Being friends with the "ex". Do I have to??

I hope you don't mind this odd posting, but this is what I need to tell him:

"I don't want to be friends with you!!!!! I cannot be friends with you so stop harassing me with this. I don't care whom you are with or what you are doing in your life. You made the choice of removing me from your life so this is what you 're getting!
So you've moved on, and so incredibly fast! Good for you and your excellent survival skills. You stepped on my back so that you can be a better man for her. Congrats, you must be proud being such a man! Now you suddenly like the idea of marriage and kids. What a different person you are! But are you??? Now you 're with a fancy cell phone, driving her car, swimming in her pool at her mansion in Massachusetts...Finally getting closer to the US citizenship and a good inheritance, huh? I guess you're doing well for someone who barely owns underwear....So are you a better man, or are you hiding even better? Speed up that wedding baby, speed it up and milk her for what she’s worth!!! Right??? What a guy….

Yep, look at you now, always approaching me with pity in your eyes, you know that I'm alone and I can see you're loving it. Truth is, my years alone have been much happier than when I was with you. How sad is that knowing that those years with you were 4!!! What a waste of time, really. You look at me with such a mature attitude now, huh. You're such a success, right? Now you know how to compliment me, now you are nice, gentle with such understanding in your eyes. It's good to see that you can afford to be that way now. I wish you could have been half as nice back then!
I can't be friends with you. Maybe I am being immature, maybe I am forever bitter, maybe I did love you more than I should have. My bad. You didn't deserve my time and for this I will never again waste another full minute with you. I gave you time and I saw what you did with it. You are a corrupted individual, I admired you once but now I know you.
You took advantage of my kindness and my good nature. You manipulated my emotions and scarred me deeply during those years with things that you said or did. Maybe you've regretted it now, but back then you knew what you were doing and you meant it. So, you want to be friends now to redeem yourself? Tell me something; would you keep as a friend somebody who's done you wrong? Do you usually keep those people as friends? Do you trust those people? Why do you ask this from me??? Stop demanding from me to be a "bigger person" and "grow up"! Stop making me feel guilty and irrational about this.
So now you know why I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. It has nothing to do with whom you are with; if you are engaged or married or with the kids you'd always say you never wanted. I don't care about your life anymore because you never cared for mine.
STOP BEING FRIENDLY WITH ME AND WIPE OFF THAT "I DON'T UNDERSTAND" FACE. Friends don't do what you did. You are no friend of mine."

This goes out to him. Sure, I wish him happiness....the exact same happiness he gave me, no more, no less. The very same amount.
I'm not crying because of some lost love. He didn't love me. I'm crying because of the bad memories I have that can't seem to leave my head. I want to forget so badly! The more I try to forget the more they flood in my head. I wish I could forget. I wish I wasn’t so stupid. I wish I had found the strength to leave earlier.

just imo valex, but wouldnt you do yourself the most good by CHOOSING to harbor no ill feelings towards the ex? think of what you could do with that free time of yours you will suddenly gain in letting go of hurt, anger, confusion.. you can choose to be good to yourself and love yourself and give yourself the widest open door to freedom by supplanting the fears, worries, doubts with hope.. for yourself....

is it possible to care for others from a distance? you would care and be a safe distance also.. you could care and hope that the ex will find their way out of the darkness.. you could contribute to the good being of the planet and yourself by clearing out your own energy zone first and choosing love and joy for yourself by leaving behind the pains and misunderstandings that are now behind you..

a new day awaits

I agree with Nowhere...The energy and emotion you spend on writing out your thoughts may be therapeutic and cathartic. Maybe good to do that for yourself, but by sending out this letter to him, you are still giving him power, yes, POWER, by revealing your anger and hurt. You need to take away his power by focusing on your own happiness....like Nowhere said..
I'm not judging you or chastizing you on this, because I've done such things myself, only to later wish I had just remained silent. The man is a cad and has moved on. By remaining silent, concentrating on your own wellness, you take away his power over you.
Love
Patty

hi vali had similar feelings at one time. my T told me don't empower him by letting him have this hold on you. he suggested a cool remedy...."don't give him rent space in your head." u can fill up your thoughts/mind with moving on and putting him behind you. he's history. fill it with wonderful new things in your life. i did it and have never looked back. i hope this helps....keep us posted on how u're doing, k? i care.

valex, do you and your ex have kids together? If so, there is reason to remain on civil terms with him, for the sake of your kids. If you don't have children together, there is no reason for you to have any contact with him at all. Just tell him to stop contacting you, that you have moved on. End of story.

I agree with the others about carrying those negative emotions around. You will feel so much better once you drop those, and can direct all that energy positively--to creating the life you want for yourself.

Maybe a therapist can help, one who does EMDR.

Good luck.

No, Sunrise we have no kids. He was allergic to the idea of kids when he was with me.
What exactly does EMDR stands for?

The good thing about having no kids with him is that you have no real reason to maintain any kind of relationship if you don't want to....

...I do second the idea of talking to a therapist to work through your issues....it might make you see things in a whole new way. Good luck!