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#1
May 20, 2008, 10:18 PM
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Ok,there is a guy upstairs who abuses alcohol and drugs. I generally have nothing to do with him. Tonight, he was outside with his dog,and they both looked a little thin. He mentioned he only works under the table and their isn't alot of work right now. His rent and utilities are caught up, but he doesn't have any food.
I immediately packed 5 or 6 frozen items in a bag to offer. These are things we don't and never will eat. I gave them to the guy. He was thankful and appreciative. My husband was mad because he said this guy spends all his money on drugs. I tried to make the point I wasn't giving him $, just food. He is very angry with me and won't talk with me. Oh, I am a bad girl, again!
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Parce que maman l'a dit 
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#2
May 20, 2008, 10:31 PM
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It sounds to me that you did a good and just thing, and that is that,, we cannot afford to waste time in life situations such as this to argue over a value judgement or three, you gave him food for those fundamental needs, feel good about it if you can , I know it doesnt sound like my place to say this perhaps, but you seem to have quite a different set of values from your guy? or is he just trying to sound strong viewed? well, I think that was a really kind thing to do, and it might help the down and out guy to connect, whats a drug anyway, Proxac, Valium, Alcohol,, etc etc,, well done for you,, but I respect your guy's own view nonetheless.. you should be feeling good, I am sure you made somebody feel cared about in some way today, that he might never have expected, take care and best wishes......
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I ought to be playing piano again I ought to be doing this and doing that I ought to just be, and to be just music doesnt exist until somebody listens to it! |
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#3
May 20, 2008, 11:25 PM
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I think what we have here is the difference in how a man would take care of the situation and how a woman will take care of the matter........ YOU WIN GIRL!
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#4
May 20, 2008, 11:29 PM
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I think you did good.
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#5
May 20, 2008, 11:41 PM
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This man could have numerous problems and troubles in his life, addiction is hard and can consume your entire being.
I think what you did was a reflection of the human spirit of giving and caring. That just shows the compassion you have in your heart and if your hubby cannot see that....well, too bad for him!!! Good job!
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Dance as though no one is watching you.... Love as if you have never been hurt before, Sing as though no one can hear you.... Live as though heaven's on Earth! |
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#6
May 21, 2008, 10:45 AM
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Hopefully your husband will get over it. I don't see how he can be disappointed. Doesn't sound like he put much into it, "Gee, MBK shouldn't ever give food or anything to the guy upstairs" probably didn't enter his thought processes? Knee-jerk reaction. Maybe he was jealous; you're only supposed to be taking care of him to his way of thinking, he's making money for the food and here you are taking care of another guy.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#7
May 21, 2008, 12:08 PM
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mybestkids2, I think you done good. If it were me, I would probably buy a sack of dog chow for his dog the next time I went to the grocery store.
 I think the problem is not what you did but the fact that your H seems to want to control what you think and do. You have a different view than he does on this-- why should he get so bent out of shape because you are not his clone? I've been there, done that, I never really understood why my own H would get so pissed off when I had different opinions and views than he did. I hope your H can get over that and I hope you won't spend time worrying about how disappointed he is with you. I think you are the one who should be disappointed with him! (Not for having a different view from you, but for his not wanting you to think for yourself.) JMO
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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#8
May 21, 2008, 04:20 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Perna said: Hopefully your husband will get over it. I don't see how he can be disappointed. Doesn't sound like he put much into it, "Gee, MBK shouldn't ever give food or anything to the guy upstairs" probably didn't enter his thought processes? Knee-jerk reaction. Maybe he was jealous; you're only supposed to be taking care of him to his way of thinking, he's making money for the food and here you are taking care of another guy. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I completely agree with this. It could be some insecurities. Good for you to do what you felt was right! |
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#9
May 21, 2008, 07:17 PM
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Sounds like the issue is your relationship with your husband rather than your actions. If you have an adult-adult relationship, you can tell him you respect his opinion and you'll think twice before you do that again because you respect his opinion.
You need to step out of the routine reaction and try a different way. Show him you are an adult. |
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#10
May 21, 2008, 07:51 PM
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 Sometimes our alms ... ,, are best kept in silence ... Next time ,, maybe ,, Let Hubby do the hand up thing ,, and It may [ or may not ] Touch his heart in that place of The Joy Of Giving . >..
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#11
May 21, 2008, 10:03 PM
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My husband would act the same way. I don't really know why (our husbands) do but they do. YOU DID NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG! You were trying to help. I know how you are feeling with your husband though cause mine has acted very similar and just ignore him if he is being a jerk about the situation. You did a good thing and your husband will eventually get over it! Sometimes you have to do what you think is right and you did just that and for that you should be proud. It's a tough world out there we all could use eachothers help every once in a while!
((((((((((((((((( TO YOU!))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Hopes |
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#12
May 21, 2008, 10:18 PM
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We have self storage containers on our lot. One of the tenants was having a heck of time opening the lock. After a few minutes, I told Steve we should go over and help, he says "Its none of our business, leave it alone".
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Parce que maman l'a dit
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#13
May 22, 2008, 04:02 AM
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well i am sure your husband will understand you were just helping some one in need and you truely didnt do anything wrong and even though your husband may be right about the whole drug thing that on it own must be hard for that guy you did a really great thing i wouldnt worry about this at all GOOD JOB
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life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breaths away |
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#14
May 22, 2008, 10:23 AM
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my hubby is the same as yours, next time buy a bag of dog food and leave canned goods out side his door, don't say anything to hubby
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 A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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#15
May 23, 2008, 07:53 AM
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i expect you inproved the blokes view of ppl, not sure about all ppl that do drugs and drink but it sounds like he does try he is keeping a roof over his head this hard
i think you did good, i used to help someone , i stopped when they wouldnt help themselves my hubby would agree with your hubby but thats where we differ i would be willing to give my last pound but would have to think twice ((((((((((mybestkids))))))))))))))
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 No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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#16
May 23, 2008, 12:08 PM
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(((((((((((((( mybestkids )))))))))))))))
 
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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