Did I do something wrong? What next?

Hello,

I'm in a situation where I really am not sure what do to next and whether I have been wrong.
I thought I knew this friend of mine well and I could trust her with everything and we would talk over the phone regularly since we are living far apart from each other so we only get limited opportunities to meet up. The times did meet up we were both truly happy. This is why I asked if she wanted to go on a 2 week holiday with me during the study break. She agreed to this and I bought the flight tickets and extensively arranged everything. Now it is only 2 week lefts before departure and she has told me she does not want to go. Originally she was OK in travelling with me (she has a boyfriend) so i doubled checked with her but is now reluctant because of this and she also has a bad history of illness and kidney infections so she cited she didn't want to catch an illness that may prove to be fatal abroad.

Of course her change in decision has devastated me not only because I wanted to just spend some more time with her (I am spending a year studying in Japan so I have limited time to see her) but also because I will not get much refund from the $600 tickets I bought and I don't think I could go alone after what has happened (How can I explain this to my parents?)

I was persistent by sending her messages asking her to reconsider but she took this the wrong way and thought I was only caring about myself and called me a stalker due to the frequent messages. So naturally I am shocked.

I have told her I will respect her decision but I know that this will be long in my mind.

Have my actions been wrong? Is our friendship over? What can I do? I thought she was first and only genuine good friend since being here in Japan but maybe I have been made to look like a fool.

How long have you known this friend?

Have you considered asking her to help with some of the cost from the ticket she is not using now?

Prior to me arriving in Japan, I knew her for two years. We met up when she was in my home country on an exchange programme.

I felt I had a friend I could confide in while I am in Japan since she was the one who made me feel welcome upon arrival and made every effort to help me get settled.

She mentioned that she would like to pay the cancellation fee but that was before I tried to persuade her for a rethink. She seems to be ignoring me right now. So maybe we both need time to think this over.

Maybe her bf is influencing her decision here?

She talked it over with her bf when I initially suggested the holiday. Whether or not his stance has changed I do not know but it may be the likely cause.

I'm just really let down that she has labelled me a stalker in her messages. Maybe I should move on but it has been so hard to find proper friends in Japan that I really don't want to lose her.

Does not sound like you're doing anything wrong from what I've read. Like Rhapsody said maybe she's being influenced by her boyfriend. You have to understand that maybe she does not have the same feelings for you that you have for her.
Either that or she's grown lethargic of long distant relationships since they take effort. I dunno it's hard to say.
But as far as you're concerned you played your cards straight.
Have you considered going to see her instead?