Dating After Divorce and Life Transitions (continued)

I'm getting really triggered and want to change the subject.

Today I am going to focus on my job search, my job applications and my course.

Hugs to you, Have Hope.

I tend to think that it's easy for people to forget that our lives are A LOT more complex than just what we post here. Most of us do the best we can with what we have in the moment.

FWIW, you are very inspiring to me with the proactive steps you are taking to get more training for your job situation.

I know you said you want to move past that particular discussion, but it reminded me of something said in a support group I belonged to a few years ago. Some of the members were lamenting some past choices they had made in regards to sex. One of the moderators said, "when nothing else in life feels good, sex still feels good." That's true, and more so for some people than others, especially when part of that is seeking comfort. It is what it is.

(Hugs)

@ArmorPlate108 thank you, dear.

Your hugs and kind words mean more to me than you know... it really helps to hear you say these things right now. I was beginning to feel truly awful.

And I agree - sometimes, when life feels so awful, we seek out anything that will make us feel better, including sex. And I think that's where I was coming from, especially on the heels of a most terrible and failed interview that resulted in a rejection letter 20 mins after the interview ended. I have rarely felt so rejected in my life, as I did after this one particular interview. OUCH.

I am glad my taking a course is inspiring to you. It's time for me to strengthen the areas where I am weak, and to show employers that after being let go, I decided to shore up my skill set where I had failed in my last job.

I think taking some classes is a great step. I know I was hired for my current job specifically because of classes I took online during the pandemic.

I think courses in areas where you know you aren't the strongest may be good. Not only will you learn specifics, but you'll get practice which can help build confidence. So when an interviewer asks in the future why you left your last job, you can say, my skills weren't the best match. Since leaving.that position, I've taken courses to improve my skills." But don't stop there. It's your chance to interview the company.... immediately ask the interviewer... what skills are most important for success at XYZ Company?" Doing this honestly answers the question and effectively changes the focus.

The state where I live offers some support in the form of free practice with interviewing skills and some free advice on resumes, negotiations and how the prepare for interviews. It wasn't anything fun, but I did find it very helpful to practice with a person who could coach me to better answers than I was giving. Does your state offer services like that?

I don't know if my state offers services like that... I can look into it.

And thanks for the tips! That's very helpful!!!

My original post on the original thread:

I am starting a new thread, based on the below thread.

I let him back in and now I am kicking myself #2

So, to summarize:

I am unemployed since January, looking desperately for work. But, I don't just want ANY job - I want a great employer where I will stay and grow for years to come.

I am going through a divorce with an abusive narc husband, who lately has been trying to bribe me with money to stay together. Our divorce will finalize in approximately 100 days. Our 4th wedding anniversary would have been this year in May.

I am starting to date a new guy, but I am uncertain of him right now and I don't know where it's headed. I have been overly excited to have met someone new, I've been getting ahead of myself with this guy and need to consciously slow myself down and get to know him and his character.

I am looking for a potential roommate to share expenses and rent. Right now, I live alone, I am on unemployment benefits, and cannot meet all my expenses. I also cannot move because I cannot afford to move. Mom is helping to lend me the money to make ends meet, and I will pay her back.

I am looking for compassionate support through all of the above life transitions....

from a surprise layoff to a new job, transitioning from marital status to single status again, dating after divorce, and dating after abuse.

I had a good time with Jay, my new guy. He came over last night after the show, and we had a nice night together. I feel good about things right now with him. We cleared up some of my questions, which mainly had to do with wondering if he wants to continue to get to know me, and hang out more together.. and he does.

He kisses very differently than my husband, and I appreciate it. My husband was not a good kisser, and I've been told I am... it could be a chemistry thing, but with my husband, it was always wet and sloppy. With Jay, it's very deep, passionate, slow, sexy and sensual. I really like that a LOT. He's different in bed than my husband too. Lots more chemistry and it's sexy. I am enjoying it.

And... at this stage, I have reached out to several people from my last job to either get a recommendation for my LI profile, or to network.

Not ONE person has responded to me, except for my boss, who only replied to my 1st email.

It's maybe inappropriate for me to reach out to these people,. after having been let go, but I had hoped there would be some amount of compassion and support for me in my plight.

And not one from that company will agree to write me any kind of positive remarks... I was very engaged in the work, I always met every deadline, and I carried a positive attitude and a team player mentality in that job.

Couldn't someone write some nice words for me as a favor?

I am pretty taken aback by the lack of response and by the unwillingness to help me.

It's awful... and I am feeling rejected as a result of the ghosting. It's a terrible feeling.