[salukigirl]

so this starts out as a stupid story already, my friend and i both like the same guy. she says "go after him" and i told her i could never do that to her knowing that she has feelings for him. so i expected the same respect from her. i figure, if we both just get over him now it wont cause any problems so we both stay away from him. well, long story short, she kissed him yesterday. they have been hanging all over each other all day today at our company picnic and its making me upset. i dont really care about who he likes or doesnt like because its just a crush anyways. I more feel betrayed that I have kept my distance specifically to not hurt her, and then she turns around and does this to me.

and the worst part, is that were here on an internship and she leaves in 2 weeks. so i feel even more betrayed because she will then be a days drive away from here but she still did this. i feel like now ive lost my friends. i used to hang out with both of them and now im being excluded. shes doing the exact thing to me that i swore i would never do to her. and shes acting like a 12 year old. is this bothering me too much?

and i dont really have room to get mad at him because i have kept this basically to myself. i wasnt about to start something with anyone while im up here. like i said, its just a crush. but im still hurt that she could do this to me. am i over reacting?

[Rose3]

Fortunately you've described this to be "just a crush".

Maybe your friend didn't really understand about that it was important to you - although you had said that you could never go after him. Maybe she doesn't realize that you expected the same from her.

But - I ask why are you hurt that she would do this to you? Just because someone "goes after" a guy - doesn't mean that he has obligations to that person (unless he has agreed to some kind of commitment). Same as a girl - if one or more guys goes after her - she doesn't owe herself to any of them.

I apologize if I sound critical in any way - not trying to criticize. Just trying to explain a situation in which there is no commitment.

[salukigirl]

i guess i kind of feel like maybe i was just a gateway to him. i was friends with him before they ever met. and know that they have this fling its like im being excluded. theyre only around each other now and it makes it very awkward. so i guess its a little bit of everything. not only did she do the thing i said i would never do to her. but now they are around each other evry waking moment and its a little annoying. not because im jealous of her but because i feel like its breaking up our little group. like now, everyone feels awkward around them because they wont talk to anyone else if the other person is there. and im not generalizing; ive actually talked to other people about it and have heard them say that it makes them feel awkward also. i dont know, im guessing that once shes gone in 2 weeks things will go back to normal. i just dont like feeling like they cant hang out with anyone else because we were all having fun together and now it feels like we are dividing, y'know?