Trying to move forward

Hi,

A lot of you have become my support network on here.

I've gone through a long run of emotional and mental abuse, and am in treatment with my kids for a covert narcissistic borderline personality spouse.

It's now 13 months since we separated.

There was absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent this, and there's no two ways about it, I received abuse.

I'm home with minor kids, and one big kid that is a young man that is trying to launch and find his way in the world. I have sole guardianship, and am in the family home.

I still miss my wife. I know what I loved was possibly an illusion, put on to bait me. But when things were good they were perfect.

I am absolutely NOT someone who wants to date or navigate the ins and outs of all that. I like being with my cohort of people so much. I like being home. I like cuddling and watch crime documentaries and bad action or sci fi movies, and working on projects on the house or in the garage, and making meals.

I wish I had a partner. I still hold myself back from calling her. I just want my person, someone I have a history with that knows me from waaaay back, who knows my story and whose story I know.