Wanting to be the life of the party

I've been under so much stress. I'm planning a graduation and a major trip all on my own, and yet work life is so demanding and a whole other ballgame of stress. I've been very withdrawn and barely speaking to my coworkers, and I haven't been in the nicest or the kindest. Everyone at work has been really stressed out, too, but it always feels like it's my fault somehow when it isn't.

I want to go back and regroup, and find the happy person I used to be. It depresses me that I've been so overwhelmed to the point where it affects my job performance and my relationship with my colleagues. I feel like the closest coworkers are avoiding me, we just don't talk like we used to, but I know they've got a lot on their plates, so maybe we're all just feeling things the same way, but I really want to go back to being more positive and outgoing.

My life has revolved around the graduation and the trip as well as adjusting to my new medications which is a nightmare in itself. I can't rest at home because I'm going through all my lists and schedules and to dos, and then worrying about how work will go the next day.

What should I do?

Take the time you need outside of work to recharge your batteries, whatever that entails. Can you utilize your downtime hours at night and on the weekends to recharge? What gives you a sense of inner peace and happiness? Pursue those activities that bring you these feelings again... journal, read, take walks in nature, go hiking, running, volunteer, meditate, or talk to friends and family... just throwing out some ideas for you. It really sounds like you just need some down time, some alone time to reconnect with the part of yourself that is currently buried or masked... it's still there, that happy side of you.. you just need to nurture it and feed it more so that you can feel it again come back to life. So, I suggest some solo recharge time & some good 'ole self care.. Work and other obligations can be all consuming, but we need to also recharge so that we can be at our best and feel at our best. Best wishes.

I felt very much the same way at one point and discovered it was my job that was bringing me down. I left that job (with a lot of seniority) and went on to something else and, presto, life got better.

I'm not sure if changing jobs is an option but it might be worth considering.

Graduation & trip are temporary stressors that will be over once you have taken the trip. Reassess where you are after that. Sometimes life is like peeling an onion.....remove one stress, see what it's like then. Then assess the situation & take the next step. Med change is always stressful but unavoidable at times. Get that settled & see how you feel. When you just have work you are dealing with you can figure out what might need to be done if it hasn't corrected itself by then. I learned to NEVER make multiple changes at one time cause it is too hard to sort through everything at the same time. May take longer but in the end, the results are usually better

Yes, I've been so absorbed with all the planning that it's been what I've been revolving around since the semester ended. But all the details have been straightened out and I can focus more on what I want to do in my free time.

The graduation trip has been so dramatic to plan...one friend I wanted to see said I couldn't hang out with another friend only to say she has health issues and it's not a good time, then there was a major issue of where I'll be staying where I was told to cancel the trip, but then we got over the hurdle and all was fine, then there was endless lists of things I need to pack and do and see...

Graduation itself has been very straightforward--a big lunch the day of and then the ceremony, and then spend time with family--and then my brother and I are putting on a big BBQ for my dad and grandpa for Father's Day, which again is straight forward--hot dogs and homemade macaroni salad and sides my brother and I will make together. I gotta find some form of celebration for my grandma, she turns 75 right before she comes up to see me.

So I've got the itinerary for the graduation and the trip, and I've got all my documents prepared and lists created and cap and gown ordered...now it's time to focus on my own mental health.

The job is a major issue, but I asked to transfer to a different department that seems more fitting for me and not so intense...hopefully July I will make the switch as the soonest time to transfer, but most of June I'll be gone so its not like I have to fully grin and bear it until then.

Thank you, I don't do well with major changes. But I always roll with it and push through the best I can and yes, everything all works out.

And now, I can just be excited with anticipation. Right now, I only need to worry about what to pack, my cap and gown and diploma, and minor details. The big hurdles are over, thankfully.