Why do people get so uncomfortable when I obsess over them?

That’s where you are mistaken. You’ve been told over and over that your behavior is wrong. You hassle, weasel and rationalize your behavior in a pitiable way to make them feel sorry for you, but when they stick to their boundaries you get mad and say it’s them. It’s not, it’s you. When you don’t get what you want you lash out and say it’s other people’s fault. YOU are the only one who has control over YOUR behavior.

Ruby,your reply really surprised me.You shifted blame to someone else.Losing control over your own behaviours and projecting your frustration and anger on innocent bystanders that are your customers and then claiming you did nothing wrong .Somebody else is to blame for this all.Just wow.Now I think I understand why people are running away from you,including your favorite ones.

I've been following this thread for some time now, and quite honestly, I'm surprised people here at PC haven't run away too!

Have you tried *just* sharing your problems with your therapists and not "problem dumping" on one untrained in mental health person all the time?

I can vouch for the fact that having someone using one person as a "dumping ground" for problems and wanting reassurance from that one person all the time is extremely draining, particularly when the person recieving all the problem-dumps has serious stuff going on at the same time as recieving the problem-dumps from someone

For example: I have a friend who I have known online since 2011, and she got into the habit of problem-dumping on me in 2013 (and probably 2012 as well, although I don't remember much of that year due to my own traumas), it got so bad that I had to cut off contact for a few years due to the sheer amount of traumatic stuff I was going through at the time as well, I couldn't help her into the mental health lifeboat as well as get in myself - if this makes sense

Sometimes, people have to cut others off, in order to save their own mental health

Had I not done so for myself, I would not be alive now, I would of died from suicide, due to how much bad was happening in my life back then, plus I had her problem-dumping on me constantly as well and wanting reassurance all the time.

This time around, although I let her back in, I've had to put boundaries up, so if all the bad stuff kicks off again I will stand a chance at not getting suicidial again.

Maybe one day, these people will feel able to unblock you from everything, I can't promise this cause I'm not them.

All I can do is share from my own experience that they might want to help, like I wanted to help my friend, but be unable to due to stuff they are living through.

I'll likely start a new thread to post what I remember from 2012, as and when I gain memories back, all I know for sure is I had some major stuff kicking off back then.

edited to add: you don't NEED to tell that one person all your problems all the time, yes sharing can be helpful, but that's where trained professionals come into it. Not "problem dump" on one person from work the whole time.

They might not be mentally able to be on the recieving end of what Ruby's doing, as well

I don’t think it’s fair to say they aren’t “mentally able.” They are there to manage business or perform job tasks and not provide extensive mental health support. Regardless if they are able to, it’s neither time nor place for any of it. It’s a business

To this day, she still cares when my coworkers have personal problems. She hadn’t cared about mine since last September cuz she already written me off as a whiner. She still insists, to this day, my coworkers aren’t whiners, just me.

I’d not worry about other coworkers, and it’s very unlikely they complain every day.

The bottom line is managers are there to run the business. Not provide mental health support. Ask HR if there is any mental health counseling, talk to your doctor, therapist, crisis hotline, support group etc

. Managers aren’t there for taking care of your personal or medical issues

What i mean is they might have their own mental health problems, they cant be expected to put someone else in the mental health lifeboat at the expense of themselfs going under

Thats what i was trying to say

Well there might not have mental issues or they might have. No ways to know. They aren’t there to manage anyone’s mental health anyways. They are there to manage fast food business.

I’m only stating what I saw for the past years or so. She cares when my coworkers have personal problems to this day. She used to care about mine but STOPPED long ago. She even told me it’s cuz they don’t bring stuff to her ALL THE TIME and thst their problems were actually serious. Mine wasn’t. Thst made me hurt so I just continued “whining” and reasoning with her

The only mental health responsibility they have is their own mental health - as in they are responsible for making sure they are mentally stable, thats what i was trying to say and probably doing a bad job of saying it idk