I loved? Was it his issue, or had I brought it on myself?

What I decided is that I can't control his issues, but I could do my best to live with integrity, and that meant controlling my behavior to the very best of my abilities. I try to be someone who can look myself in the mirror every single day and know that I did the best job I could. So, my mission for myself, and my advice to you is to take responsibility for your own behavior, and to heck with the rest.

Wishing you peace - I am sure you are hurting right now