[Joannof3]

My name is Bee,I'm new here ..I dont know if im in the right forum ,,but I need help..I moved across the united states to be with a man who promised me the world.when I came here it was just me at first..my boyfriend lives with his parents and I slept on their couch for 6 months..my three kids came to live here and so I moved across the street from my b/f and moved in with his aunt..she had a grandson who was a problem and started talking bad about me ,my kids and my b/f so me and the kids moved from there..we then moved in a basement that belonged to my b/f's cousin ,,was told we could stay there as long as we needed to..10 days later was asked to leave ..we then moved to a motel,just me and the kids..it was so bad there,,I hated it! I went to a local agency and asked for help ..2 months later the kids and I moved to an apartment and I hate it too...it is so roudy here and the kids that live here are so mean..I dont know anybody here as I left my friends and family,I dont know who to talk too..my b/f is building a home just behind his parents home...I dont know if it is the right thing for me to stay ..He doesnt stay with me and the kids even though he knows I am scared to death where I live..He is still living with his parents and I'm just confused..his mom and I had an argument and just recently started talking again and of course b/f did nothing to help the situation..my ? is ..should I wait to see what happens or should I make plans to go back home? I have panick attacks and they are getting worse as time goes on..I really love my b/f but I feel that he's not in the relationship unless things go his way..the kids and I have sacraficed everything for him and he has done nothing ..He would have built house whether we were here or not..one more thing,,,,if I get upset because Im alone and unhappy he gets upset and claims he has headache and wont come over to see us.He tells me " Im afraid of everything and paranoid.'''' It's so hard to explain all this and have you understand everything...please give me some advice or tell me what you think....thanks for letting me vent ,,I feel alittle better allready..your friend ,Bee

[Peanut61]

Gosh, Bee, what a tough situation. What does your b/f say about whether you should stay or not? More importantly, what is your gut telling you to do? I'm glad that you have posted here, and I hope you post again soon.

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT :-)</font color=blue>

[doug]

hello bee i hope this finds you well, i read your letter and i thought i should share some advice with you figure out what would make you happy and work to it. im stuck in atlanta i came foolishly but i have made it my home if you cant get your life together where you are go home this guy your seeing sounds like a mis take but i know love is blind i just want you to think about how much you need to love yourself and i dont even mean your kids some day theyll be gone you need you very badly

[nostoc]

Bee, I can appreciate your situation and it certainly sounds like the situation is spiriling downward. My gf of 16 years has met someone on The Internet and she has decided after chatting with this man for less than 2 months, that she is moving with her 15 year old daughter to Vermont to live with this man. Given my experience with this situation, I suspect you chatted with this man for a while and then the decision was made to move to live with him. Unfortunately, when you chat with someone on the Internet, you see the person they want you to see and it is easy to become immersed with someone only to find he/she is different once you meet and live with them for a while. My advise would be to move back home where your family and freinds so you have access to your support system and try to pick up the pieces and move on as this man does not seem to be putting forth any effort to support you now you are living near him. I know what its like to be alone as I have been shut out since my gf met a man on The Internet. I wish things had worked out for you, but the reality of it is that things probably won't get any better than they are now and you deserve to be treated better than this. Best wishes to you and I hope whatever you do, that things will work out for you. Tony

[Joannof3]

Thank you so much for your responses..I think what I will do is give b/f a chance once the house is built ..I do love him so much and don't want to give up on us..If after that things don't change I know what I need to do...Thanks again for all your support..Bee..

[kakarizz]

sorry bee for the mishap, life can be sometimes very unfair especially in a situation where your children are involved. My advice is take the children home, then when you and your boyfriend get back on your feet you can bring them home(your own). Children growing in such harsh develop mentalities that either challenge them to better their lives by working hard in school OR destroys them by turning them into hooligans, you can be calling them on a daily basis.
Children are the most important issue right now.
You can deal with the b/f family as you settle.

to be or not to be that is the question!