fear of losing him....

My relationship with my love has always been kinda rocky. Recently, in the last 3 years, I havn't been coping well with life, I guess. He bears the brunt of it all. Finally, I have decided to go "talk" to someone. I have only gone twice, waiting for my third apt on Wednesday. Meanwhile, I have completely lost my sex drive. This is causing major problems. In addition, I am so down and pathetic all the time, he is basically starved of love from me. I know this, I know I am causing our relationship strains. He is sooo good about dealing with my attitudes and tears. I just don't know what to do!! Last night we had a HUGE fight about it all. He has been dealing with these issues of mine that he is starting to bottle it all up. My problems are causing him problems! This kills me because I never want to be the source of pain for him. I love him with all my heart but I can't get intimate and I don't show love very well. I need help quick before I ruin all my relationships!!!

well relationships are rough sometimes all you can do is work things out with him obviously he has been good with dealing with this so far if you know what is causing this try to fix it this wount be easy but give it a shot

Hey, hey, hey, don't panic! You're seeing someone to work your issues out, you've taken a big step, one that shows you are trying to take responsibility for yourself. The fact that your libido is suffering under the emotional strain is not surprising. Give yourself some time, just a little. And tell him, in the meantime, that you're working on it, doing your best, and ask for patience and understanding. Therapy can take a few weeks to kick in, and it can all be upsetting for a while. Talk to your counsellor too, about the best way to give yourself and get for yourself the time and space you need to work your stuff out.

Nothing will get broken overnight. You need to focus on yourself for a while.

Good Luck.

i suggest a marraige counselor (even if your not married) maybe they can help?

I don't know what advice I can offer to you, but I wanted you to know that when I read your post I felt that I really could relate. Good luck... I really believe the therapy will help with your relationship, as it helped in mine. Bringing your love into a therapy session or getting couples therapy could be very helpful too. I've been thinking of doing that for awhile.