Being single =happiness

Not sure if this belongs here since it is about being single rather than being in a relationship. Mods please move if this the wrong forum.

When I was younger the idea of being alone was terrifying. I felt I had to have another person in my life. That lead to me being in abusive relationships.

I no longer am afraid to be alone. I love the solitude and freedom of being single.

Thought I would share this article.

I'm 70 And I've Lived Alone My Entire Adult Life. Here's What Everyone Gets Wrong About Single People. | HuffPost HuffPost Personal

I fully support this. I'm in a happy and healthy relationship, ("single on paper" bc not married). But consider me a singles ally. There is a lot of substance here and its something I've thought a LOT about over the years. Like how the world is set up to favor marriage (its shoved down womens throats practically in the womb), to the realization that other types of love besides romantic (friend love! Pet love!) are just as excellent forms of love as romantic. It sounds like you feel empowered, and to that I say "yea!"

I wonder if she is of italian descent. My authoritarian italian upbringing i am sure led me to value my personal freedom over everything else. My parents were like, we are just training you to be acceptable to and accepting of your future husband, who will surely beat you if you don't comply and maybe even if you do. Baby Una: Hold my Ovaltine.

Check out the women going their own way WGTOW movement.

Im not finding one, just the MGTOW.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NatalieJastrow Check out the women going their own way WGTOW movement.

What is this?

I’m certainly happier as a single person.

I don't even get into romantic relationships but I still end up in violent situations?

WGTOW

And of course there is a subreddit on Reddit.

I am so much happier single but that is also because I ended up with a dysfunctional husband. If we had same values & responsibility concepts it probably would have worked & if he hadn't been an idiot from even before the wedding I might have had respect for him but he lost that before the wedding & dug his hole even deeper after. It would have been nice to have had the right person because we had the same computer engineering career which could have been wonderful if he hadn't been such a jerk.

Now no fighting about where the money went or why didn't you show me that bill since everything was joint. No arguing about doing things we don't have money to do & no credit to pay....I use cash don't pay interest.....I check his credit report now because I still have legal action against him & he never pays but minimum of all his credit cards. Lost the house to foreclosure & sold it off to an investor the month before it auctioned then stole all that money even when a judge ordered it put in trust. If I wasn't still legally fighting that jerk leaving our names on the loan when he sold the house I would have totally walked away like I thought I had. The wonderful part about living across the country is that I really don't have to deal with his stupidity except for the things that actually effect me personally. I seriously would never consider getting married especially at my age. I am happy on my farm with my critters & the freedom to truly be me & not the evil person I became living around him & handle my finances totally responsibly & willingly do without things I can't afford. Definitely life us peaceful & happy here & I know when someone unbalances that peace it is them not me causing it & I can take action to remove them from my life.

What I loved about her research the most is this:

". Single people, and not just the single at heart, are on average more connected to more people. Compared with married people, we socialize with friends and neighbors more often and stay in touch with our parents more reliably. We exchange more moral, emotional and practical support with our friends, siblings, parents, co-workers and neighbors.

While people who are romantically coupled, or want to be, are typically focused on The One, single people more often tend to The Ones. We who are single at heart appreciate getting to include in our lives as many or as few people as we like, free from the concern that romantic partners might want more of that time and attention for themselves."

Interesting cause in the community where I live, married are many times more connected in the community than those of us single & owning a farm cause doing inside & outside work unless you can hire it done is exhausting leaving not much time to be social

One can be happy single and one can be happy in a good relationship. I don’t think anyone has monopoly on happiness. If one is happy, then it’s all good. Married or single

As about the research it’s largely based on outdated old fashioned view on marriage: a woman must get married and is subjugating herself to men when she gets married. Old fashioned view to say the least

Its 2023. Not 1950s.

I was single and am married. Happy with both situation. I never subjugate myself to anyone lol and certainly don’t have less social life after I got married. It’s true for everyone else I know who’s in a healthy happy relationship.

The only time one would certainly have less social life if they have young children. Your social life might be more kids oriented for the time being. But it’s nothing to do with being single or not. One can have kids single or married. Those times when you had to be married are all gone

Article also only talks about heterosexual relationships. Women don’t subjugate themselves to men if they are in homosexual marriage

I think (and base it on my experience with people) in general people who experienced only bad relationships and bad marriages will naturally conclude than being single is better. Of course it is. It’s definitely much better than suffering with unsuitable partner or experience abuse. No one would argue with that

You are very lucky to have a good relationship but most people don't have that today. Honestly my SIL thinks she has the best relationship in the world but I can't tell her her husband cheats on her on the regular.

Trust me I had my share of bad relationships, and that’s why I am not in them anymore. I don’t think it has anything to do with luck. It’s important to know what work for you.

Wow. How do you know he cheats and she doesn’t know? It’s terrible. Why can’t you tell her? I’d want to know. It’s a big safety concern in addition to everything else. If you have factual evidence, I believe the right thing is to tell her.

We can’t really say what most people have or don’t have. I know lots of people in healthy relationship

I had a wonderful 34-year marriage before I lost my husband to Covid. Now I am a widow and have absolutely no intention of having another relationship; I am just not interested. I have grown into my singleness and am rather content to stay that way. It’s an opportunity to spend time learning me.

LOVE THIS!!!

And boy did I need to hear this

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