Was disrespected by a so called professional cleaner today

Jesyka no one says it was your fault. I feel that you are misunderstanding.

It wasn’t your fault the gun was there but it wasn’t that lady’s fault either. You want people to understand how you feel about variety of situations, but you don’t want to understand how others feel, in particular how someone would feel seeing a gun laying around in a strangers house.

It doesn’t matter who put it there. You can’t blame a person for immediately leaving and not coming back or communicating with you after the incident.

Please try to understand what people are saying. No one blames you or saying you put a gun there. We are trying to explain to you why this person left and won’t talk to you. You are mad at her for no reason. You’ll never find anyone who’d be ok with this situation. Please try to understand that you cannot blame this person

You often claim being disrespected by people but this is yet another example when no one actually disrespected you. It’s not an example of disrespect.

I understand.

I’m not really mad at her, just kind of upset at how she chose to handle everythhing & badmouth me to her other client. She didn’t need to say that my house was so dirty either.

I think she was rude & unprofessional. Just leave then, but don’t involve a third party.

I was being judged obviously.

How do you know? She might have been simply scared/felt unsafe. Most people would feel unsafe and leave immediately. I don’t see how it’s judging you? It seems that you judge her for worrying about her safety.

I get that. The point is that she was being extremely inappropriate & unprofessional by telling another client that my house is to dirty to clean & that there is a gun in the house.

It’s none of anyone’s business.

Why can’t she tell her she saw a gun in your house? This woman referred her to you. Most certainly she needs to be told.

I have a handy man who sometimes comes fixes things for us. He’s very good and we’ve been telling other people about him. We originally met him on nextdoor. If he went elsewhere after our referral and was put in to unsafe situation, I’d need to know that! I’d need to know not to recommend that house to anyone and I need to know that so I never go there myself. What do you mean it’s no one’s business? She made a referral. It becomes her business!

It’s not unprofessional or inappropriate. It’s a safety concern

House being too dirty might be just an excuse. She might be scared to even speak of real reason. She possibly felt threatened

I think you are deeply confused about various scenarios where duty of confidentiality is involved. She is not your therapist or doctor or nurse; she is not your financial advisor or your banker; she is not your landlady who obtained your credit report for the purposes of deciding if you are a trustworthy tenant and who has a federally mandated duty to keep the information she received via running that credit check on you secret from anyone but you. She is not your trustee. She does not owe you a duty of confidentiality.

Yes, if you have an ongoing repeated relationship with a cleaner, it is reasonable to expect that she would keep secrets and not tell others about whatever she finds in your house: marijuana vaping pens, condom wrappers, or whatever. This lady does not have an ongoing relationship of implicit trust with you. Plus, I agree with Divine that safety concerns trump here. It is not that she inadvertently saw a sex toy in your bedroom which is innocent but might embarrass you: she saw a gun. A GUN!!!

The referring lady needs to know that your house is not safe so that she would not send other unsuspecting cleaning ladies to you.

You are expecting too much from this cleaning lady whom you have not even paid. You have very high standards for others.

Regarding that it was not your fault that the gun was there but your husband's fault: it does not matter. I tried to explain it to you by analogizing to workplace safety laws which are strict liability laws, i.e. whether you placed the gun there, whether he did, whether you knew of the gun or you did not is completely irrelevant. You as the employer failed to provide safe working conditions and that is all. It is your responsibility. You owe a duty to this cleaning lady. She does not owe you any duty. She has a right to blame you. You can then turn around and blame your husband and you will be well within your right to do so, as ultimately it is his fault, but vis-a-vis this lady, you are responsible.

Quote:

It’s not something condoned or encouraged or allowed in any shape or form.

Divine, I believe it would be more accurate to say it's not typical. I believe it's situational. I live in the rural south where it is not unusual for people to have guns out, even on display. I know one family who keep a loaded shotgun behind the door of every room in the house. They say it's for protection. My thought is from what? The zombie apocalypse? They live further out in the boonies than I do.

Well yeah there are exceptions of course. I live in the major hunting state so of course people have guns. I was mainly thinking if a situation of hiring a cleaning person and having unsecured gun in a living room and not giving any warnings or having valid reasons. Guns need to be secured or people need to be warned.

But you are right of course many people do have guns in
their houses and they aren’t secured.

I hope your safe, Liz, sounds like a dangerous area

over here where I live, as far as I know nobody here has guns, probably cause of how strictly controlled they are here (quite rightly)

Jesyka is in San Jose, CA. I am close to San Jose, too, and here it is not typical at all. In all my years living here, I have only once heard a story from my friend whose kids went to their friends' house and saw a gun there. It was a long time ago. I remember that my friend was shocked. She was in disbelief that it happened for real. I do not remember what ensued, meaning whether she allowed her kids to ever visit that friend's house again.

Same here and I live in the state with lots of wilderness and many hunters and still I’ve never seen guns laying around. But then again I don’t associate with people who leave guns laying around so it’s possible my views are influenced by that. I do know that people leave guns laying around and even give them to their kids to use freely because of mass shooting in my state and other horrific events.