Paranoid girlfriend (ME)

I can relate to all this thinking. Sometimes, (like today) it seems to consume all my thoughts. It just esculates.
My boyfriend and I hadn't had sex in a few weeks. I immediately start on him about who else he's seeing or sleeping with. Then we fight about why I don't trust him. I just don't understand why I don't trust him. I read the other posts about "signs" but there aren't any. His friends say he's the most loyal guy, but I just can't stop thinking like that. Then I start to think that our relationship isn't going to work and maybe things will be better with another person. He says that he loves me but I won't let him love me.
It drives me crazy that my brain is this way!!
However, I am glad that I found this website and am able to talk with other people.

oh my god i can so relate to the no sex thing, well not as much. it is so different in the begining of the relationship i think. then few weeks ago he hurt his back, he has been working more, etc . so we have not been having sex as much and although i do know why i had to open my mouth and ask him if he is still attracted to me , etc. yea he thought i was crazy! but made me feel better about everything. i hate this way of thinking!

I'm glad that I'm not as crazy as he says that I am. Meaning that there are others out there that "share my brain". I think that part of the reason is that I had some bad things happen to me when I was younger that I don't think I am quite ready to talk about yet. Since today I have a semi-clear head, I think that I can understand why I am like this. Those bad things have had a trickle effect on me. I have been in a few other long relationships. However,in those relationships, I was the cheater. I loved the attention that I got from other guys. Now that I think that I found real love, I am so afraid that the tables will turn because I have been 100% faithful in my 2 year relationship. I do not know if this is why that I think like this or if it's just an excuse. I know that I definately have to work on my trust problem, I just don't know where to start, or how I am glad that you are here and that I have someone to talk to and share these kind of things with.

I think the worst thing about it is that there are girls out there that ARE controlling and jealous, etc but not in that way that "we" are, does this make sense? We are just insecure people who need to be helped out a little .

hey

i have the same problemmm! i dont know how to stop! but my bf has a past and told me he cheated on me but later said he only said it out of anger because he said it while we were in a big fight i dont know whether to believe him or not because i know i love him and i want to believe him but now everything he does i think hes up to something or is cheating or lying and i dont believe anything he says...

if you found something that worked for you let me know please

oh jeez its like you're reading my mind and writing it down!! {except the most loyal guy part =/ } i hope this kind of thinking stops at some point!
i keep telling myself if we get out of the town were in and move in with eachother it will be better, but i dont know what to do anymore. it seems like the thinking is getting worse and worse!

well u are very welcome my friend i know how cruel and difficult this world can be some times just hang in there sweety some day things will get better trust me i am living prove of this

I am so sorry you are going through that. I went through that with my boyfriend (he's been with me for 2.5 years) and he's really closed himself off with me because of it. I pushed him away far too many times by accusing and assuming he's cheating on me. Many of my friend's have told me that he will do what he wants and even if he was cheating on me there's nothing I can do. I know that doesn't help, and I know that it is probably scary thought, but look at it this way okay? You cannot make his mind up for him right? You cannot chain him up and worry about if he is doing you wrong. You think and worry about stuff you cannot control then all you are doing is hurting yourself. Love is a leap of faith girl, if you love someone trust them, if they hurt you, you learn from it. Notice how I said LEARN not fear. Don't let fear consume your relationship, I know I did.

have u felt this way in other relationships?

Let me tell you, moving is not the answer. He got transferred to 1300 miles away from where we were. I still have the same problem and I just may think it may be worse. I finally landed a job with insurance, so I am going to go see someone as soon as it kicks in. This is what he has asked of me in order to further our relationship. I want to get married, kids, etc but he won't do it until I at least make some progress. And now looking at other things on-line, I am afraid that I am bipolar as well. I wondering if anyone can recommend a book to help with trust issues until I can talk to a T. Thanks