Is it right?

I just ended a six year relationship with my highschool sweetheart/husband. Over the years we have endured alot. his brother died in war, he deployed and saw many bad things, and he has laways had a cheating bone in his body. I dont remmeber a time where there wasnt some girl somehwhere getting in our way... we had split up one time and i went out and i met a guy, it was too soon, so then i had urt my husband. i live with that everyday. I told him what happened and he said he still wanted to work on us, but after that all he did was throw my mistake in my face every chance he got. The only reason i suck out someone else was becuase i felt no intimate connection with my husband anymore, he was a roommate who i once had feelings for. He hurt me for so long that i let my love slip away. He used to be the only guy i ever wanted... Well i finally cut ties, told him how i felt and we decided it was best. Just days later he was in another relationship and felt the need to keep telling me about it even tho i asked him not to. Then he started begging me to come back saying im his one and only and he cant go on without me, but i stuck with my decision. he then attempted suicide and was held by the state for observation for 3 days. in those three days he was very bitter to me. still asking if i would give him a chance but still curious about his other reltionship. i told him if he had feelings for osmeone theres no way we could work, he cheated with no feelings numerous times how can i trust him when he has feelings for someone. I dont know what to do. I feel like i made the right decision...but did i?

Hi Pistol02 and welcome to PC...

I'm sorry about your relationship and all you both have experienced and endured. It is hard sometimes for even the closest of unions to work through major trama,,,even when we Love so dearly...

Think of your marrage as the clearest pond...as you approach you can see the bottom, the shiny rocks and healthy marine plants rolling softly with an unseen current... and if the wind is still,,even your reflections look back against this tranqual scene...

Then rocks are thrown and splash, turmoil, white water and ripples of all sizes running from the impact into other ripples from other impacts...It is chaos from what was Peace...

Rocks have fallen into your relationship..some thrown by each of you,,some acts of God....

It is impossible to see the bottom now or even anything resembling what you both saw at one time.....until...

You wait and breath slowly,,and wait some more,,and think about then a while ago when all was quite...

Then ask yourself,,is that picture what I want...with this man...and hopefully he will ask it too....and if that is what you both want...then work for it and stop throwing stones.....

We have many members here who know about loss and I'm sure they will add something to your post...

With Care,

Lenny

Ditto what Lenny said. (well put BTW Lenny)

Unless you can both see clearly, nothing will change. And if it is going to, a firm commitment must be made by both. One on & on off will not cut it. Perhaps a short separation is in order. Can you get separate places to live and maybe just date? You really can't make a sound judgment while under the same roof (in my opinion).

And if he tried suicide, he needs to work on those issues also.

If it was me, I'd suggest that when he gets his life in order, maybe you can talk about your future.

Hello Pistol, welcome to PC!

It sounds like you and your husband have both been through a lot. Only you know whether or not you made the right decision. You have to do what's best for you, it sounds like your marriage was very unhealthy. Your husband has an issue somewhere to continue to cheat an you, perhaps he doesn't even know what it is.

I'm a little confused, he said he had feelings for someone else AND he wants you to stay?