[Impala]

I have posted about the upset and pain I've suffered now that my closest friend and I are not in touch.I remember the happy times-how good it was to have someone to talk to each day about the important
and not so important things,to have someone to do things with.I trusted her
,would have done anything for her and helped and supported her whenever she asked.But now...........once again in my life,I find that ,when it came tothe crunch ,those feelings were not returned. (through illness she claims/makes an excuse).But,this is not the first time I've had a close friend only to end up finding that when it came to it,it was me who valued the "friendship" most,who would put in the effort.

I still have friends,only not so close ones now.I've been hurt so badly by so-called close friends that I'm now seriously wondering whether it's worth it.I cannot go through the upset and
pain again.I've even made a
couple of attempts to make new
friends,they smile,say hello,
they'll call-but they don't so I think-I'm not putting any more effort in-you want to be friends,you come to me-but will that happen,I doubt it.

I feel so so sad,how nice it would be to have a close friend again-but no-one can be trusted.Outside of my family,it
seems people take,take take,they don't care for or value me-those are just things they say when it suits them to continue the friendship.The difference? When I say those things,I mean them.

I'm fed up of being taken for a ride.Are we better off without close friendships then? Is there any point in
wanting these types of relationships..........I'm starting to think I may as well be sad alone as have the hurt that is caused in addition to that.

I can't imagine evr trusting a close friend again or feeling that I want to.

I'm sorry for this post,my heart feels so sad today.

[Fuzzybear]

No...........

imo

[Fuzzybear]

PS when I say I care I mean it too, I completely get where youe at

[alevin]

Yes they are, there is no caring/love or true friendship without passion /compassion ,which will result in conflict from time to time, this is" Growth" ,,,,,-- BUT , BUT, BUT.- only you can make the judgement as to how much conflict is worthwhile,, nobody else can answer that

sorry if this all sounds obvious ,academic and impersonal, but I hope it helps,,,,,,

what is life without friendships, they are everything,

hope things get resolved,,,
speak your mind , voice your heart..,,look at your own expectations and desires..

[Fuzzybear]

I do agree with that, just hurt and jaded today

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((((((( Impala )))))))))))))))))
I'm sorry that your friend hurt you, I think at least some people are worth the risk. Friends make life a little more pleasant.

[MyBestKids2]

Do you have any good memories/times with this friend? I myself can't afford to be picky and try to seek the good in everyone. Believe me, it is there, sometimes its buried a little deeper. In the end its your decision, just decide which avenue you want to travel, and which would bring you the most heartbread.

Good luck!

[Impala]

Any "good" memories I had are tainted by the fact that I now realise that all her words about always being friends and caring were lies.Being stupid and naive I believed them but they were just her way of keeping me on board at a time when I was "useful" to her.

[Rhapsody]

I personally feel that Best Friends are Worth the occasional Upset....... IF - they are a True Friend to You - with good times out weighing the bad.

[Impala]

Unfortunately,I've not found that it's just occasional upset-that I could handle as it happens in all relationships.I've just found that so-called "best freinds" are no longer "friends" once I cease to be useful to them,which means they were never true friends in the first place.Even if there was someone out there who could restore my faith,I doubt if I'd trust them any more.

[50guy]

Well, it all depends on how close you are to the friend. If it is mostly upsetting to you then I would say, no.

I remember ending a 15 year friendship because it was just too hard to maintain it. I was the one that was trying hard to be a frien but, I just couldn't with that person so I had to end it for my own sake. Looking back i have to admit that I really didn't want that person for a friend but, i was reluctant to end it because I didn't want to hurt him. After all those years I was able to come to terms with it all and end it. It was only after I moved away that it ended.

Good luck to you,

[magasanguis]

I've had a lot of close friendships that have come and gone. There are times when I've been the one to end it, others where people left me, and still others where we simply drifted.

I think close friendships are a lot like any other relationship. They are a two-way street. Mutuality is absolutely key. Desiring more of a person than they're willing to give can only lead to upset. And it's upsetting for both parties, believe it or not. I've been on both ends.

In the end, I have the same views with friendships as with any other relationship. And some people find it unorthodox. Personally, I enjoy friendships for what they're worth, but I make sure I can function without them. There's no reason for me to be that attached to another person.

I think everyone has to determine what's worth it to them. It's no secret that relationships can be a struggle. Sometimes they're worth putting up with, other times they aren't.