Abandonment due to illness *help*

Hello Everyone

I have bipolar 1 w/ anxiety. My brother is my only living family member that I am close to. My parents have passed on.

My brother is tired and burnt out and doesn't want to be in a "caring role" for me anymore. He says that he doesn't desire my company either. He wants only e-mail communication.

I am beside myself with grief and disbelief that I have been disowned by my brother. I only have a FEW family friends and doctors to count on for support. It feels as though he has died but he is still here. I have school starting soon and I need to be healthy by then.

To lessen the emotional pain I have been taking sleeping pills during the day (not going outside or driving). I sleep most of the day away and when I am awake I feel that I am in shock.

Can anyone relate to how I am feeling or this situation I am going through?

How do I get beyond the sadness?shock?grief?

Sincerely,

Zen

I think you have to let him be for the time being, as difficult as that may be.

Zen888,

I'm sorry for the shock and grief you feel. I wish things were not the way they are.

Burn-out is not something anyone plans on having. It can take tremendous energy to be someone's caretaking family person.

Burn-out can't just be willed away or wished away. It is exhaustion at an emotional, mental and physical and even spiritual level.

I think you need to accept his need to take care of himself for a while and see if your T can help you find other means of supporting yourself for a while. If you let him rest now, he may be able to come back. If you don't honor his need for distance now, he may never come back to the relationship. Burnout is real.

I know you need support, but you also need to deal with your life and not just go into hiding and sleep your life away - that will eventually mess things up badly. Get in to see your T and begin to work on your plan for recovery. Keep coming here and we will support you as best we can. I do care, but I care enough to tell you the truth.

leslieann

Thanks for your advice!

But how do I not let what my brother says or doesn't say bother me? He wants a very limited distant relationship with me and it hurts!

> He wants a very limited distant relationship with me ...

For now.

Yes, for now. My parents and stepmother are dead and I have three older brothers and a stepsister. Only one brother and I are in relation, the other two live across the country and I see my stepsister and her family only Christmas. But I don't lean very hard on the brother near me. A person has to live one's own life, can't expect much from siblings, especially when just beginning adulthood and middle age. Work on finding friends at school and other activities for awhile and what you are doing with your own life.