Too lazy for the dating "dance"

I've been thinking about this a lot lately....how much energy one must expend when dating and meeting prospective men...(or women)...men, in my case. When you meet someone for the first time, thinking "maybe," there is this whole thing of mutual scrutinizing, assessing. It's exhausting...the thought of it to me.
Maybe it's sour grapes now, my way of rationalizing not doing it anymore, and staying "safe," but I sure do enjoy being solo these days, and free of the anxiety I experienced in dating over the past 10 years since my divorce.
Honestly, there has also been a grieving period during all of this, since I had hoped to find a devoted friend, lover, mate....kind of like i was programmed toward this. It didn't happen, and now the energy and risk toward that seems too great.
Does anyone else here identify, or have words of wisdom?
Patty

I don't know that I'd call it laziness? I think we go through moods and periods of our lives when it's easier to be with people or easier to be by ourselves and preferable, etc.? I hope, after my long life (yours being as long :-) and what I've seen and done that I wouldn't ever totally close the door to new friends, lovers, mates or whatever? I did that in my 30's and was very wrong in my "predictions" of the future and what it held for me.

hey the dating dance can be stressful.

I'd be scared of meeting someone now. I met my husband in 97 and was THE PARTY GIRL. The social butterfly, etc...I quit drinking years ago and have settled down, I'd be afraid to go back out there.

Good luck to you

Identify, yes.

I've read that men who are married live longer than those who aren't, however women who are single live longer than those who are married. I think that validates the energy thing.

Seeker1950, I hear ya! I think not having to do "the dating thing" again is on the "pro" side of the "pros and cons" list for trying to make my marriage work! Even though I'm only 37, try to keep myself relatively attractive and fit (when I'm not huge and pregnant!), after six and a half years with my husband, dating seems silly. Since most of my energy goes into being a mom, the thought of getting to know someone all over again seems like too much work!

I've always said I would only get married once in life, and I think if my marriage does end, I'll probably be one of those women who only dates if the right guy "fall into my lap"! In other words, I'd probably just stay single...

I agree. There is so much that has to go into dating. I mean, most of us who are/were married can probably say there is some sort of comfort to not having to chase a member of the opposite sex anymore.

Its funny but my husband and I are always laughing at how different we both are now that we have been married 5yrs. He no longer has the greatest bod and the abs, and I have gained weight since having my son and just don't dress up like I used too. It would be too much work to date now!!!! LOL.

It really IS a lot of work....for me at least. Though I do think the younger posters on this thread, whether single or pondering singlehood, would be more prone to meet someone. I've dated men whose adult children were very vigilant about the dad's finances and hovered like hawks, also con artists and stalkers. I lost my heart to the last attempt and was told coldly that he "wasn't in love with me." Also, as I've aged, had the hard knocks, I"ve become more discerning...a good thing. It's good to be skeptical, in my case, at least, since prior to this I was too naive!
Lastly, I think I've been wallowing in some self-pity here by posting this, and have taken stock of all the good in my life....just finishing my MA in Art, a snug, artsy home, a good job (though it's hell right now with the middle schoolers!) that I'm lucky to have despite the stress, and lovely twin grandsons in KY. My summer is free for the first time in 4 years of summer school and deadlines and projects. I intend to enjoy it...solo!
Love
Patty

Good for you seeker1950! I have to admit, I have always thought it's easier to be alone than have to deal with relationship struggles! That's not to say that "love ain't grand" however, I'm just not one of those women who feels "incomplete" without romantic love in my life.

Don't turn off your heart though, you never know when the right person will walk through the door, and if you're not open to the possibility, love could walk right by.

Enjoy your "you time", and congratulations on all your blessings!

Then of course now we have friends with benefits