Too Sensitive ?

Have you been repeatedly told, by the same person, "You are too sensitive"? If so, do you think you are too sensitive ?

Hi, yes I have been told that and I think that they and anyone else who would say this is wrong. We might be different from them and they don't like it. Too bad......

Unfortunately, sensitivity in our country is viewed as a sign of weakness. LABELS. They drive me crazy. It is all semantics. I could just as easily say. "You have a good heart" Hmmmm, means the same thing to some people, but for some reason is does not carry as must negative weight. I am a pretty big guy. I watched that movie "PS I love you" this weekend with my wife. I did some crying. Will someone slap a label on my forehead that I am sensitive? Sure. It will not bother me in the least bit. I watched that movie for my wife. I felt her sadness and it made me sad. I feel sorry for people that criticize other people in that aspect. Those people are dealing with a lot of pain. Bottom line here is if the label you are putting on yourself is thought by YOU to be positive, then that is all that matters. If you believe it is negative, then remove the label. Just because I cry at "Chic Flicks" and love my wife, does not make me sensitive. I just have sensitive sides.

If someone keeps telling me that I'm too sensitive, it could be because they are a bully. They don't want to hear me when I tell them that something doesn't work for me. So rather than figure out a way for us to both feel comfortable, they blame me.

<font color="purple">All the time.
I try to change...
but it's too hard </font>

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
CedarS said:
If someone keeps telling me that I'm too sensitive, it could be because they are a bully. They don't want to hear me when I tell them that something doesn't work for me. So rather than figure out a way for us to both feel comfortable, they blame me.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I agree with that. If a person is repeatedly criticizing you for being "too sensitive" I think maybe the truth is that the person is too insensitive or has a problem taking responsibility for their actions ("it's all your fault").

In my opinion i dont think anyone can be too sensitive .... it shows compassion and caring. My own daughter said today that my son should 'toughen up'. It niggled me a bit because she is quite a harsh person in some respects and my son takes after me. He IS sensitive, caring, compassionate, unfortunately i do think sensitive people get put upon sometimes ....... my daughter is caring too, but wont put up with anything from anyone...... it shouldn't be labelled as weakness and we shouldn't have to change in an ideal world ......

I think sensitivity in a man is far more attractive than someone acting all macho, but that's only my opinion.

Jinny xoxoxoxoxo

Is this the thoughts of just ONE person ? If so then I would think they are a bully as someone else said, if it was a few people then maybe they have a point, but does it matter if you are ? So what ? Its part of you.

I agree!

TJ

I think what is most important with this discussion is to not buy in to the general concensus in most given populations that sensitivity is some kind of flaw. It is natural...hereditary and a much needed gift in this often insensitive world.
As was stated...it's what has been pounded into our heads from parents... teachers...bosses...our "peers" and the media on a daily basis most of our lives...that can give this natural personailty trait an unfair "stigma". If it is looked upon as weakness...and we accept that....then that's how we view ourselves. It's all in how we percieve this to be; our view of our place in this world.
There will always be "warrior kings" in our society....but a kingdom without it's bards...artists...teachers...spiritual leaders...is just an empty place without any culture. I wouldn't be there...would you?
Pretty dull!
Look...it takes all kinds to make up this great big goofy world. No-one is better than anyone else!
If you are sensitive...as I am...know yourself...your special gifts and place in this existence...embrace and nurture it fully. Learn to accept and love who you are. This is most definately not a flaw! More like a precious gift!
Have a good thoughtful night...
m.b.

with Moodyblu

How can a person possibly be too sensitive, who makes the sensitivity laws? It is not up to one person to dictate to you what you are, they should look more towards themselves.
Bex

ok... i didn't even read the replies to this... i skipped straight to the end.... so i'll go back and read this all after my post.... (it'll be like the prize at the bottom of the cereal box)

yup... heard it..... lots.... too often maybe.

personally after many different experiences in life i am to the point that i want to be comfortable. by that i mean this - i really want some peace and quiet, i want to be with someone i love who loves me back and isn't afraid to show it, i care less about other people's opinions and things that steal your attention away from the more important aspects of life.

overall i think i have just calmed down - in a sense.

now about the sensitive thing...... i dated a girl once, we were madly in love and young. we went to a beach once on the 4th of july and we were sitting about 25 feet behind an elderly couple holding hands and leaning towards each other. we both decided then and there that we each wanted to be old just like them. that image to this day is in my mind fresher than this cup od coffee i now hold in my hand.

of course, i am not with the girl anymore :P

my wife thinks i am 'the most sensitive man she has ever met.' maybe this is saying too much - BUT - i wash her hair, and she's out of the tub before you can say hot potato. no reciprication. I tell her i love her and i get 'do you really' in return. i have yet to HEAR her tell it to me, but at least i get it in text messages.

i've asked her about these things and in return she replies 'so you want me to treat you like a little girl?'

although i know that its the BPD talking (see previous threads through my profile) and i'm really not asking too much, my brain really does a quick inventory of my requests. it's almost as if i really do take into consideration that maybe i am in fact asking more than it is possible to recieve.

like they say, past history is a true predictor of future events, and my personal past history with family isn't the greatest for comparing and contrasting the likeness of stable relationships (my mother being a full blown alcoholic and my father being involved with drugs).

its taken me YEARS of just contemplation and forgiveness to get to the point now that i can just let things (mostly) run off me like water off a ducks back. through all of that, i gained a perspective about life that really does help me evaluate the REALLY important things vs. the not.

1) is what i am thinking about really worth my efforts and/or time.

2) is the effort i am investing into the task for myself or for someone else? are those efforts for other people worthy of my time? is it conterproductive?

3) does the end justify the means - in saying that - will the end product or result add to my frustrations or accomplishments

there's nothing wrong with expression of emotion. if you feel that you are more often than not feeling frustrated/sad/angry/annoyed then the possibility of counseling my need to be considered.

stuffing your emotions also warrants the above assessment, as well as an eventual stomach ulcer.

Sensitivity? pffftthhh.... you can still be a tough guy but have the ability to shed a tear........ i've seen it done.... and whats better is that the girls dig it.... .

Yeah I've always been called "too sensitive" especially by my mother and schoolteachers, random acquaintances. I agree that there isn't such a thing as "too sensitive" and I don't think its fair to say that about someone else, just like you wouldn't say "too tall" or "too black." I think this sort of comment is just pointless, I mean are you supposed to suddenly become LESS sensitive? It is exactly as someone suggested earlier- a bully comment to shift the blame. But what I want to know is this: what do you say/do in a situation like this- they made tactless remark, you commented that it was insensitive, they said "you're just too sensitive!!" ?

I actually AM too sensitive. I get hurt way too much. I can interpret things in a way that I feel hurt very easily so I would say I am too sensitive. I'm trying to toughen up & learn new thought processes through DBT, because I tell you this is no way to live!! Feeling hurt & ready to cry all the time...--Suzy

hi larry, i know howu feel. its terrible....i know im too sensitive. i can joke about myself all the time, but when someone makes a joke about me, i take it really harshly. I hate them for awhile. I dont like being overly sensitive, but i guess that works into my good ol insecurities. I mean in a nother sense, being sensitive, also helps me be sensitive to others (to an extent...) and makes me the good listener i am.
<3

I've been told I'm too sensitive in the sense that I'm very defensive. And they're right. Discovering why is part of my healing process.

Being sensitive as in you cry at sad movies... it's a sign of compassion. It means you can empathize and connect with your fellow human beings, something which is sorely lacking in this world.

unfortunately that is the story of my life. But i know i am too sensitive, I just dont know what to do about it!

I am very sensitive, I know it and have heard it from a few people who have known me well not just casually from strangers or people who don't know me well. I have it on both sides in the way AllyH said, sappy commercials even get me crying sometimes, and I do inspect things that are said to me, don't just let them "roll off my shoulders" like people love to tell me I should just be able to do.